Page 41 of 58 FirstFirst ... 31363738394041424344454651 ... LastLast
Results 601 to 615 of 866

Thread: Lymerick

  1. #601
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2

    The Dragon's Gold

    I

    Trying to explain why the damsel got caught by the dragon

    Most dragons like sitting on gold
    While the knight wants a damsel to hold,
    But the damsel prefers
    Those knights richer than hers
    Or that dragon both well-off and old.

    II

    The problem with dragon gold is both knights and damsels want it

    A dragon sits deep in his cave.
    He has gold since he knows how to save.
    There’s a damsel distressed
    By her shiny knight pest
    Sneaking in since gold makes fools brave.

    III

    The dragon has sold all his gold

    The dragon said, “Gold’s gonna drop.”
    So he sold when gold hit a new top
    And the damsel moaned, “Why?”
    You could hear the knight cry,
    But those bulls couldn’t make that bear stop.

  2. #602
    Closed
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    6,373

    Love in the Time of Civil War

    There was an old girl named Sofia
    I knew a brief time in Crimea;
    I took her to bars,
    She showed me her scars,
    And left me acute gonorrhea.

  3. #603
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    3,026

    "It" happens

    There once was a pooch named Bruce
    Who agreed to a ceasefire truce
    But Bruce a slow learner
    And with a real burner
    In the house left a hot steamy deuce
    Uhhhh...

  4. #604
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2

    Buried Inside the Monster’s Stomach

    But for fear I appeared to be brave.
    Being dumb made me harder to save.
    When those monsters ate lunch
    Even bones had to crunch
    But at least I did not need a grave.

  5. #605
    Closed
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    6,373

    More Smut

    There once was a bashful young bride
    Who couldn't make love, though she tried.
    She'd slip off her teddy
    And cry: "Dick, I'm ready!"
    Though she knew not for what, I confide.

  6. #606
    Closed
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    6,373

    Free Love (okay, More Smut)

    There was a young lady named Betty
    Whose favors fell free as confetti;
    One night on a sheet
    She exclaimed: "Oh, you're Pete!
    I thought you were Tom, Dick, or Eddie."

  7. #607
    Closed
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    6,373

    Power

    I didn't repower my IPad
    I forgot all about the the thing: my bad.
    It makes me feel senile,
    This noggin so penile.
    The deuce! I've no juice today, by gad!

  8. #608
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2

    Recipe: Monster Stew

    What you’ll need is a rather large pot
    Since the mass of a monster’s a lot.
    Drop some veggies in, too,
    As you stir this fine stew.
    When it’s done, it will taste good--or not.

  9. #609
    Closed
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    6,373

    Home Run

    There was a young lady named Doll
    Who longed for just one decent ball;
    She got her desire
    And laid on with fire:
    It soared o'er the center field wall.

  10. #610
    Closed
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    6,373

    Literature

    There was a young lady named Bloom
    Who had a notorious womb;
    She sat by the waters
    With Erin's fair daughters
    And called Irishmen to their doom.

  11. #611
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Posts
    4,871
    Blog Entries
    29
    Named Molly, the lady in question,
    She'd curves that pigeons could nest on,
    And under her thatch,
    A Peacock did hatch,
    Bright blue with an indigo crest on.
    ay up

  12. #612
    Registered User Cassie Hughes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Cheshire UK
    Posts
    77
    Now Susie the seamstress's daughter,
    Had far more to drink than she oughta,
    So her seams twisted round,
    Leaving gussets unbound,
    Which was not how her mother had taught 'er.

  13. #613
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Posts
    4,871
    Blog Entries
    29
    But though from a seamstress born,
    Haute Couture she always did scorn,
    And often said nay,
    to a new neglege,
    prefering her jim-jams all torn.
    Last edited by prendrelemick; 10-24-2016 at 05:16 AM.
    ay up

  14. #614
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    3,026

    Susie - what a doozie

    There was a young gal named Susie
    Wouldn't wear the nighty of a floozy
    It's no flim-flam
    Liked her jim-jams
    Except of course while in the jacuzzi
    Uhhhh...

  15. #615
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Near Chicago, Illinois USA
    Posts
    9,420
    Blog Entries
    2

    Anticipating Halloween

    When those Halloween spooks ring my door
    I’d run to them creaking the floor.
    They must wait patiently.
    I move slower they see,
    But I’ve treats that they’ve come looking for.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •