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Thread: under the tree

  1. #1
    king of concrete jungle dreamsbegone's Avatar
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    under the tree

    It was an unpredictable day since the morning. We'd been through both sloppy and fine weather. That certain time of afternoon which I used was calm and the clouds were few and sparse. The wind blew them off, once here and once there. Birds were few as well. It was just like spring time in one of the northern European countries. It was perfect for flying a kite. I was sitting under a great pine tree which time had left its mark on, names and dates. It was large and so old. Sun rays touched the face of the people in that garden giving them a feel of warmth. It was obvious in their eyes. Those eyes that the sun's affectionateness made hyaloid so you could see through them. I was looking at the people walking by. I guess I wanted to enjoy this moment as long as I could.

    In moments weather began changing. Clouds gathered in front of the sun cloaking a part of its light. The blue sky which was like a sea up there became all washed-up sad grey and the noise of the walkers became a terrible silence that was broken by few words a man behind me said.
    - that weather is strange. I swear it is.
    - Yes, once it is summer and once it is winter.
    I said that while I was turning back to see who that man was. An old man emerged from behind the tree. He was so old. As old as that tree. His face was white, but the heat made it look purple. He was sweating. I stood up and asked him to sit beside me. He was short and bald with a mid-length white beards. He wore a neat blue woolen blouse with a well chosen brown trousers. The way he spoke he was an educated man. He sat down heavily and said.
    - I see that people still come to this tree.
    - yes, I guess so.
    He gave himself a little time to rest and added.
    - I used to come to this tree when I was 18 years old.
    - You did?
    He stood up again and went to the tree. He pointed to the bole and said.
    - there, do you see? There is my name.
    I went by him and looked at the same part he pointed. The carving on the tree was so old and was not so clear. I couldn't know the name. it began with A. we both went back to our seats. The man was moaning when he sat just as he did when he stood up. He was trying to smile but it was clear he was trying to hide his pain.
    - that damned pain in my back. It is never gone.
    After few minutes the old man stood up and walked away. I watched him until he was gone. I kept there in my place for seconds then I left. My house was not so far. I could see the tree from my roof. Once I went inside my home it began to rain. I settled in my room as I heard the sound of the rain hitting at my window.

    A silly story. Isn't it? When I wrote that story I wanted to show something that I always believed in and shall always believe in. Not every story has to prove a point. Sometimes you read a story just to enjoy it. A silly story is not a story with nothing to prove. A silly story is not a strange story that cannot happen in reality so there is no silly story.
    out,out, brief candle.
    life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage. and then is heared nomore, it is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury. a signifying nothing.


    "judge a man by his questions rather than his answers"
    Voltaire

  2. #2
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    very nice, dreamsbegone. No, it's not a silly story.

  3. #3
    In the fog Charles Darnay's Avatar
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    I really enjoyed ths. And I agree that this was not a silly story, quite the opposite really. I think it worked very nicely, because the reader is expecting something to happen - something special about the old man and the tree (what a terrible pun, I know), or perhaps since he was in pain, it creates the expectation that he will die. But no, it rains, the protagonist walks into his house, you don't find stoires like this anymore.
    I wrote a poem on a leaf and it blew away...

  4. #4
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    I enjoyed it too, What gives you the idea that it is silly? Keep on writing! Your description for weather is smashing.
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  5. #5
    In the fog Charles Darnay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pensive
    I enjoyed it too, What gives you the idea that it is silly? Keep on writing! Your description for weather is smashing.
    smashing is certainly a good word for it
    I wrote a poem on a leaf and it blew away...

  6. #6
    unidentified hit record blp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamsbegone
    A silly story. Isn't it? When I wrote that story I wanted to show something that I always believed in and shall always believe in. Not every story has to prove a point. Sometimes you read a story just to enjoy it. A silly story is not a story with nothing to prove. A silly story is not a strange story that cannot happen in reality so there is no silly story.
    I think you're so right and this is so important. Not only does not every story have to prove a point, I'd be a lot happier if a lot less of them were out to prove points. The feeling that we must be going somewhere, that everything is supposed to have a qualifiable, quantifiable and measurable purpose is oppressive and makes people obsessive. In not doing this, your story achieves a high level of feeling. It was really worth reading. Thanks.

  7. #7
    In the fog Charles Darnay's Avatar
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    There's a German literary term which I cannot remember that decribes a story that follows a character (usually from birth to some kind of ending). These stories do not always prove points but are so greatly entertaining and far richer than some of the plot driven modern works we have today.
    I wrote a poem on a leaf and it blew away...

  8. #8
    king of concrete jungle dreamsbegone's Avatar
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    thank you all for your posts and ideas
    out,out, brief candle.
    life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage. and then is heared nomore, it is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury. a signifying nothing.


    "judge a man by his questions rather than his answers"
    Voltaire

  9. #9
    C'est une très jolie histoire dreamsbegone! Et très bien écrite, continue!!!
    "What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?"

  10. #10
    king of concrete jungle dreamsbegone's Avatar
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    merci, je continuera.
    out,out, brief candle.
    life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage. and then is heared nomore, it is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury. a signifying nothing.


    "judge a man by his questions rather than his answers"
    Voltaire

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