Page 2 of 94 FirstFirst 12345671252 ... LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 1409

Thread: Form Poem Contest

  1. #16
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    montana
    Posts
    1,113
    Blog Entries
    7
    Hmmm, well if mine's done wrong, so is Adol and Riesa's. I think we all got a little confused, this is new.
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  2. #17
    Left 4evr Adolescent09's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,392
    Blog Entries
    14
    Yes, Il Pen is right... If mine is done wrong I think I'll have to drop out because this might just be too challenging for me. But wait a second.... The poem you posted yourself doesn't seem to comply with the rules of the contest, Pendragon. look:

    Gasping spirit leaves.
    Crimson spurts, wounds mortal.
    Covered knife. Slashed torso.
    Blood-filled lungs gurgle.
    Not enough time. Not enough time.
    Sometimes help never comes…
    Strikes are made quickly.
    Alone: Wolf and Prey—
    Cold killer cleans sharp blade…

    Blade sharp cleans killer: cold—
    Prey and Wolf: Alone…
    Quickly made are strikes—
    Never comes help! Sometimes,
    Time not enough… Time not enough!
    Gurgle lungs, blood-filled.
    Torso slashed—knife covered
    Mortal wounds—spurts crimson…
    Leaves spirit, gasping…

    ^^^If the rules of the contest imply direct reversibility in every line of the second stanza shouldn't the lines "Not enough time. Not enough time" be exactly reversed to "Time enough not. Time enough not"? As I said it's very difficult making sense when the direct reversibility rule is implied... Look at the other line you changed a little..: "Sometimes help never comes" should reverse directly to "Comes never help sometimes"...

    If I am wrong about this and it is ok to "tweek" directly reversible lines then I'm sorry about this little confusion. But then again most of your other lines in the poem directly reverse so it is evident that some of the poem's lines are changed around and some are direct

    Please excuse me if I got this all wrong. I'm a n00b at poetry styles. I'm not trying to start any row here, I'm just stating my views on this matter..
    My hide hides the heart inside

  3. #18
    Springing Riesa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    at the start of some hill or another
    Posts
    6,710
    Blog Entries
    23
    yes, I see now, I was most definitely confused. ah, it's all new. I'll try to edit, see what happens.
    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

  4. #19
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Riesa View Post
    who is Petra??

    ah, there are weeks left yet. Patience, dear friend.
    My mistake, among many, Riesa. And your poem requires no edits.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  5. #20
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Adolescent09 View Post
    Yes, Il Pen is right... If mine is done wrong I think I'll have to drop out because this might just be too challenging for me. But wait a second.... The poem you posted yourself doesn't seem to comply with the rules of the contest, Pendragon. look:



    Gasping spirit leaves.
    Crimson spurts, wounds mortal.
    Covered knife. Slashed torso.
    Blood-filled lungs gurgle.
    Not enough time. Not enough time.
    Sometimes help never comes…
    Strikes are made quickly.
    Alone: Wolf and Prey—
    Cold killer cleans sharp blade…

    Blade sharp cleans killer: cold—
    Prey and Wolf: Alone…
    Quickly made are strikes—
    Comes never help—sometimes…
    Time enough—not! … Time enough—not!
    Gurgle lungs, blood-filled.
    Torso slashed—knife covered
    Mortal wounds—spurts crimson…
    Leaves spirit, gasping…


    ^^^If the rules of the contest imply direct reversibility in every line of the second stanza shouldn't the lines "Not enough time. Not enough time" be exactly reversed to "Time enough not. Time enough not"? As I said it's very difficult making sense when the direct reversibility rule is implied... Look at the other line you changed a little..: "Sometimes help never comes" should reverse directly to "Comes never help sometimes"...

