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Thread: Form Poem Contest

  1. #751
    The Tin Woodman

    A lumberjack should know nothing of loss
    but that coward witch taught ol' Nick Chopper
    replacement parts can only go so far.
    Now my tin wears thin beneath vines and moss.
    To be made of clockwork and love no more
    To be entrapped by rusted over limbs
    These branches! My wooden prison condemns
    my heart, my heart, decayed by rain, my core
    A bit of oil looses my aching joints.
    Could this girl's wizard finish my repairs?
    I muster not even halfhearted hope
    Toward a city of emerald our road points
    They say the path belongs to him who dares
    Take heart, take heart you metal misanthrope.


    Ps. AuntShecky That was awesome! Great unity of idea and form, given the restrictions of a sonnet.
    Last edited by krymsonkyng; 03-31-2010 at 11:51 PM.

  2. #752
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    Oh, wonderful, krymsonkyng! Thank you. I love "The Wizard of Oz."
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  3. #753
    Thank ya kindly qimissung!

  4. #754
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    This contest is now closed. I will be back with the results, hopefully this weekend. Thank you Pendragon, AuntShecky, and KrymsonKing, for your entries.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  5. #755
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    I would, first off, like to thank Pendragon, auntShecky, and KrymsonKyng for entering this contest and taking on the somewhat daunting feat of writing a sonnet. I have written a few myself. I'm not saying they're any good, just that, in writing at least, I try not to ask of others what I have not attempted myself.

    All the entries were fine ones. Pendragon, I liked your downhome, touching homily to veterans. There is, unfortunately, so much truth in what you wrote. I actually recently visited a homeless shelter and while there spoke briefly to a vet who was seeking shelter for the night.

    AuntShecky
    wrote on a similar theme, liberty. You "captured" very well the elusive quality of Lady Liberty. As KrymsonKyng said, "Great unity of idea and form." I agree.

    Krysonkyng, yours isn't too shabby either. Your clever phrases do so much more than sum up the tin woodman's story. I love that last line, "Take heart, take heart you metal misanthrope."

    But the winner is

    AuntShecky!

    You had me at "but liberty's no lady" and your concluding lines

    "How fast it skitters, quicksilver on a slab!
    No frame will hold, for nowhere can be found
    a clue: at large, uncaged, in charge, and free."

    Love the internal rhyme, and how you strive to delineate this most visceral ideal. Well done, AuntShecky.

    Please choose the next form for us.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  6. #756
    Called it Great work everybody, especially Aunty!

  7. #757
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    Thank you Pendragon and KrymsonKyng for entering this contest, and thank you qimissung for selecting this.

    I'm honored to choose the next form which will be an English variation of the rondeau called the "roundel." Here's how you make a roundel--it sounds complicated, but it really isn't.

    -The poem is only 11 lines long with only 2 rhymes in three stanzas of 4, 3, and 4 lines.

    -Lines # 4 and #11 consist of a refrain which repeats the poem's opening word or phrase.

    -The refrain (R) may be rhymed with lines #2,#5, #7, and #9.

    -The rhyme scheme is this:
    abaR bab abaR
    You can see the pattern with this poem by A.C. Swinburne, titled, appropriately enough, "Roundel":

    A roundel is wrought as a ring or a star-bright sphere,
    With craft of delight and with cunning of sound unsought,
    That the heart of the hearer may smile if to pleasure his ear
    A roundel is wrought.

    It's jewel of music is carven of all or of aught--
    Love, laughter, or mourning --remembrance of rapture or fear-
    That fancy may fashion to hang in the ear of thought.

    As a bird's quick song runs sound, and the hearts in us hear --
    Pause answers to pause, and again the same strain caught,
    So moves the device whence, round as a pearl or tear,
    A roundel is wrought.


    See? Not so hard. I really believe that LitNutters can rise to the roundel challenge. I'm also stipulating that the topic be a cheerful one.

    Get your pencils and keyboards going and post an original roundel any time between now and May 10. Hope we get numerous entries!

    {NOTE: After I read the notice from one of the moderators that she preferred the last day for entries in the poetry contests be closer to the 10th of the month. This way the winner won't escape mention in the newsletter!}
    Last edited by AuntShecky; 04-19-2010 at 02:37 PM.

  8. #758
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AuntShecky View Post
    I'm also stipulating that the topic be a cheerful one.
    Now that is going to be a challange for me haha

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  9. #759
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Muse View Post
    Now that is going to be a challange for me haha
    Oh, come now, Dark Muse, you've been light-hearted and witty! (Please note change to a week earlier.)

  10. #760
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Love Song

    The sand on the beach, the waves of the sea,
    relaxing and waiting for a moment in time
    Reflections of love just for you and me
    Remembrance of who we are

    To hurry such precious moments would be a crime
    May our love last as long as the endless sea
    Forever together, our hearts all entwined

    Making our life contented, together we will be
    Until the final burnout of eternity and time
    Two hearts bound together who do not wish to be free
    Rememberance of just who we are

    Pendragon
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  11. #761
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    VIVE LA DIFFERENCE

    Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, the way those French girls sway
    Their hips and legs like poetry in motion, they're so chic;
    Their hairstyles and their fashions, all the rest seem so passe -
    Oo-lal-la, c'est magnifique!

    I love it when they flash their eyes, the breathless way they speak,
    And when they meet acquaintances along the street they say
    'Bonjour' before embracing, then a kiss on either cheek.

    Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, I'm drawn by their display
    But then a finger flip, a sneer, a sudden fit of pique,
    A puff of cigarette smoke then a snarl drives me away -
    Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique!

  12. #762
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hillwalker View Post
    VIVE LA DIFFERENCE

    Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, the way those French girls sway
    Their hips and legs like poetry in motion, they're so chic;
    Their hairstyles and their fashions, all the rest seem so passe -
    Oo-lal-la, c'est magnifique!

    I love it when they flash their eyes, the breathless way they speak,
    And when they meet acquaintances along the street they say
    'Bonjour' before embracing, then a kiss on either cheek.

    Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, I'm drawn by their display
    But then a finger flip, a sneer, a sudden fit of pique,
    A puff of cigarette smoke then a snarl drives me away -
    Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique!
    Lovely lilt to this - and then the surprising turnabout at the end!

  13. #763
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    Thanks for the two initial entries! Keep 'em comin'!

  14. #764
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    The Music of Love

    Let us fall forever in the twilight,
    hands clasped, my eyes upon the Northern star,
    I'll listen to your music on hot summer nights.
    Let us fall forever

    Dreaming of worlds somewhere afar
    you watch my face caught in the moon light,
    your fingers will strum cords of love on a guitar.

    Drawing your warmth around me in delight,
    if only these moments could be bottled in a jar,
    sweetly your tender melodies take flight.
    Let us fall forever

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  15. #765
    The Play Fight.

    A need is desire with a time limit
    Hold it tight against your chest. Keep the fire
    lit, that wiry bit, a still, silent fit.
    A need is desire

    Bright eyes set, lined, the mascara 'd crier
    some slight against obsessed, made quick to quit
    by the spinning sonnets of a liar.

    The winding wounds we weave with lines of spit
    words, heal; More venom cures the poison's ire.
    Brevity more real than the argument
    A need is desire.

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