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Thread: Japanese Tanka game

  1. #1
    freaky geeky emily655321's Avatar
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    Arrow Japanese Tanka game

    Hiya! Well, I've been nominated to kick this thing off, but before I do -- if you haven't viewed amuse's poll and are like, "Tanks? Tonka? Eh?", I'll provide her description from that thread:


    <<< so the tanka (a.k.a. waka) was really popular into the 1500's - and i always think of my brothers' tonka trucks when i hear this word.
    "The first three lines (kami no ku) usually present an image or thought and the last two lines (shimo no ku) shift the focus to a related idea. We might see this as similar to a sonnet's "turn." - from http://web.njit.edu/~ronkowit/ poets...arch_tanka.html >>>


    For our game this means a 5-7-5-7-7 format. The topic of the poem you write is the one suggested by the last poster (if you don't like it, scram or wait for someone else to use it and post a different one; that's the game, babe). Like the "question" and "this-or-that" threads on the General Chat, you then suggest the topic for the next poster. It should be *different* than the themes you used in your own tanka, and be an image or concept that can be used for the first three lines of their tanka.

    So for example, for mine someone could have said "metal," "jewelry," "blood," etc... "difficult endeavor," "head holes"... you get the idea. And so I write thusly...

    Ten rings on a tray
    Barbells are hard to remove
    My ear is bleeding.
    A warm sting on my eyelids
    The x-ray passing over.


    [Next topic:] .....Glaring sunlight. (Have fun! )
    Last edited by emily655321; 04-18-2004 at 08:25 AM.
    If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall.
    You think I can't fly? Well, you just watch me!

    ~The Dresden Dolls

  2. #2
    now then ;)
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    Eyes blinded by light,
    Shading the sun from my face,
    See nothing clearly,
    The strange shapes keep passing by,
    Like I am not even there.

    NEXT TOPIC: Rain
    There once was a scotsman named Drew
    Who put too much wine in his stew
    He felt a bit drunk
    And fell off his bunk
    And landed smack into his shoe
    ~(C) Ms Niamh Anne King

  3. #3
    freaky geeky emily655321's Avatar
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    Rivulets dazzle
    and dance down each other's backs,
    and my hair itches.
    Stamping the mud off my boots,
    leaving the beauty outside.

    ***************

    the ocean in winter
    If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall.
    You think I can't fly? Well, you just watch me!

    ~The Dresden Dolls

  4. #4
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    kilted exile, when my folks wanted to see the "sound" of music, back in the 70's (i guess) i thought it would look very similar to your post!
    ocean in winter - just the easy ones, right?
    Last edited by amuse; 04-18-2004 at 04:44 PM.
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  5. #5
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    i really like these rivulets.
    Originally posted by emily655321
    ... dazzle
    ...dance down each other's backs,
    sorry this is so cheesy:

    this deluge pounds, boards
    without leave, and freezing gales
    strip us of our warmth
    he loved without mercy i've
    always enjoyed winter storms.

    Next Topic: birds on telephone wires
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  6. #6
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    the restless species
    mumble, scream, whisper, converse
    through thinnest hammocks
    gently swaying with the dance
    of children in their dj's.

    TOPIC: beechwoods in autumn
    Faith is believing what you know ain't so - Mark Twain

    The preachers deal with men of straw, as they are men of straw themselves - Henry David Thoreau

    The way to see faith is to shut the eye of reason - Benjamin Franklin

    The teaching of the church, theoretically astute, is a lie in practice and a compound of vulgar superstitions and sorcery - Leo Tolstoy

  7. #7
    freaky geeky emily655321's Avatar
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    Originally posted by amuse
    i really like these rivulets.
    Thanks And your storm wasn't cheesy, btw. So, beechwoods...

    Silent sentinels,
    arms dripping with new copper;
    staring, not seeing.
    Old boots pick their way through the
    sunlight and soda-fizz world.

    ***************

    the moon
    If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall.
    You think I can't fly? Well, you just watch me!

    ~The Dresden Dolls

  8. #8
    Registered User
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    icon of madness,
    lovers special sun, beaming
    light into raw hearts
    fusing streamflows of dreamy
    feeling, chaotic passion.

    TOPIC: isolation
    Faith is believing what you know ain't so - Mark Twain

    The preachers deal with men of straw, as they are men of straw themselves - Henry David Thoreau

    The way to see faith is to shut the eye of reason - Benjamin Franklin

    The teaching of the church, theoretically astute, is a lie in practice and a compound of vulgar superstitions and sorcery - Leo Tolstoy

  9. #9
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    dank and lightless in
    this closet i burn my nails
    into walls, floors, hearts
    sun shines on dimmed lids black holes
    invert, spit me out deathful.

    *re: 'invert' - poetic license, in major discord with laws of physics
    TOPIC: harvest-time
    Last edited by amuse; 04-19-2004 at 08:31 PM.
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  10. #10
    freaky geeky emily655321's Avatar
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    What else is poetic license for?

    White frost and dawn mist,
    The raw sky snaps blue candy,
    trees whisper with flame.
    Hard frost comes, we celebrate,
    Then heaven harvests the souls.
    If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall.
    You think I can't fly? Well, you just watch me!

    ~The Dresden Dolls

  11. #11
    Registered User
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    Emily,

    you forgot to give a topic.

    Morning's tidy sky
    Sweeps me through busy London
    Dusting down the Sun
    Sending solar energy
    Snaking up and down my spine.

    Topic: anthropocentrism
    Faith is believing what you know ain't so - Mark Twain

    The preachers deal with men of straw, as they are men of straw themselves - Henry David Thoreau

    The way to see faith is to shut the eye of reason - Benjamin Franklin

    The teaching of the church, theoretically astute, is a lie in practice and a compound of vulgar superstitions and sorcery - Leo Tolstoy

  12. #12
    Ever Benevolent and Wise
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    to wake every morn
    we hear the annoying cat
    clamouring for food
    another dear `posession'
    don't forget the affection!

    as first attempt this was hard but I'll get the hang of it ...

    Next topic: schadenfreude

  13. #13
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    den, it's not the easiest style, is it! cute first post
    wow, that's quite a word! oh no


    he doesn't call her
    pipes are frozen the keys are
    snow banked far upstate.
    it's great fun when her frantic
    life slides slowly down her cheeks.

    TOPIC: framed picture(s)
    Last edited by amuse; 04-21-2004 at 02:16 AM.
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  14. #14
    freaky geeky emily655321's Avatar
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    Originally posted by atiguhya padma
    Emily,

    you forgot to give a topic.
    Oh no! Sorry 'bout that.

    Staring from a box,
    False faces frozen in time,
    speckled with hard dust.
    Standing with hands to the wall;
    these faces won't stay level.

    TOPIC (yay ) -- Standing on a cliff.
    If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall.
    You think I can't fly? Well, you just watch me!

    ~The Dresden Dolls

  15. #15
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    She stands on a cliff
    In a shawl, looks out to sea,
    Alone, lost in time
    This was my lovers picture.
    Now she sky-gazes seaward.

    Topic: a train journey
    Last edited by atiguhya padma; 04-21-2004 at 08:33 AM.
    Faith is believing what you know ain't so - Mark Twain

    The preachers deal with men of straw, as they are men of straw themselves - Henry David Thoreau

    The way to see faith is to shut the eye of reason - Benjamin Franklin

    The teaching of the church, theoretically astute, is a lie in practice and a compound of vulgar superstitions and sorcery - Leo Tolstoy

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