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Thread: Challenge: Describe One of Your Parents in 100 Words.

  1. #16
    Rachel and Pensive - thank you.

  2. #17
    Hi there!
    read all your works here and it is interesting how people get along with their ideas and there's always the question: is it real?

    I gave it a try aswell - please mark mistakes, for I'm a foreigner.
    Thanks!
    J.

    You

    It is you, who wants me to finish my studies. Also you that tells me what is right, 'cause you know much better than I do.
    Stones are to be taken out of ones way - you love sentences like these.

    Iím always listening to my mind, more than to my heart, Ďcause you taught me so.
    You are proud for what I do and that I am getting done with chemistry,
    But should my life be just for you?

    Family means a lot to me, including especially you
    Thus emotions tell me:
    Some Stones are not for take away.

  3. #18
    Nice one Shig - daring bit of rhyming there - Mareeed and deed! I'm really enjoying reading these. Yours got me thinking Joleena.

  4. #19
    here's me other parent:

    Early morning. Him standing by the kettle, thumb on the red switch, waiting impatiently for his fourth cup of coffee. Smell of nicotine and Nescafe in my face. Moaning about a door left open or a light left on since he lost his job.A tobacco tin thrown at a door, brown tobacco lost in the brown floor. A minor tragedy. Years later the coffee swapped for tins of Special Brew and cheap red wine, most of the time. But no more despising his rancid coffee nicotine breath. He's sad that he lost it all. He isn't my real dad.

    Oh, I am 'Chinaski' by the way - I reverted back to me old forum name and avatar - it's a long story!
    Last edited by Bandini; 04-26-2006 at 12:19 PM.

  5. #20
    That's really nicely put Joleena - I could point out a couple of minor grammar slips, but it doesn't really need changing - the slips add a touch of foreignness which is charming.

    And we're all foreigners, somewhere.

  6. #21
    I agree - I really liked this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Joleena

    Stones are to be taken out of ones way - you love sentences like these.

  7. #22
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    he is yielding and
    gray at the edges
    but refuses to let go
    of the youngest leaves.
    dislikes family
    conflicts, but
    has tossed
    me into the wind
    to effect an
    impossible peace.
    his heart
    is strong but
    the bark is fraying -
    perhaps he has
    forgotten his
    own strength
    while leaning on
    this birch whom
    he adores
    by this bank
    on a slow
    river. the
    flowers bloom
    and sometimes
    birds nest and
    strew petals
    around his
    feet he'd always
    liked gardens
    i hope he's happy
    sometimes it
    seems his roots
    cry out for
    more light
    he doesn't know
    the forest's dimness
    is not shade.


    *not quite 100 but close

    **blp, what a very interesting thread you mentioned!
    Last edited by amuse; 04-26-2006 at 04:18 PM.
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  8. #23
    Hey - lets not quibble over a word or two. I really liked that.

  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xamonas Chegwe
    Rachel and Pensive - thank you.
    Having seen this before the post referenced, I thought this was a description of your mother in 100 words or fewer, and thought, "Oh my god, that's brilliant."

    Of course, it's not. But I'm going to pretend it is. By the way, nice work on the poem, too.

  10. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by blp
    Sorry - do you mean me? That poem's a very recent post in the personal poetry section. And it doesn't quite fit the parameters of this thread, mainly the 100 word limit.
    Stick it on any way. we can bend the rules a little can't we?

  11. #26
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amuse
    **blp, what a very interesting thread you mentioned!
    Join in! Join in!

  12. #27
    who me?? optimisticnad's Avatar
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    My father is a Roman Emperor
    Who kills all those who are a threat to Him.
    Putting your son into the river wonít
    fool Him. And we are nothing but His slaves
    We toil and we sweat so that He may sit
    Smile, sleep, Smile, play, Smile, feast on souls, and Smile.


    But like all those before Him and all those
    After,
    Please believe me when I tell you Daddy,
    Your highness,
    Your
    end
    will
    >>>>>come
    >>>>>>>>>>>>too.
    Did You know Ceasar was killed by those he
    trusted most?
    We can never know what to want, because living only one life we can neither compare it with our previous lives, nor perfect it in our lives to come'
    Milan Kundera,The Unbearable Lightness of Being


    Parce que c'est toi, parce que c'est moi

  13. #28
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bandini
    Stick it on any way. we can bend the rules a little can't we?
    What the hell...

    Poem for Mom

    People who arenít any good at drawing
    and donít care
    who drop litter and chew gum with their
    mouths open
    who arenít any good at drawing
    but like sex
    like people
    like flesh
    you donít like them
    you donít want me to like them either

    A person is a body
    That includes you
    You need to be told you have a body too
    It hangs on me
    hotly and hevily
    You need to be told you have a body too

    But it disappears in the bigness of cathedral air
    it disappears in history
    in the warp and weft of a tapestry
    in the drawing rooms of rich relatives
    the Jewishness freezes and falls off. Half of you gone

    Well, Iím off
    Iím going to leave you here
    stewing over your immortality project
    itís not for me

    Iím busy

    I have to fall in love with someone rotten
    make some valueless things
    and describe them ungrammatically
    read some pornography
    poison some cats

    You have an existential problem
    I have to get this wax out of my ear

    You have this theory that suffering is endemic
    but my *** feels really sweet in these pants

    A sticker on my medicine bottle says
    Ďfor external use onlyí
    I could still see it as I threw it at the TV
    Absent-mindedly putting a
    Splash of orange juice in my coffee

    Tonight for dinner Iím having boeuf en croissant
    and coffee with wine in it

  14. #29
    who me?? optimisticnad's Avatar
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    i like the turn at the end...but I must say its fairly predictable. But excellent definition/view of...is it teens (?) : 'I have to fall in love with someone rotten' 'read pornography'
    We can never know what to want, because living only one life we can neither compare it with our previous lives, nor perfect it in our lives to come'
    Milan Kundera,The Unbearable Lightness of Being


    Parce que c'est toi, parce que c'est moi

  15. #30
    I thought it was great, and I think people confuse honest expression with being predictable sometimes, and I prefer honest to pretentious. If I'm honest, I thought yours was a bit 'psuedy' Optimisticnad. But then 'different people/ different 'pinions/some like apples/some like onions

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