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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #811
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    The Limerick Aeneid

    Canto I

    Of arms and the man I sing!
    Great Virgil said some such damn thing.
    That ol' Trojan horse trick
    All for some divorced chick,
    And ten thousand lives for a fling.

    Canto II

    Aeneas fell headlong for Dido
    Till fate made it hasta luego.
    She burned herself up
    And now lives with that pup,
    Dread Cerberus, the three-headed Fido.

    Canto ZZZ

    Ascanius something, snore, snore,
    On lovely Lavinia's shore.
    Thank God it's unfinished--
    I'd need Popeye's spinach
    To get through the rest of this bore!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  2. #812
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Canto ZZZ

    Ascanius something, snore, snore,
    On lovely Lavinia's shore.
    Thank God it's unfinished--
    I'd need Popeye's spinach
    To get through the rest of this bore!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  3. #813
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Kissing Manual

    A kiss is a kind of contraction:
    It's labial--that sort of action.
    Now, don't screw the pooch,
    You just pucker and smooch,
    Swallow spit, yeah that's it! Satisfaction!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  4. #814
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    What Every Young Man Should Know About Hand Holding

    Hand holding requires some dexterity
    Or else it devolves into parody.
    In case of the fidgets
    Just rewrap those digits:
    Perhaps you'll be kissed out of charity.

    Hand holding requires special patience;
    It's always far best to be gracious:
    Just say, "Sorry, Betty,
    Your palms are too sweaty,
    But it's lovely to make your acquaintance."

    Hand holding requires a commitment;
    One readies genetic equipment.
    If the lady says, "Go!"
    But her pinkies say no,
    It's better to cancel the shipment.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  5. #815
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Love this!


    Its funny ... cuz today I say a very senior couple holding hands It was so precious. And then I read these lines... awesome timing.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  6. #816
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    I’m pretty sure Floyd was in the woods at the time

    There once was a fellow named Floyd
    Whose diet was fiber devoid
    He grunted and strained
    His bowel constrained
    And so begat a colossal ‘roid
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cos I speak of the pompatus of love

  7. #817
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Public Health Education

    There was a young lady named Lola
    Who didn't know sh*t from Sh*nola.
    She gave boots a buff
    With the wrong sort of stuff
    And died of infectious Ebola.

    My goodness that's a depressing one. What's wrong with me today?
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  8. #818
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    There was a man named Freud
    who thought he could see into
    the void,he looked so hard
    and fast, bent over and
    disappeared up his ***!
    Warmest regards michael.
    I know nothing,and that is ALL.

  9. #819
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Nice work, but it could use another line. Something like:

    There once was a fellow called Freud
    Who bent over to peer in the void.
    He spun round so fast,
    He gazed into his *ss
    And diagnosed himself paranoid.

    We'll put both our names on that one.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  10. #820
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    Nice work, but it could use another line. Something like:

    There once was a fellow called Freud
    Who bent over to peer in the void.
    He spun round so fast,
    He gazed into his *ss
    And diagnosed himself paranoid.

    We'll put both our names on that one.
    That added line was excellent, thank you for that Pompey Bum.
    regards Michael.
    I know nothing,and that is ALL.

  11. #821
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Or how about this. The imagery is less confusing. And the meter's better, too.

    There once was a fellow called Freud
    Who bent down to peer in the void.
    He tumbled so fast
    He gazed into his *ss
    And diagnosed himself paranoid.

    Yes, that's definitely how it goes. We'll share the profits 50-50.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  12. #822
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
    Who pulled off that ol' magic hat trick:
    With his buddy the bunny
    He wrote Limericks funny
    On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 05-16-2018 at 09:15 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  13. #823
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
    Who gave that ol' magic hat trick:
    With his buddy the bunny
    He wrote Limericks funny
    On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.
    That was absolutely great pompey bum, you are now my very best chum, if we ever meet up I will buy you a rum!
    Get drunk and call Freud a bit fat phoney bum!
    warmest regards Michael.
    I know nothing,and that is ALL.

  14. #824
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
    Who pulled off that ol' magic hat trick:
    With his buddy the bunny
    He wrote Limericks funny
    On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.
    Loved it!
    I missed this thread.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  15. #825
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    There once was a chap
    called pompey bum
    who with his mate
    and chum,went
    to see a ship, had
    a Freudian slip
    and found themselves
    adrift in a slum.
    regards Michael.
    I know nothing,and that is ALL.

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