Form Poem Contest

[cacian]

the air is dense
with forest fence
the rivers's pale
with too much hale
everything else if paused and tense

the skies are blend
with something trend
the cooling of the breeze and ale
dissipates fast somewhere to rise.

fountains churn colours of sense
beautiful daisies lay intense
reflections of a day immense
the view is a fascinating tale
the moment of a captive dale
dissipate fast somewhere to rise.

[Pendragon]

I'm going to give the contest until Wednesday week from now. I'll be back from Nashville to see my daughter (who is pregnant with my grandson, Logan Michael Kohari) by then. Keep the poems coming!

[MarkBastable]

Hanging On

If our paths cross sometime tonight
Beneath these humming argon lights,
In the hour we’re both around
When my breath's lost and yours is found,
I’ll feel I did just one thing right.

The quacks make sure I’m out of sight,
As Annie yells with all her might.
I’ll tell you how to calm her down,
If our paths cross.

And, by the way, your mom’s alright.
She’ll make a man of you despite
A dad who was a drunken clown.
I'm proud of her. I guess I’m bound
To tell her so. I will, tonight,
If our paths cross.

[Pendragon]

I apologize for the late judging, my laptop was stolen when my son's home was robbed. Lost a lot of data I had failed to back up. You live, you learn...

Now then:

YesNo. Love it, reminds me of childhood!

Dark Muse: Always at your morbid best, well done!

cacian: Interesting choice

But the winner is:

MarkBastable

That repeating line "If our paths cross" evokes memories of old friends, old flames, and old enemies... What would I do "if our paths cross"? Hummm...

Congrats. MarkBastable

[cacian]

Pendragon very sorry to hear about your laptop.
Robbery seems to be a daily act.
I was just talking to my son yesterday telling me his friend got robbed in his home whilst he was asleep. It happened in the early hours of the morning. His laptop also gone.

Thank you for the feedback and MarkBarstable congratulations!!

[MarkBastable]

Thank you. I'm chuffed.


Okay, let's do a limerick. Limericks needn't necessarily be comic, but they almost always are because the rhyme scheme and the metre just strike the ear as funny. When limericks fail, it's often because not enough work has been done on getting the metre right.

Wiki is forthcoming in this area.


The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth usually rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables. The defining "foot" of a limerick's meter is usually the anapaest, (ta-ta-TUM), but limericks can also be considered amphibrachic (ta-TUM-ta)[dubious – discuss].

However, from a rhythmic point of view, lines 1, 2 and 5 have a silent accent at the end, making 4 accents per line. Lines 3 and 4 combined also have 4 accents, making four lines with an overall total of 16 accents (i.e. foot tapping "beats" ). Reading, or reciting, naturally follows the rhythm of 6/8 time, making eight bars of two triplets per bar. A triplet represents a "foot" of 3 syllables.

Er, yuh. Whatevs. The point is, it has be dead-on...

T'boppeter boppeter bopper
T'boppeter boppeter bopper
T'boppeter bip
T'boppeter bip
T'boppeter boppeter bopper

(The bips can be bippers, but it's more difficult to keep the rhythm smooth if you take the bipper option.)

There's also the question of subject matter. Wiki has this to say...


Gershon Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly anthology, held that the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene, and cites similar opinions by Arnold Bennett and George Bernard Shaw, describing the clean limerick as a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity. From a folkloric point of view, the form is essentially transgressive; violation of taboo is part of its function.


Magazine contests, huh? Well, I do tend to Legman's view that a limerick should be, if not obscene, certainly risqué - which is not easy to do. However, the censor software on this forum notwithstanding, I say, "Contestant, if you got dirty down, get down and dirty."

Here, for instance, is a limerick I penned this morning, to get us all in the mood...

There once was a ******** from ******
Who ****** with a ****** up her ******
When she ******** in a ******
It was ****** ** *******
And her **** ****** sticky and ********

If you plan on writing this kind of limerick, I suggest mailing it to me as well as posting it here.

Deadline: October 26th. Good luck.

[YesNo]

Rose and Billy

There once was a lady named Rose,
Very nice from her head to her toes.
Billy's dreams weren't that pure.
Rose don't mind. She is sure
He won't mind if some more of her shows.

[My2cents]

*$#@ *@#

The cacophony of voices, pleading, begging…
Bugger off, I say before I @!# ^%&* &*(^ing
Do to you what I would…
Erm…I mean what I should
Have done to you you *(&^%(% ^%$&ing…

[Pendragon]

The once was a man of such fame
That all knew his wealth and his name
Death came to call
In the end, after all
Worm food is all he remains

[cacian]

in a far away town called seville
lived a man called neville
he did not care for dreads
nor did not speak in swears
but the one thing he dwelled
was his crown and his tan

[cacian]

this is long over due.
Judges anywhere?

[MarkBastable]

For hitting the metre and going against the usual limerick subject matter, the winner is Pendragon.

[Pendragon]

Thanks, Mark.

As many of you know, I am very partial to the villanelle form. Make that your assignment for this next round. Here's a good example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Girl's_Love_Song_(poem

Advice: Choose your repeating lines carefully. They are most of the challenge, to keep them flowing as they repeat.

Good luck

Pen

[YesNo]

Don't pet the werewolves in the zoo.
They say their teeth are sharp and bite.
Don't let the mermaids cuddle you.

They tease with lies until they're true
Insisting what they did was right.
Don't pet the werewolves in the zoo.

The past might break with what is new.
The future won't stay out of sight.
Don't let the mermaids cuddle you.

They say you'll die, though, if you do.
Don't feed the ogres. They might fight.
Don't pet the werewolves in the zoo.

Don't breathe the fairy dust blown through
The bars that hold these creatures tight.
Don't let the mermaids cuddle you.

You did? I know. I did it, too.
Some rules are made to cage delight.
Don't pet the werewolves in the zoo.
Don't let the mermaids cuddle you.

[Dark Muse]

Broken Love Song

He sang a broken love song
another melancholy Autumn day,
the lone bird flew away, so long.

The wind braces me to be strong
like fallen leaves I dream of slipping away,
he sang a broken love song.

His fragile beauty was so wrong
yet silently I wished he could stay,
the lone bird flew away, so long.

Thunder claps like a gong
while in the rain to and fro I sway,
he sang a broken love song.

In the cage of my heart he did not belong
I watched him disappear in skies so gray,
the lone bird flew away, so long.

Why this agony do I prolong?
the bitterness of my soul in decay
he sang a broken love song,
the lone bird flew away, so long.