Lymerick

[Pompey Bum]

Canto I

Of arms and the man I sing!
Great Virgil said some such damn thing.
That ol' Trojan horse trick
All for some divorced chick,
And ten thousand lives for a fling.

Canto II

Aeneas fell headlong for Dido
Till fate made it hasta luego.
She burned herself up
And now lives with that pup,
Dread Cerberus, the three-headed Fido.

Canto ZZZ

Ascanius something, snore, snore,
On lovely Lavinia's shore.
Thank God it's unfinished--
I'd need Popeye's spinach
To get through the rest of this bore!

[kiz_paws]

Canto ZZZ

Ascanius something, snore, snore,
On lovely Lavinia's shore.
Thank God it's unfinished--
I'd need Popeye's spinach
To get through the rest of this bore!

[Pompey Bum]

A kiss is a kind of contraction:
It's labial--that sort of action.
Now, don't screw the pooch,
You just pucker and smooch,
Swallow spit, yeah that's it! Satisfaction!

[Pompey Bum]

Hand holding requires some dexterity
Or else it devolves into parody.
In case of the fidgets
Just rewrap those digits:
Perhaps you'll be kissed out of charity.

Hand holding requires special patience;
It's always far best to be gracious:
Just say, "Sorry, Betty,
Your palms are too sweaty,
But it's lovely to make your acquaintance."

Hand holding requires a commitment;
One readies genetic equipment.
If the lady says, "Go!"
But her pinkies say no,
It's better to cancel the shipment.

[kiz_paws]

Love this!


Its funny ... cuz today I say a very senior couple holding hands It was so precious. And then I read these lines... awesome timing.

[Sancho]

There once was a fellow named Floyd
Whose diet was fiber devoid
He grunted and strained
His bowel constrained
And so begat a colossal ‘roid

[Pompey Bum]

There was a young lady named Lola
Who didn't know sh*t from Sh*nola.
She gave boots a buff
With the wrong sort of stuff
And died of infectious Ebola.

My goodness that's a depressing one. What's wrong with me today?

[M Kirkpatrick]

There was a man named Freud
who thought he could see into
the void,he looked so hard
and fast, bent over and
disappeared up his ***!
Warmest regards michael.

[Pompey Bum]

Nice work, but it could use another line. Something like:

There once was a fellow called Freud
Who bent over to peer in the void.
He spun round so fast,
He gazed into his *ss
And diagnosed himself paranoid.

We'll put both our names on that one.

[M Kirkpatrick]

Nice work, but it could use another line. Something like:

There once was a fellow called Freud
Who bent over to peer in the void.
He spun round so fast,
He gazed into his *ss
And diagnosed himself paranoid.

We'll put both our names on that one.

That added line was excellent, thank you for that Pompey Bum.
regards Michael.

[Pompey Bum]

Or how about this. The imagery is less confusing. And the meter's better, too.

There once was a fellow called Freud
Who bent down to peer in the void.
He tumbled so fast
He gazed into his *ss
And diagnosed himself paranoid.

Yes, that's definitely how it goes. We'll share the profits 50-50.

[Pompey Bum]

There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
Who pulled off that ol' magic hat trick:
With his buddy the bunny
He wrote Limericks funny
On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.

[M Kirkpatrick]

There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
Who gave that ol' magic hat trick:
With his buddy the bunny
He wrote Limericks funny
On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.

That was absolutely great pompey bum, you are now my very best chum, if we ever meet up I will buy you a rum!
Get drunk and call Freud a bit fat phoney bum!
warmest regards Michael.

[kiz_paws]

There once was a chap named Kirkpatrick
Who pulled off that ol' magic hat trick:
With his buddy the bunny
He wrote Limericks funny
On Sigmund, that quack psychiatric.

Loved it!
I missed this thread.

[M Kirkpatrick]

There once was a chap
called pompey bum
who with his mate
and chum,went
to see a ship, had
a Freudian slip
and found themselves
adrift in a slum.
regards Michael.