"Imposible Paradise"

[CFDKevin]

Hi Everyone,

Feedback is always a good thing to a writer. Here is an excerpt from one of my short stories. Let me know what you think. Thanks

Excerpt

My discharge took effect the same day the Japs surrendered. The Army said my leg was as good as it was ever gonna get. It still aches some, but it works okay I guess. I rode a Greyhound bus to St. Joe and then hitched a ride out to the lakes. I had to walk a mile or so to our cottage but I didn't mind even though my leg got pretty sore. The sun was starting to go down and I knew the lake would be glowing like fire. I could feel my heart beating hard against my chest. I even started to breathe kind'a hard. I was so close to home I swear I could taste the lake air.

I got to the cottage and had to hold back from running down to the pier. I wanted to go inside and get Sera. I wanted to see the sunset again for the first time with her. She has the softest green eyes. To me they meant paradise. I wanted to see them and the lake at the same time. As I pushed open that back door I never thought I'd be taking a plunge into hell.