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Thread: To obey

  1. 03-19-2006, 02:43 PM #1
    white camellia
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    Obedience

    You can't teach intelligence
    So I be your puppet pulled around
    You are not satisfied with my rustic obedience
    So I brainwash my ego like a proselytism hound
    You open the door with a Delphic smile
    So I be compelled to enter in a voluntaristic-dupe manner
    You shutter the windows lest outer
    View would the furniture defile
    So I pretend to feast inhaling deeper
    Lemons, Litchis, Lettuce, Horseradish…
    A display of miscellaneous dish
    All laid still as greenish cadaver
    Awaits to be anatomized by my sweet knife
    And then you raise the cold goblet
    Where I find myself rife
    With plenty of tumultuary quiet
    Last edited by white camellia; 12-27-2008 at 01:05 PM.
    There is no polite way
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  2. 03-20-2006, 01:01 PM #2
    blp
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    Brilliant!
    But I try to want what?

    Taking a cue from The Atheist: click to give food to the hungry - free
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  3. 03-20-2006, 01:56 PM #3
    white camellia
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    Quote Originally Posted by blp
    Brilliant!
    What a delightful compliment, blp!
    But more is that you, as a reader, were pleased!
    I am actually thinking about a better title since this one might be a bit distressful? What about "enclosed pleasure"?
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  4. 03-21-2006, 04:34 AM #4
    Aurora Ariel
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    Your poems are really distinctive and interesting. There is a nice uniqueness there. This is one of my favourites so far. I look forward to reading more from you!
    Last edited by Aurora Ariel; 03-23-2006 at 07:33 AM.
    My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery --always buzzing, humming, soaring, roaring, diving, and then buried in mud. And why? What's this passion for?
    -Virginia Woolf

    “I want to write a novel about Silence,” he said; “the things people don’t say. But the difficulty is immense.” He sighed. - Night and Day
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  5. 03-21-2006, 08:01 AM #5
    blp
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    I prefer the title you've got and it seems more accurate in describing the subject matter.
    But I try to want what?

    Taking a cue from The Atheist: click to give food to the hungry - free
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  6. 03-23-2006, 01:48 AM #6
    white camellia
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora Ariel
    Your poems are really distinctive and interesting. There is a nice uniqueness there. This is one of my favourite so far. I look forward to reading more from you!
    This is one of my favourite too, Aurora Ariel. I will keep writing poems as long as I can feel the world and myself ... as long as someone's waiting ...

    Thank you, Aurora Ariel ... Your name sounds beautiful ...
    There is no polite way
    of being happy
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