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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #556
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    If I had eyes in the back of my head I could see my butt from there

    A butt is best viewed from behind.
    From the front other things you will find
    And you’d have to take care
    She don’t see where you stare
    But with luck you’ll find she doesn’t mind.

  2. #557
    Registered User Cassie Hughes's Avatar
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    Now gentlemen do have a care
    when at ladies behinds you do stare
    for if you raise their dander
    with sauce for the gander
    the goose will pinch your derriere

  3. #558
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Owl Be seeing You

    A gander's a masculine fowl,
    But so is the great horny owl:
    He takes quite a gander
    Whose goosing whose dander;
    But only asks "Who?" with a scowl.
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 08-09-2016 at 05:36 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  4. #559
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    The Title Is Too Long

    Jack Schitt reported that he had finally gotten over how Peeca and his cousin Dipp spent that weekend decades ago which led to darling Lill popping out nine months later and when Peeca was asked how she felt about Jack she asked, “Jack Who?”

    Forgiveness is best some have said
    And forgetting will come when you’re dead
    Unless you live on
    After they say you’ve gone
    On to fight in some heaven instead.

  5. #560
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    It always devolves into a fart joke, eh?

    There once was a gal's derrière
    That was high and fine and most fair
    It wiggled and shook
    Drew many a look
    But then expelled an unholy air
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  6. #561
    Registered User Cassie Hughes's Avatar
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    Eyes front!

    Is it time to lay behinds to rest
    and let owls snooze away in their nests
    Here's to more fragrant musings
    with which to show some things
    are often ignored for the best.

  7. #562
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    We Can't Be Trusted

    The lady is right--I'll be blunt.
    For loftier themes must we hunt:
    Of angel and fairy
    In bright uplands airy;
    Just don't make us rhyme with "eyes front."
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 08-11-2016 at 06:14 AM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  8. #563
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    Happy Limerick

    The sky is as blue as it’s sweet
    And the birds up above love to tweet
    And the grass is as green
    As this limerick’s clean
    Bathed in sky from its head to its feet.

  9. #564
    Registered User Cassie Hughes's Avatar
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    Cheers!

    Now its good to see sky that is blue,
    But I prefer much darker hues
    For the sky lit at night
    by the stars is a sight
    That calls out for a red wine or two.

  10. #565
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    The problem with ghosts is during the day the sun shines right through them

    While cool night brings a certain contrast
    To hot day since sharp shadows have passed
    Into darker delights,
    Weary worries and frights,
    But loose ghosts, hopefully, will not last.

  11. #566
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Either that or Snyder stepped on a duck

    There once was a fellow named Snyder
    Had a gal and walked alongside her
    But Snyder was crass
    Possessed little class
    With his Rocky Mountain Barking Spider
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  12. #567
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    Relax, even skunks let one every now and then

    There are plenty of fauna to blame
    When that fart makes a sound you can’t tame.
    There is nowhere to hide
    When the smell reeks inside
    But why hide when the dog does the same?

  13. #568
    Registered User Cassie Hughes's Avatar
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    What's a dog to do?

    There once was a man undecided
    whose dog raced along quite lopsided
    For his poor little paws
    couldn't keep up, because
    of the jet power his owner provided.

  14. #569
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    It is hard to disappoint a dog

    A dog is so faithful and true
    Even when you are bad he’s not blue,
    But his tail will be wagging,
    To his friends he’ll be bragging
    That he’s proud he belongs to just you.
    Last edited by YesNo; 08-16-2016 at 08:01 AM.

  15. #570
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Shorty's partial to The Bull, Schlitz Malt Liquor that is

    There once was a fellow named Morty
    On the street with his dog Shorty
    He called girls "Honey"
    Asked them for money
    All so's he could afford a forty
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

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