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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #841
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    The Riddle of the Sphynx

    I met a voluptuous sphinx
    Who posed a sly riddle, the minx;
    She loosened her bodice
    Then posed like a goddess
    And asked what a gentleman thinks.

    "One thinks," I began, "thou art pretty,
    And thy boobs not at all itty-bitty,
    But, be they so pert,
    Keep 'em, please, in thy shirt,
    For I'm bound by a husband's chass-titty."

    She fluttered her tail in respect,
    And she clawed a few fleas from her neck.
    Then she knocked off her jive
    And she ate me alive--
    For my answer was wrong, I suspect.
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 07-11-2018 at 02:15 PM.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  2. #842
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    Hilarious, especially the third verse...

  3. #843
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    The Riddle of the Sphynx

    I met a voluptuous sphinx
    Who posed a sly riddle, the minx;
    She loosened her bodice
    Then posed like a goddess
    And asked what a gentleman thinks.

    "One thinks," I began, "thou art pretty,"
    And thy boobs not at all itty-bitty,
    But, be they so pert,
    Keep 'em, please, in thy shirt,
    For I'm bound by a husband's chass-titty.

    She fluttered her tail in respect,
    And she clawed a few fleas from her neck.
    Then she knocked off her jive
    And she ate me alive--
    For my answer was wrong, I suspect.
    Hilarious and oh so witty!!
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  4. #844
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Thank you, DW and Kiz. I suggested to Cacian that a hungry sphinx would be an interesting metaphor for sexual love, then I liked the idea so much I thought I would try it myself. I'm glad you liked it.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  5. #845
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    The Riddle of the Sphynx

    I met a voluptuous sphinx
    Who posed a sly riddle, the minx;
    She loosened her bodice
    Then posed like a goddess
    And asked what a gentleman thinks.

    "One thinks," I began, "thou art pretty,"
    And thy boobs not at all itty-bitty,
    But, be they so pert,
    Keep 'em, please, in thy shirt,
    For I'm bound by a husband's chass-titty.

    She fluttered her tail in respect,
    And she clawed a few fleas from her neck.
    Then she knocked off her jive
    And she ate me alive--
    For my answer was wrong, I suspect.
    Haha excellent stuff Pompey I did not realise you wrote lymericks I am so useless at it.
    very well executed and a lot of fun
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  6. #846
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Thanks, Cacian.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  7. #847
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    The X-Factor Audition

    There once was a girl from St. Cloud
    of whose voice, was rather quite proud
    but the judges could tell
    that her voice was from H3LL
    so that loud gal got cowed by the crowd
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  8. #848
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Shhhhhhhh! (no, really)

    Quote Originally Posted by kiz_paws View Post
    Each day I awake with a start
    and its not with the sound of a lark
    its those feverish crows
    bellowing their woes
    that my interest in guns is now sparked...

    *sigh*
    There once was a lassie named Paws
    Who shot her a flock of jackdaws.
    I was really quite shocked
    For the dears only squawked:
    Let's be sure to keep down our applause.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  9. #849
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha ha!

    Excellent!

    But you know, if you were having your coffee on the patio with that racket going on.... who knows where your mind will wander....
    Just sayin'...
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  10. #850
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    I think that its time, but be quick
    to write yet another lym'rick
    rhymes come without bidding
    yeah, who am I kidding
    the trick of the wit makes me sick**


    **meaning SICK of agonizing over something quippy... *sigh*
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

  11. #851
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Give a kiss to our sis, Mistress Kizzy,
    Whose verses keep nurses quite busy.
    She says she gets sick,
    But that's vertigo's trick:
    Tis the depth of her wit makes her dizzy.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  12. #852
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Joseph Gerbil's Midlife Crisis

    There once was a gerbil named Joe,
    Or a hamster or rat, I don't know.
    He spent his days running
    With terrible cunning;
    He thought he'd get somewhere--mais non.

    One day Joseph jumped down from his wheel,
    And he thought, "Okay now, what's the deal?
    My lifelong endeavor
    Has furthered me never."
    And he stormed and he raged (okay, squealed).

    That night Joseph escaped his terrarium,
    But he fell in a neighboring aquarium.
    I found the poor pup
    Floating there belly up,
    And I thought that I really should bury him.

    And yet Joseph survived his ordeal
    And returned to his plexiglass jail,
    Embracing his lot
    With the gerbilish thought
    Of accepting life's woe with its weal.

    Here ends my ridiculous verse:
    I confess that I've written none worse.
    Joe lived through his crisis
    Having paid dreadful prices.
    You've paid aught, critic, spare me your curse.
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  13. #853
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Dental Floss

    Well, my last doggerel got such rave reviews I thought you folks must want more. Say something nice about it or I'll post a third one. ;-)

    Dental Floss

    If you want to show teeth who's the boss,
    Try Hygiene's great pal, dental floss.
    When once a tooth's garroted,
    The rest may be parroted:
    All hail halitosis's loss!

    Yes, the wisers' incisors will whiten
    When that handy strand they deign to tighten.
    If you'll ply on the paste
    With the peppermint taste,
    Like a snowfall your pie hole will brighten!

    Oh, you'll bare every bicuspid gaily
    With a smile to beguile all sans failing
    If you give what you owe
    To that dental duo,
    Those minty twins, Brush and Floss Daily!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  14. #854
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    Well, my last doggerel got such rave reviews I thought you folks must want more. Say something nice about it or I'll post a third one. ;-)
    YOU WERE WARNED.

    Avocado Joy

    Today I ate three avocado
    (The third one was only bravado).
    It's the new green new deal,
    You just ripen and peel.
    Avocado, say I, obligato!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

  15. #855
    The Gnu Normal Pompey Bum's Avatar
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    Avocado Joy II

    Avocados again find my favor.
    O bean! Thou give'st greenness a flavor.
    I gulp down thy mushiness
    With esophag'al pushiness:
    Was there ever such savor? No nayver!
    And this from a man in a bunny suit.

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