    If I am wrong about this and it is ok to "tweek" directly reversible lines then I'm sorry about this little confusion. But then again most of your other lines in the poem directly reverse so it is evident that some of the poem's lines are changed around and some are direct

    Please excuse me if I got this all wrong. I'm a n00b at poetry styles. I'm not trying to start any row here, I'm just stating my views on this matter..
    Caught me in a mistake. Now taKen care of. 'Dole yours is fine except for reverseing the next to last line. IP, you reverse from the wrong end! Sorry for the mix-up, and I invented this bloody form!
    Last edited by Pendragon; 04-03-2007 at 09:35 PM.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #21
    Left 4evr Adolescent09's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,392
    Blog Entries
    14
    Aww. This thread is slipping away. Doesn't anyone else wish to post poems on this ingenious new idea and bump this thread to the front lines?
    My hide hides the heart inside

  7. #22
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    20,354
    Blog Entries
    248
    I intend to Adolescent. But I haven't gotten an idea yet.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  8. #23
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    montana
    Posts
    1,113
    Blog Entries
    7
    Song and Silence

    Music turned arithmetic
    and in the end
    pattern in transistors
    radio programming
    syllables in a common
    counting scale
    that turns records
    spun into hip-hop stretch
    scratching pullovers.

    pullovers scratching
    stretch hip-hop into spun
    records turn that
    scale counting
    common in a syllable,
    programming radio
    transistors in pattern,
    end in the
    arithmetic turned music.
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  9. #24
    Thrift, thrift Horratio! hyperinsomnia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast, Australia
    Posts
    210
    *Awe and admiration*

    “Words are very unnecessary; they can only do harm”
    - Enjoy the Silence, Depeche Mode

  10. #25

    Geez, this is hard!

    well, here is mine then...

    Courage. I had courage.
    Now? Perhaps then.
    Wolves. My help. I would
    act surprised. Nevertheless,
    no surprise. This I knew:
    Help was there.
    Rustling dark leaves.
    Fearful, this hate.
    Enough despair. I was alone, now.

    Now, alone was I. Despair, enough!
    Hate this. Fearful
    Leaves, dark rustling.
    There was help!
    Knew I this surprise? No.
    Nevertheless, act surprised!
    Would I help my wolves
    Then? Perhaps now?
    Courage, had I courage...!

  11. #26
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Marino, Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    14,243
    Blog Entries
    118
    my contrabution. (not good at all but fun to do!and took a while to figure it out.)

    Forever walking, Slowly by
    stop to think, wonder why.
    Sky darkens, it amazed!
    lonely wandering clouds
    world is sleeping still
    Quiet everything goes bye
    good say i, nomore time
    to live, to go alone
    alas cried i, tonight!

    Tonight, I cried alas,
    Alone go to live, to
    time, nomore i say good
    bye...goes everything quiet.
    Still Sleeping is world...
    Clouds wandering lonely,
    amazed it darkens sky.
    why wonder..think to stop
    by, slowly walking forever.
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  12. #27
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133

    Exclamation

    Great one, IP! Now you catch on, and it is a great poem!

    Kandaurov, also a good poem, way to write the form!


    Niamh, don't be so hard on yourself! Good poem!


    I thank everyone who has participated so far and hope others follow. I know this is a tough form. But I've never submitted one for publication that was refused. The unusualness of the form catches the eyes of editors, I guess.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  13. #28
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    20,354
    Blog Entries
    248
    Just a question on the form, Pen. The nine lines can be of any length? Is that correct?
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  14. #29
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Blue Ridge Mountains, SW VA
    Posts
    21,250
    Blog Entries
    133

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
    Just a question on the form, Pen. The nine lines can be of any length? Is that correct?
    Certainly! Shorter ones are easier to reverse, but length is up to the poet. Whatever you can do, let it show! Go for it!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  15. #30
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    20,354
    Blog Entries
    248
    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Certainly! Shorter ones are easier to reverse, but length is up to the poet. Whatever you can do, let it show! Go for it!
    Thanks Pen, but I got to say, this is hard.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

Page 2 of 94 FirstFirst 12345671252 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Need Help Finding Old Poem And Author...
    By CATLADY in forum Poems, Poets, and Poetry
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-07-2016, 03:16 PM
  2. Looking for origins of poem
    By Erin@MHCC in forum Poems, Poets, and Poetry
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 08-24-2015, 04:26 AM
  3. Please help me find a poem
    By hartista in forum Poems, Poets, and Poetry
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-07-2010, 08:02 PM
  4. From Vacant Space To The Present Human Form
    By dattaswami in forum Religious Texts
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-08-2006, 10:31 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •