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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #481
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    It’s the 4th of July, I’m in an airport and I can’t think of anything better than this to write

    The internet’s slower than piss.
    I’m waiting and waiting like this:
    When I click on a link,
    Take a dump I would think
    The page loaded but that would be bliss.

  2. #482
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Safe trip, YN.

    There was a First Lady named Clinton
    Who had federal G-men asquintin'
    At reams of the email
    Concealed by this female
    In national service unstintin'.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  3. #483
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    I wonder why so many presidents have the same last name

    Landed! Thanks, PB.

    The Clintons are trying to show,
    Like the Bushes--It’s time we all know--
    We’re a monarchy still
    And each dynasty will
    Switch out actors each four years or so.

  4. #484
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    I wonder what Wilber and Orville would think of the TSA

    There once was a fellow named Wilber
    With his brother, an aircraft builder
    Flew at Kitty Hawk
    Somewhat less than Mach
    To them O'Hare would bewilder
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  5. #485
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    My daughter called her cat “Caitlin” or “Cat” for short or “Crazy Cat” for long

    That cat thinks my mouse is for real
    And the keyboard’s for walking on. She’ll
    Drive her claws in my arms
    Plop her plump body’s charms
    On my hand make me click on some deal.

  6. #486
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    B-i-n-g-o

    I once had a dog named Bingo
    Who possibly was part dingo
    He'd howl at the moon
    From midnight till noon
    Whilst I tried to decrypt his lingo
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  7. #487
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Nice one, Sanch!

    There once was a stallion named Ed;
    He's glue now: I fear he's long dead.
    But back in the day
    When "W-I-I-I-I-LBUR" he'd say,
    How nature and art would be wed!
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 07-11-2016 at 12:13 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  8. #488
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    Pets are sometimes better than people

    Lassie is loyal and true.
    For a dog she does what she can do.
    She’s more faithful than girls
    With their big eyes and curls
    And a boy loves his dog better, too.

  9. #489
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    There once was a canine called Lassie
    Whose instincts were keen and bark sassy.
    She competed with Laugh-In
    And was given the gaff in
    Respect to Miss Goldie Hawn's chassis.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  10. #490
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    It means "Howdy" in dog lingo

    Thx, PB, I'm just trying to keep up with you and Y/N.

    There once was a dog named Old Yeller
    A right fine yet forward type of feller
    Had a girl named Rover
    When she'd come over
    He'd go behind her just to smell her
    Last edited by Sancho; 07-11-2016 at 11:45 PM.
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  11. #491
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    The problem with swans is they figure anything that drops out of their bills is for the fish to eat

    There once were some swans who loved fish.
    They would feed them right out of their dish.
    Course it had to fall out
    Of swan bills, slosh about
    In the water till fish got their wish.

  12. #492
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    There were three beneficent swans:
    Who, of fish, grew exceedingly fond.
    They shared them their sup
    Then gobbled them up
    And mused, "Ah, tis too bad their gone!"
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 07-12-2016 at 12:13 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  13. #493
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    A swan gets a virus and dies;
    A perch comes and picks out its eyes.
    The bird's final wishes
    Were "Feed the damn fishes,
    But please stop your saccharin lies."
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 07-13-2016 at 12:49 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  14. #494
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    A sign of a shaky piece: One has to explain and apologize, but here goes...I chose a "lymerick lover" to be the protag of the "bad poet who is in love" theme for a forum prompt, the flash pieces due this Friday. Who knows maybe spotting this thread on the forum inspired this. Anywho, the "bad poet" can either be a poet who sucks as a poet or a poet who is bad because he does evil. I chose the former. So, for a little fun, my guy has flown from the U.S. to England a couple of times somehow managing to figure out his flight crew so he may be with the object of his low grade crush, a beautiful flight attendant. Here goes (This is a very pale imitation of Edward Lear whom I used to read all the time to my son. I love the nonsense stuff. The imitation is so pale, but it's the love that counts. I hope.)

    Lymerick lover:

    There once was a man of Shalott
    Whose love had given him the hots.
    So away with her he ran til they put him in the can,
    Oh that poor old man of Shalott.

    After enduring this and well as some aggressive passes, the poor flight attendant/love interest finds an emergency limerick pack in the seat back pocket, a pack a thoughtful crew member had given her to help her through this pass. She gave him this:

    Good luck with your trip cross the pond.
    Of you I never was fond.
    But you'll be home soon
    And you'll stay there marooned,
    No love after your trip cross the pond.
    Last edited by heartwing; 07-12-2016 at 09:07 PM.
    “What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.” ― Muriel Rukeyser
    (image: walking by crilleb50, deviantArt)

  15. #495
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Very nice, hw!

    There once was a love unrequited:
    One blossom was flush, one was blighted.
    A curse of the pharaohs
    On the boy with the arrows
    To smile on his mischief, delighted.
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 07-12-2016 at 09:10 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

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