Margaret Atwood's address to English Teachers

[byquist]

At web.net/owtoad/q.html there's an interesting (and sometimes humorous) address as Margaret Atwood speaks to the Toronto Council of Teachers of English (1995), sample following:

"Question: What are the disadvantages of being a professional novelist or poet?

I guess the key word here is professional. No disadvantages that I can see. Let's put it this way: if I weren't one, I'd be teaching university English. And I've done that. It was really hard. I took up smoking when I got to the part where I had to mark the papers. I had to do something. I wasn't going to get through it otherwise. ... I coughed a lot at six cigarettes a day, so I figured that smoking and I were not meant for each other and I had better give up teaching."

[Shannanigan]

haha! my goodness...I hope I don't have to turn to smoking when I start teaching! Perhaps gum-chewing or pencil-biting would have been a better choice?

[ShoutGrace]

Or you could maipulate little steel balls like Captain Queeg .


"(Captain Queeg removes the steel balls from his pocket and he spins them in his palm insistently as he speaks.)

Queeg: No, I, I don't see any need of that. Now that I recall, he might have said something about messboys and then again he might not -- I questioned so many men and Harding was not the most reliable officer.

Lt. Greenwald (Jose Ferrer): I'm afraid the defense has no other recourse than to produce Lt. Harding.

Queeg: Now there's no need for that I know exactly what hell tell you. Lies! He was no different than any officer in the wardroom -- they were all disloyal, I tried to run the ship properly by the book but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out that's all right let them take the tow line. Defective equipment no more no less, but they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about steaming and circles. And then old yellow stain. I was to blame for Lt. Merrick's incompetence and poor seamanship. Lt. Merrick was the perfect officer but not Captain Queeg.
Ah, but the strawberries! That's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist! And I'd have produced that key if they hadn't pulled Caine out of action! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer and!......(realizes he has been ranting, babbling)
Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory if I've left anything out, why, just ask me specific questions and I'll be glad to answer them...one-by-one..."