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Thread: Can boys and girls be friends?

  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by amalia1985 View Post
    I only speak from my own experience and I believe that yes, they can be friends. Two of my best friends are boys, and sometimes they prove themselves to be much more sincere than girls.
    Oh, come on! Girls are sincere in a ... girlish way! that mutable, inconstant and rainy way.

    Men are what they are. Girls are one thing on a day, and a complete different being in the following day ... Unless you pull the "yesterday girl" back to real life ... haha!

    [Whenever possible!]


    librarius
    Last edited by librarius_qui; 11-08-2008 at 10:53 AM. Reason: "whenever"

  2. #152
    an ambitious heart romantic novel's Avatar
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    To me ..I think it is hard to be a friend with a friend of the opposite sex without ..one of the 2 attract to the other
    Love is an un tamed force. When we try to control it, it desrtoys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused

  3. #153
    Serious business Taliesin's Avatar
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    Duh!
    Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.
    If you believe even a half of this post, you are severely mistaken.

  4. #154
    an ambitious heart romantic novel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taliesin View Post
    duh!
    Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.

    heheheheheheheh


    Exactly
    Last edited by romantic novel; 11-09-2008 at 02:02 PM.

  5. #155
    Procrastinator General *Classic*Charm*'s Avatar
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    so romantic novel and taliesin, are you both saying that you've never had a platonic friendship with a person on the opposite sex?
    I'm weary with right-angles, abbreviated daylight,
    Waiting for a winter to be done.
    Why do I still see you in every mirrored window,
    In all that I could never overcome?

  6. #156
    The Ghost of Laszlo Jamf islandclimber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by *Classic*Charm* View Post
    so romantic novel and taliesin, are you both saying that you've never had a platonic friendship with a person on the opposite sex?
    that's what it sounds like.. Unless they fit into one of the categories mentioned above hahah

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by amalia1985 View Post
    Two of my best friends are boys, and sometimes they prove themselves to be much more sincere than girls.
    I have found this to be true in many cases of people that I have been friends with. I have had a lot of guy friends. I just tend to get along better with guys.

  8. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taliesin View Post
    Duh!
    Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.
    well, it's always good to hear a different opinion!

    ...


    a klicky

  9. #159
    Nightowl Domer121's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taliesin View Post
    Duh!
    Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.
    I love this! ^^

    I tend to think that is true....because the thing about friends from the opposite sex is that they are usually the rebound when a relationship fails.. and if the other friend doesn't feel the same way hearts can be broken...

    That is not to say that guys and gals can't be friends....its just a lot more complicated.

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domer121 View Post
    I love this! ^^

    I tend to think that is true....because the thing about friends from the opposite sex is that they are usually the rebound when a relationship fails.. and if the other friend doesn't feel the same way hearts can be broken...

    That is not to say that guys and gals can't be friends....its just a lot more complicated.
    The breaking heart situation's very common. Reciprocity is many times expected, and not as many times achieved. (I got hurt a lot of times ...) Then I learnt not to fall for whatever girl drops by. (I hope!) (I'm kidding ... I did learn something, otherwise I'd be dead, I think ...)

    This is why I spoke about putting a barrier ...

    I fell for a girl, once, and she did wish (and managed) us to become just friends. I can't say I wasn't hurt, for a while, but it was wise of her, because she's much younger than me. I don't know if it would have been good (not talking about sex ...) to have gotten involved with her in my feelings ... So, it's a relief, now, that nothing actually happened between me and her, 'cause now I can still be her friend. But, if she allows me in, in the occasion, and then dumps me away ... Hey, then I'd have been really injured.

    I avoid doing this with my friends of the opposite sex that I know that can let their feelings for me to grow beyond what I can correspond.

    Reciprocity is very important in life and relationships. Including with a community, for example. I'd never be here if I had been rejected here. I make part of forums where I'm somehow, welcome. I've been to two from which I went away, because they weren't friendly places (with me, at least). It happens. It's part of life.


    "Le petit"


    Quote Originally Posted by librarius_qui View Post

    At the moment, I'm ... in a possible beginning with another friend. Hope is true, and all I can do is to hope, but ... If it goes, it'll do fine. I hope it goes!

