What is love?

**Aragorn** · 03-10-2006, 08:29 PM

I am from China, I am still in university. I was wanderring in the net yesterday night, and happened to enter this forum accidently.
I have a queastion for you guys. I really need your help.
my question is......
does love exist? if it exists, then what is it like?
my girl freind left me yesterday. she said she's out to look for a rich man and she said if i could give her a BMW right now, she would come back right now.
we have been together for two years.
really? two years' loving can not go beyond a BMW?

**fzeko** · 03-10-2006, 10:24 PM

my question is "what the hell is love"?

i have been trying to figure out that question for the past two and a half years since i started falling in love with my ex boyfriend and i realized that the more you try to figue out love, the more complicated it gets.

everyone experiences love differently and yes, love does exist in many various ways; you just have to be able to be open and receptive and have good insight.people love us in their own unique ways but if it is not our way than it is not enough.

i am not sure if the BMW is the issue here but do you really want to have back a woman that is setting materialistic barriers in your relationship? good love is supposed to be unconditional in a rational way though and in accordance with our needs as well.

i am sure everything is black and white for you now but give it some time and get some prespective in the issue and let the feelings run their course and slowly you will feel better and time wil help you recover.

remember that no one has died of a broken heart (just trying to make you laugh) and you allow this experience to teach you things about youself and help you grow emotionally and spirituality.

**Xamonas Chegwe** · 03-10-2006, 10:30 PM

On one tune lovesickness finally broken heart alone tall building looks the completely sorrow of parting

**bluevictim** · 03-11-2006, 03:47 AM

The thread title triggered a bit of a flashback.

What is Love -- Haddaway

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love?

**Aragorn** · 03-11-2006, 09:02 PM

Thank you guys. That's true if materialistic things matter, that's no need to hang in there.

Now I think, when you pass the crush phase, love is more like a habit. You just used to those things. sometimes, you will be tired, but when you look back, home is always the sweetest.

nowadays, you have learn to love.
love is based on those things, presents, and holidays.
besides that, there's only sex.
it's sad thing, sometiems you watch TV or read novels, watching so many romantic love going on. you will think, Oh, that's nice some day i gonna get that.
But, in fact, these unconditional love never exists in real life.
because the imaginations of the authors of these stories can fly, fly high in heaven; we, normal creatures can not.
we are limited to love.
maybe we just don't think too more of love. just treat it as a usual staff.
not the meaning of life

**lavendar1** · 03-11-2006, 11:54 PM

Originally Posted by Aragorn

But, in fact, these unconditional love never exists in real life.
because the imaginations of the authors of these stories can fly, fly high in heaven; we, normal creatures can not.
we are limited to love.
maybe we just don't think too more of love. just treat it as a usual staff.
not the meaning of life

I'd have to disagree with you on that one, Aragon -- for 'real' love is unconditional; it simply is; it exists outside time and circumstance. Don't be fooled that love is contingent on its being returned to you.

Have you ever heard a song called "Give it Away" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? While I'm not a particular fan of theirs, I do believe in the lyrics of that song -- saying we should not be afraid to love - to give it away to others without even needing for that gift to be reciprocated.

Sure, it hurts when those romantic feelings aren't returned -- but would you rather that you had never felt that way? Of course not!

Time is a good teacher; trust in it. And never give in to beliefs that real love - unconditional love - isn't in the cards for you; it's up to you to permit it. There are few things in this life that are pure - love is one of them.

**Aragorn** · 03-12-2006, 05:39 AM

[QUOTE=lavendar1]I'd have to disagree with you on that one, Aragon -- for 'real' love is unconditional; it simply is; it exists outside time and circumstance. Don't be fooled that love is contingent on its being returned to you.
QUOTE]

So what is love?
Is it pure sex? I think, according your words above, it's not?
Is it pure feeling? Is it pure giving and not asking anything back like is said is BIble?
I don't think so.
If love excits outside time and circumstance.
then lets trace back to the stone age: Whydid these cave people get married? they just have to carry on the torch of human race, as animals do.
Later our forefathers invented language and everything, then, we started to have culture.
slowly, the brain of theirs developed, and started to think about more things than sex.
We should never underestimated the power of intellectual. They thought a lot more than others and even read down their thought in books. That's when normal people began to realize, oh, we can love in this way, we can express our feelings in this way.
I think, that's how the concept of love formed.
Menfucius believed that there is a doctrine excits in the universe; It's there never change.
you say that love excits beyond time and circumstance.
my question is : Is the love beyond understanding and human knowledge.
If not, what is it like. can you describe it?
if you can do that, how to get that?
Is love a two-people thing or just one person's crush for another can be called love?

