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Thread: Can boys and girls be friends?

  1. #136
    it is what it is. . . billyjack's Avatar
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    a great question. i've had many an ex-girlfriend who says some guy is "just a friend." Biz-markie's song "just a friend" can tell you better than i. but i'd say yes, a friendship can exist--as long as at least 1 of the 2 isnt physically attracted to the other
    Last edited by billyjack; 11-06-2008 at 11:48 AM.

  2. #137
    an ambitious heart romantic novel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by billyjack View Post
    a great question. i've had many an ex-girlfriend who says some guy is "just a friend." Biz-markie's song "just a friend" can tell you better than i. but i'd say yes, a friendship can exist--as long as at least 1 of the 2 isnt physically attracted to the other


    Thanks for sharing us your opinion..


    But again..if there is 1 of the 2 is physically attracted to the other...the Friendship is no more friendship...here LOVE & SEXUAL DESIRE will be the dominant part of the relation..


    This leads to the round Q..is it possible to be friends with guys??
    Love is an un tamed force. When we try to control it, it desrtoys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused

  3. #138
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    can there be "love" between guys and girls who don't feel attracted?
    there's this guy I know and I tell anyone who cares to know (and lots of people who don't) that "love" him, but I don't fancy him. Ok, I admit I feel attracted to him for half a second two times a year, but that's the long and short of it.
    I can get extremely nasty when people diss me about him and assume I fancy him and have "dumped" a close friend because she dissed me about him. So I guess that means I care a lot about him.

    so, does "love" between ppl of the opposite sexes necessarily have to be sexual? can there be so-called"platonic" love?

  4. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    hope this hasn't been done before:
    can boys and girls/ women and men be friends, esp. when one of them is single? or will one of them start to romance the other sooner or later?
    Oh, god! Please, yes! Of course!

    I hope!




    librarius

  5. #140
    Loves Poetry Silven's Avatar
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    I have many female friends, however I am also married, and I cannot speculate about what might happen if I were single????

    Run the numbers - I don't think anyone could have a meaningful relationship with every woman they may socialize with...

    This leads me to believe that yes - it is possible for Women and Men to share friendship, without the "relationship" factoring into it.

    This does not include sexual attraction tho'. Thoughts are just thoughts, and mentally undressing a "friend" of the opposite sex, should remain where it belongs - in your head!

  6. #141
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    I had two girlfriends. Only the first one was a friend BEFORE a girlfriend. The second girlfriend was (one of) the worst mistake in my life!, can't figure out up to this day what the blast was that! (I loved her best friend, by then ... But, in a way, I was better friend to her ...)

    Yes, a man can be friend of a girl without going into something more. I'm single, and have at least two friends about my age, to whom, if I wasn't sure about them being only friends, and of me not willing anything more than friendship with them, I'd get trapped into feelings.

    I put the barrier. Women get ... sticky, sometimes. You have to say "Hey!: only friends, here! Count on me, but ...~"

    My first girlfriend was a friend before we getting involved. It was nice, and however it didn't work out, I prefer this way, and time passed on, healed injuries, and we're now (only) good friends again. But I have to put the barrier, to myself as well: "Hey!: only friends!" Don't wanna fall into the same trap no, not again!

    At the moment, I'm ... in a possible beginning with another friend. Hope is true, and all I can do is to hope, but ... If it goes, it'll do fine. I hope it goes!

    Lets see ...

    But, my answer is yes, a boy and a girl, a man and a woman CAN be just friends.

    Thats what I think!


  7. #142
    Procrastinator General *Classic*Charm*'s Avatar
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    A friend of mine took a human sexuality course last year where she was taught that our personalities tend to have us either as

    a) people who have good friends that turn into relationships, or
    b) people who could never form a relationship with an established friend

    She was taught that there are very specific parameters within which one develops a (more than friendly) relationship, based on the individual's personality (here I use "personality: loosely- there were specifics I don't remember). From experience with myself and my friends, this is pretty true, which leads to my firm belief that one can have a friend of the opposite sex without the friendship leading to intimacy.
    I'm weary with right-angles, abbreviated daylight,
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    Why do I still see you in every mirrored window,
    In all that I could never overcome?

  8. #143
    MOST HANDSOME TheInsomniac's Avatar
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    Im 17, recently finished high school, and i attain many relationships with girls from my school. Just normal friendly relationships, i am not attracted to any of them, however beautiful they may be. What im attracted to is a down to earth personality that young girls tend to dismiss this day and age.

    I think it is possible for the two sexes to be friends, its just that in most cases either the male or female will fall for the other. I have had this happen in many cases and needed to have some long talks to my female friends >_<, one which i have known since birth!

    From my experience, i find that men fall in love more easily than women. My personality dictates to others that i dont care about aesthetics and that human relationships are not a sole source of happiness, i have more of an 'older brother' kind of love towards most of my female friends, where i try to help them and act as a responsible but fun guy.
    'A bird may love a fish signore, but where would they live?'

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    I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

  9. #144
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    why is "something more" called "something more"?

  10. #145
    Lady of Smilies Nightshade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    why is "something more" called "something more"?
    COmpletly off topic but sleepy now I have the beauty and the beast song there is somthing there that wasnt there befefore stuck in my mind, dont know how or why that sentance triggered it buit now Im going to be haunted by Beauty and the beast all day thanks !
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  11. #146
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightshade View Post
    COmpletly off topic but sleepy now I have the beauty and the beast song there is somthing there that wasnt there befefore stuck in my mind, dont know how or why that sentance triggered it buit now Im going to be haunted by Beauty and the beast all day thanks !
    yep, that was completely off topic. But thanks for telling us ................................

    so what do you as a staunch anti-romance campaigner think about this, is "something more" necessarily "more" (=better) or is it just different (in some cases)?

  12. #147
    The Ghost of Laszlo Jamf islandclimber's Avatar
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    What a silly question.. Of course boys and girls can be friends.. I have quite a few friends that are girls, in fact most of my close friends are of the opposite sex, I only have a couple good male friends.. I find girls are generally easier to talk to and discuss things with, and to be an artsy kind of guy around.. I only have a couple male friends who are into the arts.. Guys are great for going rock climbing and surfing and snowboarding with, so there I find the inverse is true, only a few of my girlfriends are into that kind of stuff.. I know this is somewhat of a generalization, but for the people I know and associate with, I find it to be the case.. but I have no trouble with being good friends with females... without the desire for anything more ever... Now I can't say whether they feel the same way, but I would think that is the case as I have only ever had a couple problems with that issue of friendship becoming a problem because someone wants more..

    I think people just convince themselves that they cannot be friends with the opposite sex... and I am not sure why..

  13. #148
    Lady of Smilies Nightshade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyWitch View Post
    yep, that was completely off topic. But thanks for telling us ................................

    so what do you as a staunch anti-romance campaigner think about this, is "something more" necessarily "more" (=better) or is it just different (in some cases)?
    IM suprised you rember most people forget , Well its an intresting one and Im sure I posted a nice long quote on the topic once before. Having spent some time thinking about this topic over few months my conclusions are as follows-
    1) I still stick by the idea that "love" is a construct people make to find a nice and tidy explantion for a whole mesh of things ranging from basic attraction trust freindship loyalty commitment and all that blah.
    2) The idea is the main problem it is so easy to talk yourself into things and maybe the idea of 'more' with someone you already trust is attractive as a concept even if when it comes down to it you arent attracted to the person to begin with, just the idea.
    But the personal truth is this Im not really the one to ask, never having had a 'relationship' or even wanted one really- but the other side of the equation is the fact that I first started looking at boys as potetial husband material before my 4th Birthday ( I know the date because of an incedet at my 4th birthday party) and so I guess it somthing that is always in my mind I have a few friends who are boys- and general aquienteces I tend to get on better with males than females generally speaking - but thinking about it none of my freinds fit the boxes of who I want to be married to so no problem I can be friends very easily, ( well barring one glaring exception but hey after 13 years its easy to put aside somthing you know is never going to happen and just get on with being friends ). Mostly them I 'adopt' though and I have been told that my tendecy to 'mother' and class them with my younger sisters ( even in cases when they are 5 years older than me) can be rather annoying- but I cant help it I have a tendency to fuss over anyone who will let.

    Like I said dont know about the more thing except to say that we often build things up to look much more attractive in our minds so somthing differnt almost always seems like it might be somthing better, even when it may turn out to be the exact opposite.


    Edit Did some more thinking and I reliased my defention of 'friend' and most other peoples are very different, maybe it comes from moving around so much but most of my interpersonal relationships are temporary things I tend to move on and not look back too often, but when i have a friend a real friend they are stuck with me forever Im afraid. There isnt very much I wouldnt do for the realtivly small number of people I count as friend friends ( tragically I can only think of 6 that arent actually related to me, and most of them are litnetters ) So maybe you should just discount this whole long ramble.
    Last edited by Nightshade; 11-07-2008 at 03:55 PM.
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  14. #149
    I'm a little teapot WhimsySA's Avatar
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    I admit, I didn't read all the posts, but I did scan through a couple...
    Here's my opinion:
    Guys and girls can be friends. Of course, if you have a "family-type" bond then the thought of getting lovey-dovey with that person is crazy. My current boyfriend and I have actually been forbidden to go out (sorry mom) and we really tried to keep it at "just friends" for that reason, but our bond is so strong that we just can't (we're kind of under cover now). Sometimes it can't be helped, but that doesn't mean that you should stick to friends of the same sex. I personally find it much easier to socialize with boys, perhaps because I'm a little bit of a tom-boy. Most of my friends are guys and I have never had those kinds of feelings for them. Guy friends are great... And if a guy friend of yours tries anything funny you can just smack him on the head and he'll probably still be your friend tomorrow. They tend not to have the Oh-now-I'm-so-broken reaction that girls have

    I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned...

  15. #150
    Searching for..... amalia1985's Avatar
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    I only speak from my own experience and I believe that yes, they can be friends. Two of my best friends are boys, and sometimes they prove themselves to be much more sincere than girls.
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    -Goethe

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