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Thread: Form Poem Contest

  1. #1396
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Three very good entries. I enjoyed them all, they each took very different approaches to the form.

    Pendragon: Really enjoyed the reversal of the first line and I loved the mirror effect of the poem.

    YesNo: I enjoyed the way in which you used that classical theme of the good and bad conscious. I could visualize the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other having this debate.

    tailor STATELY: I loved the nature theme, and thought this was beautiful and elegantly written, also a very poetic title.

    And the winner is

    tailor STATELY

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  2. #1397
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Congrats, tailor STATELY! And thanks for the comment Dark Muse!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  3. #1398
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Thank you Dark Muse ! I enjoyed the other entries as well.

    Next: English style Ottava rima (Sailing to Byzantium, by William Butler Yeats an example... http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/172063 )

    Eight 10-syllable lines per stanza w/ a scheme: ABABABCC

    1-stanza ok; extra points for multiple stanzas (maximum of 4-stanzas).

    Create !

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  4. #1399
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Dirge #79

    I do not know why that I ever felt
    The habits of decades would ever change
    Given that my people still clearly held
    The strong opinion I am very strange
    Thought mom dying might make their cold hearts melt
    But I am still filled with red hot rage
    They know that my only sin was getting sick
    So why did they play such a vile, cold trick?

    I know too well that they were always cold
    They even hated me when I was well
    Down through all my life, through long years untold
    They basically put me through holy hell
    I should stand up with courage, brave and bold
    And simply tell them all to go to hell
    Since they put me high on their to hate shelf
    I should tell them all to go screw themselves

    Why do I still care; obviously they do not?!
    Bitterness is not really me at all
    Wishing them all in a damp grave to rot
    Blood is thicker than water and through it all
    My family is really all that I got
    Forgiveness: for is not that the whole law?
    I curse in darkness, but smile when in light
    Always tell myself that it is alright

    A tangled web of lies, told as the truth
    Cold comfort comes from their icy blue eyes
    Always hated since I was but a youth
    So I hid my heart in a thin disguise
    Hatred is illogical, so now forsooth
    I will endure until life itself dies
    Nestled safely away in my own tomb
    Bad-a-Bad-a-boom! Best guy in the room!

    Pendragon
    12/18/2015
    Last edited by Pendragon; 12-23-2015 at 10:48 PM. Reason: not enough sylables
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  5. #1400
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Getting Through the Day

    The wind is blowing off my morning smile.
    The crowd requires a detour from my plan.
    Impatience puts my sinking love on trial.
    The beach is closed with new construction. Can
    The simple joy of everything breathe while
    The sidewalk holds asleep a ragged man?
    That beggar may perhaps be more aware
    Than I who miss his feet and pass him there.

  6. #1401
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Two strong entries. Time to set a deadline. Let's try for 1-week from today 1/14/2016 midnight Pacific Standard Time.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  7. #1402
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Deadline: 1 Day & ~9 hours to go ! ( 1/14/2016 midnight Pacific Standard Time. )
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  8. #1403
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Enjoyed both entries.

    Pendragon: Forsooth ? ( yeeesh ! ) - though it does add to your wry/tortured tone and ending. Enduring to the end is one of my credos. Favorite line(s): "Nestled safely away in my own tomb" "Bad-a-Bad-a-boom! Best guy in the room!"

    YesNo: Enjoyed the enjambment in L4. Favorite line: "The wind is blowing off my morning smile."

    Passing the torch to Pendragon. Congratulations !

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  9. #1404
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Thank you!

    I am going to choose song. Two verses and a chorus. Your choice of how the rhymes go, but it must have rhyme. The rhyme of the first verse should match the rhyme of the second verse, i.e. If first verse goes ABAB, so does the second. The chorus doesn't have to match rhyme with the verses.

    So it's this way

    First Verse
    Chorus
    Second verse
    (additional verses if wanted)

    Good luck!

    God Bless
    Pen
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  10. #1405
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    You know, I'm gonna pass on this. No one has been here to even try this form. I'm gone.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  11. #1406
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Don't leave yet! I trying to think of a subject for a song. I like the song form just haven't come up with anything that fits.

  12. #1407
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    I been ! I been ! Queued up on ZenPen.io to noodle with on http://www.rhymedesk.com . My ideas just take longer from germination to harvest than all y'all.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor STATELY
    Last edited by tailor STATELY; 01-19-2016 at 10:46 PM. Reason: speling
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  13. #1408
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Larger Then Life

    Shadows from the past
    Confront the spinning mind
    Far off dream clouds last
    Though theyíre hard to find.

    Regret moves in too quickly.
    Forget and close the door.
    Blinding fog flows thickly.
    Forgive it now once more.

    Whenever sadness chokes the heart
    Thereís light somewhere to soothe it.
    A wrinkle in your mind might start.
    Relax and you can smooth it.

    Brains donít understand.
    Since they donít really know.
    Demons may be right at hand
    But they canít see the show.

    Whenever sadness chokes the heart
    Thereís light somewhere to soothe it.
    A wrinkle in your mind might start.
    Relax and you can smooth it.

  14. #1409
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Hummmm..... you realize I will be attempting to sing these....
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

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