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Thread: A practice

  1. #1
    Be. white camellia's Avatar
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    A Practice

    One day as I woke up
    From a cicada's courting
    Unbearably sexier than a human's
    I threw away the blankets of winter
    And shed the skin of spring
    Front legs a symbolic yawning
    Caressing the Bed's crimpled forehead

    A clear rush in the middle
    Blocked at a tuber
    Burst into a sterile tower
    Inside it blossomed
    The Doctrine of Signatures
    Then I closed the medical book
    In a vision of boiling spadix
    Last edited by white camellia; 12-29-2008 at 10:56 AM.
    There is no polite way
    of being happy

  2. #2
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Really amazing, white camellia. Reading it makes me feel a little giddy.

    You might want to change 'unbearable' to 'unbearably'.

  3. #3
    Be. white camellia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blp
    Really amazing, white camellia. Reading it makes me feel a little giddy.

    You might want to change 'unbearable' to 'unbearably'.
    Ahh, indeed, i've changed it.

    so glad that it made you feel that way!

    it's amazingly sunny today with the singing of cicadas' somewhere in the small bamboo woods outside my window ... and i incredibly got excited.
    There is no polite way
    of being happy

  4. #4
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by white camellia
    Ahh, indeed, i've changed it.

    so glad that it made you feel that way!

    it's amazingly sunny today with the singing of cicadas' somewhere in the small bamboo woods outside my window ... and i incredibly got excited.
    And I'm getting incredibly jealous. I'm sitting in an office on a grey, cold day in London. Not a sexy cicada in sight.

  5. #5
    Be. white camellia's Avatar
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    O, hehe ... then hope my little poem could make up. ;-P

    by the bye, may i ask that is there a slight shock in these lines?
    There is no polite way
    of being happy

  6. #6
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by white camellia
    O, hehe ... then hope my little poem could make up. ;-P

    by the bye, may i ask that is there a slight shock in these lines?
    Oh yes. There is.

  7. #7
    Springing Riesa's Avatar
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    Nice, white camellia, I understand blp's comment about feeling slightly giddy, but I feel dizzy.

    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

  8. #8
    Be. white camellia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riesa
    Nice, white camellia, I understand blp's comment about feeling slightly giddy, but I feel dizzy.

    hmm, at least, you are not bored. thank you, Riesa!

    There is no polite way
    of being happy

  9. #9
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    ooh la la!
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  10. #10
    Lovely, sexy, suggestive words WC. Let's have some more from you soon.

  11. #11
    Zangetsu Gozeta's Avatar
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    Wow! you felt all that from the singing of cicadas'?? Truly amazing! (poetry that is)
    "Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
    Jeanne Moreau

  12. #12
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    I liked the first stanza very much, especially the opeing lines: "One day as I woke up'/From a cicada's courting". Very beautiful. Instead of saying "Front legs a symbolic yawning" why not take out the symbolic word and say "Front legs yawning". You might have to adjust the transition to the next line, but I don't know why you have to tell us it's symbolic. Perhaps you have a reason.


    I wasn't as overwhlemed by the second stanza. Perhaps I don't quite understand it, and the fault perhaps lies with me. I take it as a contrast to the opening stanza, the beauty of the cicadas singing versus clinical biology. I didn't get what was going on with "blocked in the middle"(?) and "Doctrine of Signatures" (?). Perhaps it's me. I do like the closing image of "boiling spadix".
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  13. #13
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gozeta
    Wow! you felt all that from the singing of cicadas'?? Truly amazing! (poetry that is)
    Gozeta - We keep following each other with posts. Given we have the same avatar, I wonder if we're confusing the dickins out of people.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  14. #14
    I was confused, by the avatars that is. Also, slightly the poem, but I like it, and feel I'll have to reread it and ponder awhile to understand it. Which is great, especially if you wrote it feeling the spontaneous impression of the cicadas, it has a lasting power.

  15. #15
    Be. white camellia's Avatar
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    yes, symbolic and signatures(i see the existence and motion of animals and plants as some symbols), and i love the feeling to it when i say it symbolic.

    the second stanza is mainly about a vision(after the thought of Amorphophallus titanum)

    thank you!
    There is no polite way
    of being happy

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