Japanese Tanka game

[emily655321]

Hiya! Well, I've been nominated to kick this thing off, but before I do -- if you haven't viewed amuse's poll and are like, "Tanks? Tonka? Eh?", I'll provide her description from that thread:


<<< so the tanka (a.k.a. waka) was really popular into the 1500's - and i always think of my brothers' tonka trucks when i hear this word.
"The first three lines (kami no ku) usually present an image or thought and the last two lines (shimo no ku) shift the focus to a related idea. We might see this as similar to a sonnet's "turn." - from http://web.njit.edu/~ronkowit/ poets...arch_tanka.html >>>


For our game this means a 5-7-5-7-7 format. The topic of the poem you write is the one suggested by the last poster (if you don't like it, scram or wait for someone else to use it and post a different one; that's the game, babe). Like the "question" and "this-or-that" threads on the General Chat, you then suggest the topic for the next poster. It should be *different* than the themes you used in your own tanka, and be an image or concept that can be used for the first three lines of their tanka.

So for example, for mine someone could have said "metal," "jewelry," "blood," etc... "difficult endeavor," "head holes"... you get the idea. And so I write thusly...

Ten rings on a tray
Barbells are hard to remove
My ear is bleeding.
A warm sting on my eyelids
The x-ray passing over.


[Next topic:] .....Glaring sunlight. (Have fun! )

[kilted exile]

Eyes blinded by light,
Shading the sun from my face,
See nothing clearly,
The strange shapes keep passing by,
Like I am not even there.

NEXT TOPIC: Rain

[emily655321]

Rivulets dazzle
and dance down each other's backs,
and my hair itches.
Stamping the mud off my boots,
leaving the beauty outside.

***************

the ocean in winter

[amuse]

kilted exile, when my folks wanted to see the "sound" of music, back in the 70's (i guess) i thought it would look very similar to your post!
ocean in winter - just the easy ones, right?

[amuse]

i really like these rivulets.

Originally posted by emily655321
... dazzle
...dance down each other's backs,

sorry this is so cheesy:

this deluge pounds, boards
without leave, and freezing gales
strip us of our warmth
he loved without mercy i've
always enjoyed winter storms.

Next Topic: birds on telephone wires

[atiguhya padma]

the restless species
mumble, scream, whisper, converse
through thinnest hammocks
gently swaying with the dance
of children in their dj's.

TOPIC: beechwoods in autumn

[emily655321]

Originally posted by amuse
i really like these rivulets.

Thanks And your storm wasn't cheesy, btw. So, beechwoods...

Silent sentinels,
arms dripping with new copper;
staring, not seeing.
Old boots pick their way through the
sunlight and soda-fizz world.

***************

the moon

[atiguhya padma]

icon of madness,
lovers special sun, beaming
light into raw hearts
fusing streamflows of dreamy
feeling, chaotic passion.

TOPIC: isolation

[amuse]

dank and lightless in
this closet i burn my nails
into walls, floors, hearts
sun shines on dimmed lids black holes
invert, spit me out deathful.

*re: 'invert' - poetic license, in major discord with laws of physics
TOPIC: harvest-time

[emily655321]

What else is poetic license for?

White frost and dawn mist,
The raw sky snaps blue candy,
trees whisper with flame.
Hard frost comes, we celebrate,
Then heaven harvests the souls.

[atiguhya padma]

Emily,

you forgot to give a topic.

Morning's tidy sky
Sweeps me through busy London
Dusting down the Sun
Sending solar energy
Snaking up and down my spine.

Topic: anthropocentrism

[den]

to wake every morn
we hear the annoying cat
clamouring for food
another dear `posession'
don't forget the affection!

as first attempt this was hard but I'll get the hang of it ...

Next topic: schadenfreude

[amuse]

den, it's not the easiest style, is it! cute first post
wow, that's quite a word! oh no


he doesn't call her
pipes are frozen the keys are
snow banked far upstate.
it's great fun when her frantic
life slides slowly down her cheeks.

TOPIC: framed picture(s)

[emily655321]

Originally posted by atiguhya padma
Emily,

you forgot to give a topic.

Oh no! Sorry 'bout that.

Staring from a box,
False faces frozen in time,
speckled with hard dust.
Standing with hands to the wall;
these faces won't stay level.

TOPIC (yay ) -- Standing on a cliff.

[atiguhya padma]

She stands on a cliff
In a shawl, looks out to sea,
Alone, lost in time
This was my lovers picture.
Now she sky-gazes seaward.

Topic: a train journey