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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #601
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    The Dragon's Gold

    I

    Trying to explain why the damsel got caught by the dragon

    Most dragons like sitting on gold
    While the knight wants a damsel to hold,
    But the damsel prefers
    Those knights richer than hers
    Or that dragon both well-off and old.

    II

    The problem with dragon gold is both knights and damsels want it

    A dragon sits deep in his cave.
    He has gold since he knows how to save.
    There’s a damsel distressed
    By her shiny knight pest
    Sneaking in since gold makes fools brave.

    III

    The dragon has sold all his gold

    The dragon said, “Gold’s gonna drop.”
    So he sold when gold hit a new top
    And the damsel moaned, “Why?”
    You could hear the knight cry,
    But those bulls couldn’t make that bear stop.

  2. #602
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Love in the Time of Civil War

    There was an old girl named Sofia
    I knew a brief time in Crimea;
    I took her to bars,
    She showed me her scars,
    And left me acute gonorrhea.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  3. #603
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    "It" happens

    There once was a pooch named Bruce
    Who agreed to a ceasefire truce
    But Bruce a slow learner
    And with a real burner
    In the house left a hot steamy deuce
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  4. #604
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    Buried Inside the Monster’s Stomach

    But for fear I appeared to be brave.
    Being dumb made me harder to save.
    When those monsters ate lunch
    Even bones had to crunch
    But at least I did not need a grave.

  5. #605
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    More Smut

    There once was a bashful young bride
    Who couldn't make love, though she tried.
    She'd slip off her teddy
    And cry: "Dick, I'm ready!"
    Though she knew not for what, I confide.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  6. #606
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    Free Love (okay, More Smut)

    There was a young lady named Betty
    Whose favors fell free as confetti;
    One night on a sheet
    She exclaimed: "Oh, you're Pete!
    I thought you were Tom, Dick, or Eddie."
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  7. #607
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Power

    I didn't repower my IPad
    I forgot all about the the thing: my bad.
    It makes me feel senile,
    This noggin so penile.
    The deuce! I've no juice today, by gad!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  8. #608
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Recipe: Monster Stew

    What you’ll need is a rather large pot
    Since the mass of a monster’s a lot.
    Drop some veggies in, too,
    As you stir this fine stew.
    When it’s done, it will taste good--or not.

  9. #609
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Home Run

    There was a young lady named Doll
    Who longed for just one decent ball;
    She got her desire
    And laid on with fire:
    It soared o'er the center field wall.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  10. #610
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Literature

    There was a young lady named Bloom
    Who had a notorious womb;
    She sat by the waters
    With Erin's fair daughters
    And called Irishmen to their doom.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  11. #611
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Named Molly, the lady in question,
    She'd curves that pigeons could nest on,
    And under her thatch,
    A Peacock did hatch,
    Bright blue with an indigo crest on.
    ay up

  12. #612
    Registered User Cassie Hughes's Avatar
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    Now Susie the seamstress's daughter,
    Had far more to drink than she oughta,
    So her seams twisted round,
    Leaving gussets unbound,
    Which was not how her mother had taught 'er.

  13. #613
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    But though from a seamstress born,
    Haute Couture she always did scorn,
    And often said nay,
    to a new neglege,
    prefering her jim-jams all torn.
    Last edited by prendrelemick; 10-24-2016 at 05:16 AM.
    ay up

  14. #614
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Susie - what a doozie

    There was a young gal named Susie
    Wouldn't wear the nighty of a floozy
    It's no flim-flam
    Liked her jim-jams
    Except of course while in the jacuzzi
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  15. #615
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    Anticipating Halloween

    When those Halloween spooks ring my door
    I’d run to them creaking the floor.
    They must wait patiently.
    I move slower they see,
    But I’ve treats that they’ve come looking for.

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