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Thread: Love Will Find A Way

  1. #1
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Love Will Find A Way

    Here, is a short, simple and a poor poem by me.

    Beneath the stars
    Beyond the moon

    Love will find a way

    Along the river
    Across the sea

    Love will find a way

    On the earth and in the sky
    In any truth or in every lie

    Love will find a way

    Sung by birds
    Dreamt by trees

    Love will find a way

    Hidden in the book
    Blooming in the flowers

    Love will find a way

    In rainy season, in the shape of rain
    Travelling through every track like a train

    Love will find a way

    Everywhere; here or there
    In any form or like a storm

    Love will find a way
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  2. #2
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    please will you post your better poems? because i really liked this "poor" one!

    especially these parts:
    Quote Originally Posted by Pensive

    or in every lie

    Dreamt by trees

    in the shape of rain
    Travelling through every track like a train

    In any form or like a storm

    Love will find a way
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  3. #3
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Ah thanks amuse for your kind words. Actually, I don't write much poems. I have written only a few pieces of poetry and nearly all of them are poor.
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  4. #4
    Suzerain of Cost&Caution SleepyWitch's Avatar
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    this one is really sweet, Pensive, keep going

    edit: just thought of something:
    your poem reminded me a bit of this one by Adrian Henri (haha, it's one out of the two or three poems by 'real' poets I know, so don't take my humble contribution seriously ).. I thought you might like this one.
    your line "Love will find a way" reminded me of "Love is...".. both lines are very powerful but yours alludes to the power of love while Henri's 'only' says that there's no real explanation for why we love somebody.

    Love is…
    By Adrian Henri


    Love is feeling cold in the back of vans
    Love is a fan club with only two fans
    Love is walking, holding, paint-stained hands
    Love is…

    Love is fish and chips on winter nights
    Love is blankets, full of strange delights
    Love is when you don't put out the light
    Love is…

    Love is the presents in Christmas shops
    Love is when you're felling Top of the Pops
    Love is what happens when the music stops
    Love is…

    Love is white panties lying all forlorn
    Love is a pink night-dress still slightly warm
    Love is when you have to leave at dawn
    Love is…

    Love is you and love is me
    Love is a prison and love is free
    Love's what's there where you're away from me
    Love is…
    Last edited by SleepyWitch; 03-15-2006 at 10:44 AM.

  5. #5
    Springing Riesa's Avatar
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    I like this a lot Pensive!! My only suggestion, and it's just my opinion...is if you would just leave only one "love will find a way" at the very end, it would make it more powerful. I just love it though, it's very charming.
    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

  6. #6
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Hi Witch, this poem is great.

    Riesa, Thanks very much plus you are right that I should have left just one Love Will Find A Way in the end, but then if I will do so, it might spoil the rhyme and rhytm.
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  7. #7
    Springing Riesa's Avatar
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    Perhaps, although I don't think so...and then you have would have a little mystery too!

    Again, my opinion, it's still enchanting just as it is.
    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

  8. #8
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riesa
    I like this a lot Pensive!! My only suggestion, and it's just my opinion...is if you would just leave only one "love will find a way" at the very end, it would make it more powerful. I just love it though, it's very charming.
    Pensive
    Yes I really liked it. I agree with Riesa. One "love wll find a way is enough". Unless you want it to be more of a song. Then the repetition acts as a chorus.

    I liked this best:
    Sung by birds
    Dreamt by trees
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  9. #9
    Pensive,
    While only that one phrase or in every lie seemed a thing to maybe stumble over (though not necessarily), I found the whole flow to be perfectly forward in motion, neither widening into too broad a horizon to take in, nor thinning out in substance at any point. The whole structure is so pleasingly perfect, like well cast metal.

    I additionally liked that it has that form that could be applied to supernatural Invocations, like a calling on the Grace of GOD in Faith. While not claiming that such was your intention, the form is that which is conducive to such a function, and there is much like it in both Gaelic and Armenian and even Hebrew poetry - yet, as with much of that other material, the form becomes fresh with your unique expression of personal hope.

  10. #10
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Thanks, Virgil and Milali. Great encouragement and advises from both of you too.

    Virgil and Riesa, Now, I think that I should edit it but then the porblem will be that it will be too small. I am also afraid of "editing" in poems. Next time, when I will write the next poem, I will keep all these things in my mind and I hope that I will not do the same mistakes again and it will be better.

    Thanks again for reading and giving this poor poem some of your time.


    Well, If I only write the "Love will find a way" in the end; then the poem will be like:

    Beneath the stars
    Beyond the moon

    Along the river
    Across the sea

    On the earth and in the sky
    In any truth or in every lie

    Sung by birds
    Dreamt by trees

    Hidden in the book
    Blooming in the flowers

    In rainy season, in the shape of rain
    Travelling through every track like a train

    Everywhere; here or there
    In any form or like a storm

    Love will find a way

    Now, you guys can decide better than in which way you liked the poem better?
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  11. #11
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Yes, Pensive. I prefer that second version.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  12. #12
    rat in a strange garret Whifflingpin's Avatar
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    I thought it a delightful poem, except for the line "Travelling through every track like a train." The sudden rhyming couplet and alliteration sounded forced (where the other rhymes of "sky/lie" and "form/storm" did not.) Or maybe it was the introduction of machinery into the otherwise natural setting that grated.

    I take it that you are familiar with the 17th century poem "Love will find out the way," on the same theme.
    Voices mysterious far and near,
    Sound of the wind and sound of the sea,
    Are calling and whispering in my ear,
    Whifflingpin! Why stayest thou here?

  13. #13
    Springing Riesa's Avatar
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    Pensive, I like it best the second way, too. Don't worry about it being 'small', some of my favorite poems are tiny.
    "Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house, they are company and don't let me catch you remarking on their ways like you were so high and mighty."

  14. #14
    I'm a shadow of myself adilyoussef's Avatar
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    I vote for the second. It's lovely little girl. Great work.

    Oh! life you'r but hell
    Oh! hell you'r but in me
    When I'v lost your love
    I'm lost in an ocean of destiny

  15. #15
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Thanks adil and everyone, so the second one should be final now.
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

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