**Chava** · 03-12-2006, 06:29 AM

I met a boy last year. Mutual interests, etc. all that jazz. If I were a romantist, like he is, i would assume that it was love at first sight, that we were soul mates, or whatever. But being who and what I am, i just appreciate that there's a person whom i can live my life with, and get the most out of it. A person whom i can be sporadical with.
You see, if you're going to search for love, or find the meaning of life, it all get's very complicated. So i've chosen not to believe in all that stuff about there bieng one only one. that's just too depressing. But, with this darling boy, i can live my life in a way that i really enjoy without other compromises, and the fact that he does the same, shows a mutual "love". And now, we've been "together" for slightly more than a year, and curiously enough... we've never had a fight. It's love my dears, it's love.

What's more, i often find that people are insecure about if their "love" is correct, or the same as everyone else's. When really, love is just an attraction, a compassion, a real need to make life better for someone else. It's love.

**RobinHood3000** · 03-12-2006, 07:56 AM

I agree with Chava in that I seriously doubt there's just one person for everyone. Humans generally just aren't that picky.

I would definitely say that Ms. Beemer isn't worth your time. There are vast numbers of women out there who are less materialistic--statistically speaking, plenty of them are bound to enjoy spending time with you.

Still, I can understand your cynicism. It's tough to maintain a relationship and subsequently difficult to cope when such a relationship simply ends.

As for what love is, I think I'll wait until I have more time on my hands before explaining my perception of love.

**Virgil** · 03-12-2006, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by RobinHood3000

As for what love is, I think I'll wait until I have more time on my hands before explaining my perception of love.

Keep waiting Robin. I'm 44 years old, been married almost 15 years, knew my wife almost three years before marriage, and had a few relationships before her. I still can't put my finger on what it is. All I can tell you is that it evolves. The love I have for my wife is not the same love of our early days, or the same as that of our early marriage, and perhaps the same as five years ago. For love to last a life span, one has to re-fall in love with that same person (and everyone changes over time including yourself) once again at critical times. Perhaps that is why so many marriages fail, the failure to refall in love. That is why comittment is so important.

Growing up, my parents were constantly bickering and yelling at each other, perhaps the sterotypical Italian marriage. I always thought, no they're not in love with each other at least in the romantic sense. Well in the last year and a half my father has suffered some serious health problems that has him right now bound to a nursing home bed. I've never seen my parents show such affection to each other, caring for each other, comittment to each other. What can I say, that's love.

**RobinHood3000** · 03-12-2006, 09:29 AM

Well, I have a functioning definition of love that I use from day-to-day, but of course, like my belief system, it requires constant whittling, refining, and tinkering as I learn more and more.

**rachel** · 03-12-2006, 11:02 AM

1Corinthians 13 this is what I call true love:
The Attitude in Exercising One's Spiritual Gifts
13:1 If I speak with the languages of men and of angels,
but don't have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.
13:2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge;
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but don't have love, I am nothing.

13:3 If I dole out all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned,
but don't have love, it profits me nothing.

13:4 Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy.
Love doesn't brag, is not proud,
13:5 doesn't behave itself inappropriately,
doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil;
13:6 doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
13:8 Love never fails.
this is how I live and what love is to me. but that is me.

**lavendar1** · 03-12-2006, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by rachel

1Corinthians 13 this is what I call true love:
...this is how I live and what love is to me. but that is me.

Thanks, Rachel. Me, too.

There are times when I think maybe my Don Quixote delusions are kicking in by believing this, but then again no. I don't think so.

**ElizabethSewall** · 03-12-2006, 11:26 AM

I think love is a great many things actually. Plenty of feelings interwining. Elation and habits, questionning yourself constantly. Keeping principles but being able to forgive at the same time. Being here through happy days and sad ones. Wanting to make your beloved happy above all, even if it implies letting her or him go.

Virgil I liked what you said very much, about falling in love many times with the same person. This is so true…

Aragorn if the whole thing is about a BMW I don’t think she deserves your love. Take care and keep believing anyway…

**woeful painter** · 03-12-2006, 01:54 PM

Love for me is...when I don't know the answer why i'm in love with the person...I just am. I'll put up with everything, good or happy times, just so long as I'm with the person. And even a decade of being together still feels like were circling around from the beginning of our relationship, meaning things are still that romantic, engrossing, childish fights every now and then but are abruptly finished with a good game, movie, reading etc. Lastly, my love is not tolerative of all thoughts/actions such as being materialistic and so. This is not the definition of love...it's just me...