    Lets see ...
    Well ... It DIDN'T go. & We decided to be just friends.
    If it does with her, it ... ay, has to do with me. (As a matter of respect. Not easy, but I feel I need to respect other people's feelings. When a girl likes you she likes you. When she doesn't, it's time to move on! I wanna girl who likes me, not one who keeps thinking about it.)


    & I'm alive!
    So ... Just friends.
    And she'll be among the best ones. That's good!~



  11. #161
    Beautant Lily Adams's Avatar
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    I have this GREAT friend who is a guy. I don't know what I'd do without him. Whether we ever get together or not is another thing...but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Which is fine with me. I don't really have feelings for him that way. He really is one of the best friends I've ever had, though.


    Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

  12. #162
    Serious business Taliesin's Avatar
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    Okay, on a more serious note.

    There are people you are sexually attracted to.
    There are people you can or have fallen in love with.
    There are people you find aesthetically good-looking.
    There are people you're friends with.
    These categories might overlap and they often do, but they are different categories.

    The question is a bit difficult to understand for me, being bisexual - what is meant here? That it is difficult to become friends and only friends with people that are in your "target group"? I don't know how it is for straight people, but I am not sexually attracted to everyone - and that means that there are a lot of people with whom it is "safe" to be friends - no sexual tension there, although they are, well, humans. Although there also might be the risk of falling in love, when you become very deeply involved with them.
    Concerning the people you are sexually attracted to, yes, it is somewhat more difficult, but well, human relations are difficult.

    But concerning people you don't feel sexually attracted to, yes, you can be friends, gender doesn't matter.
    Shouldn't the question be rephrased as: "Can people who feel or can feel sexually attracted to each other be friends?"
    If you believe even a half of this post, you are severely mistaken.

  13. #163
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taliesin View Post
    But concerning people you don't feel sexually attracted to, yes, you can be friends, gender doesn't matter.
    Shouldn't the question be rephrased as: "Can people who feel or can feel sexually attracted to each other be friends?"
    thanks for your well thought out answer, Tal.
    I totally agree with you. I do not feel sexually attracted to everyone either, but some people seem to think that one must automatically be attracted to anyone of the opposite sex (in the case of heterosexual ppl). For example, I have a friend who does not have any guy friends and whenever she talks to a guy she starts checking whether he "ticks all the right boxes". She simply cannot be friends with any guy. This girl is an extreme example, because her mind's totally muddled anyway, but lots of people seem to think that whenever you say as much as "Hello" to someone of the opposite sex, it's a pick up line. I find this really confusing, because I've got a handful of guy friends with whom there is no sexual tension whatsoever.

  14. #164
    Registered User kratsayra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taliesin View Post
    There are people you are sexually attracted to.
    There are people you can or have fallen in love with.
    There are people you find aesthetically good-looking.
    There are people you're friends with.
    These categories might overlap and they often do, but they are different categories.
    I think a lot of these categories kind-of overlap in various ways all the time. Except maybe not the fall in love part, at least not for me.

    Maybe I'm like Sleepy's "muddled" friend, I don't know. But I can pretty much end up being at least somewhat attracted to almost anyone that I spend enough time with . . . Since I'm straight for most general purposes, in the case of girls that means finding them aesthetically good-looking and in the case of guys that means something that could feel more like a crush, even if it usually isn't all-out sexual attraction. Once I get to know a person emotionally/mentally/whatever, I usually end up recognizing more of their physical beauty too. Because pretty much everyone is beautiful in some way.

    I have had a handful of male friends who it seems like I could only ever just be friends with them. But even them, I can very much appreciate the way they look and things like that. Not that there is sexual tension necessarily.

    You know, this topic has been on my mind recently. Cause I want to hang out more with this married guy friend of mine. But I feel like he feels a little bit uncomfortable about it. I do have a crush on him, but I'm in a relationship too. I have no intentions of that sort. I just want to spend time with him cause he's an awesome person. But I feel like the fact we are both in relationships seems to be getting in the way. And it's frustrating.
    Last edited by kratsayra; 12-14-2008 at 07:07 PM.

  15. #165
    liber vermicula Bitterfly's Avatar
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    Yes, that's why it's so difficult to be friends with someone of the opposite sex! Not only do signals get sometimes confused, but one's partner tends to get a wee bit jealous!! It seems to happen to me a lot, and that's why I tend to discourage people from the opposite sex when I'm in a couple, which is a pity because I quite enjoy their company.

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