I'm not very good with forms, but in the interest of having fun, which I very much enjoy, here is my humble entry.
Where will I be that hour,
using my hands or words,
fingers in the flowers,
or lines that go unheard?
There was a garden once,
with Columbine and Rue.
Queen Anne’s Lace bowed in dance,
above the Feverfew.
Most likely there I’ll go,
where the Everlasting grow,
and what thoughts that I may save,
in free or metered verse,
my best, thank God my worst,
go with me to the grave.
One more day to go, everyone! The competition will be closed on November 5, 23.59 (11.59 pm) CET
Meanwhile I'm brooding which one to choose. As hard as cracking a coconut open with your bare hands ...
guess i cant make it this time
.... ..... ...
oh well, sonnets were never my cup of tea anyway! *shrug* ....
well done and good luck everyone good to see u're giving barb such a tough time!
This contest is closed.
I envy Paris somehow. He only had to choose from three beauties. I've got seven beauties. But no, no envy. I'm quite sure my choice won't have an outcome as disastrous as Paris's.
Wednesday's the day. (around 23.00 hours/11 pm CET)
Well, my seven beauties, line up for inspection. Are you ready?
Pen: You wrote what we will hence refer to as Pendragonian sonnet, a new form with no meter but a regular rhyme scheme which is, however, obeyed loosely. You show that one can create beautiful poetry with that form. I loved your central image of "Mother Night", the "regal lady", who protects and comforts you. Very soothing and heart-warming.
Petrarch's Love: You say you worked with a "loose alexandrine". That's how you gave the term Petrarchan sonnet a new meaning. I loved how you played with the colour white and with the imagery from nature. The repetition of the last line in the tercets was very impressing as it appears ambiguous. I, for one, was quite unprepared for the ending when I read your poem for the first time. As I said, it gave me the shivers.
Ampoule: You use a very regular meter and rhyme so you can actually hear the music when you read it aloud. It's like song lyrics, who knows, perhaps someone will create a tune for it. I had a small problem with the use of the pronoun "they" at the end. Could it be you meant onlookers here holding their breath and then clapping? You might have made that a bit clearer (but perhaps it's just me.) Anyway, I enjoyed listening to the music and watching you dance.
Autolycus: Your "Short History of Poetry" was serious, witty and funny - all in one. I loved the image of the mother soothing her baby by the fire with her "tidal lub dub". And the way you connect that to modern times was brilliant. Moreover you're the only one to meet the original requirements completely. Beautiful! Pity I can't count that any more. But it wouldn't have done if we'd only had one entry, would it?
Virgil: What an excellent idea to describe a baseball game in a poem - and a sonnet at that! I've never read something alike in poetry before. It was like one moment of the game in slow motion. Very vivid description of the pitcher throwing, the batter hitting, the umpire, the reaction of the fans. Great. Seems I'll have to watch some baseball soon (only you hardly get it on TV over here).
Rockin I loved your theme, the connection of the apple tree and free will. It starts quite "harmless" with a "simple" apple tree until you bring in the Garden of Eden, temptation and free will. (I take it that you meant "its" instead of "it's" and ripened (not "ripped")? At least that's how I read it, it made the most sense to me.) Your poem is well-structured. In form it's a Pendragonian sonnet. I hope you're not cross with me that I named it after Pen - he was the first to enter this form.
Firefangled: Where will the poet go - and where his or her works? I'm sure in the garden "where the Everlasting grow" there is a place reserved for you. And don't you take your "best" to the grave or anywhere else, but leave them here for every litnetter to enjoy! And don't leave us too early, either. There's still a lot of time and I'm sure there is a lot more you want to tell us "in metered or free verse"!
Oh my beauties, I had a very good time appreciating your quite different types of beauty. And - running out of objective criteria - I will choose the one that appeals to me most. Love at first sight, and on second reading, and third and fourth ...
The winner is Autolycus's sonnet - for its wit and its theme (I've always wanted to say that myself ) but NOT for its meter - believe it or not. Yes, I know that autolycus won the one before this one. But I couldn't shun that sonnet just on these grounds, there are several others who have won other contests. It wouldn't have been fair.
So come and murder me now. I couldn't help myself. But let me thank everyone again for their contributions. I think we had a high quality contest here. Well done, everyone.
Last edited by barbara0207; 11-07-2007 at 05:23 PM.
Thank you Barbara on your kind words. And congratulations Autolycus, very imaginative poem. I really liked it, especially the sestet:
"The wolf is now a dog" is quite a line.Since then the fractured world, in chaos and despair,
Has turned its back on Mum and wandered everywhere.
And thus the lullaby has fallen ill and dead...
There's no more need to rhyme, the wolf is now a dog;
And baby sleeps content in silence as a log
Upon the rhymeless altar of the modern bed.
LET THERE BE LIGHT
"That day I shall always recollect with grief; with reverence also, for the gods so willed it." - Virgil, The Aeneid (V, 49)
Distracted from distraction by distraction
Congrats auto. Thats a great poem.
Congratulations, Auto! A well deserved win.
And thanks for the feedback, Barbara.
"In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen
Congratulations autolycus. Thanks for your work and the pointers barbara. It was fun.
I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.
"If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor
Congratulations, Autolycus. Great poem! Very well done.
Barbie, you still have to get a barb in about my sonnets, do you not? I used to enjoy writing them, y'know? Perhaps people have noted that I haven't been writing birthday sonnets for sometime now. The joy of the form is gone for me. Since I have been on the forum, I have written more sonnets than anyone else, for birthdays, the obit page, sonnets from The Dasterdley Ghost, etc. Carefree, Pendragian sonnets.
there is no joy in mudville...
Don't let it sink your boat, Auto. You deserved your win, and you make certain the contests continue! You're a darn fine poet, and by golly, make them work for the next prize!
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
Argh! *grin* I'm pleased and amazed and distraught because I never thought I'd win and I have a PhD deadline to make and... oh enough of the excuses. Thank you all for being great company. I am truly honoured and I will try my best.
se non e vero, e molto ben'trovato
Oh wait hey here's an idea already...
The next form is called a haikonnet. A haikonnet is a sonnet of sorts.
1. It is divided into 17 lines, in three sections.
1.1 The first section has 5 lines. It sets the stage.
1.2 The second section has 7 lines. It develops a theme.
1.3 The third section has 5 lines. It concludes, either by showing something about the first 12 lines which was not obvious before, or by posing a question.
2. All of the lines must have at least 8 syllables (but may have any number up to 12). There is no real metre, iambic, dactylic or whatever else.
3. Every line must rhyme with at least one other line.
4. I will assess poems on form, symmetry, complexity and content.
4.1 Form refers to meeting all the requirements in 1-3 above.
4.2 Symmetry refers to a deliberate attempt to make the poem symmetrical in some way (metre is probably the simplest).
4.3 Complexity refers to the degree of difficulty (like gymnastics or diving hahaha!) used in rhymes, metre etc.
4.4 Content refers to the 'plot' that emerges in the form provided.
Yes, it's a challenge. I'm not sure I could meet it myself!
*howls madly and runs off chasing the invisible moon*
se non e vero, e molto ben'trovato