Dream Visit

[flier58]

I wish that I could visit
The stunning forests of Peru,
The glades would be magnificent
When they first came into view.

I'd walk among the ruins
Of a once great civilised race,
Hoping to find some artifacts
Of a people now displaced.

I'd feel a sense of sadness
As I went walking around their tombs,
I'd think about their good times
Which would lift my mood of gloom.



This is another of my evening class pieces. It was after this one that my tutor suggested doing a poem that didn't rhyme.

[Koa]

well personally i think that often the rhyme takes a bir of tension away from a poem...it makes it less dramatic maybe , less 'serious' sometimes... like if I write a very sad poem all rhyming, it wouldnt feel right, it'd feel like a joke... Sure rhyme can fit some topics and some poems, sure it's nice if there are some, but a whole poem rhyming often seems to me to be too 'light'...
Then anyway, if I understood right you're in a course, so maybe the teacher only wanted you to try new styles for a change, or to see what comes out of it..

About your poem, I like the idea and it's very neat, it makes the point very clearly Even if yes, maybe i'd feel it to be more 'gloomy' in the last stanza if it didnt rhyme but it gets the point across anyway...i think...

[amuse]

i dislike rhyme schemes because if the words aren't apt then each line sounds like round pegs in square holes or whatever that saying is. i think in some instances they work quite well, however - carroll and nursery rhymes for example.

but i like how you practically interact with people here and go from the present to the past here:

As I went walking around their tombs,
I'd think about their good times
Which would lift my mood of gloom."

and it's a nice picture that you give to us.

[flier58]

Thanks for your comments, I guess it's the child in me that likes to make poetry rhyme.

[amuse]

well, rhymes work wonderfully for nonsense and all. i love how you can have fun with them - again, i cite carroll (and my big anthology of children's lit) and they are very light-hearted, aren't they.

oh, btw, i used rhyme a month or so ago; i noticed it has a pretty soothing, safe quality to it as well...