Wait a minute thats innercity teen slang. Or even more correctly chav slang. the rest of us dont use that .... we have a differant type of slang.
Wait a minute thats innercity teen slang. Or even more correctly chav slang. the rest of us dont use that .... we have a differant type of slang.
My mission in life is to make YOU smile
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"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:
Forum Rules- You know you want to read 'em
|Litnet Challange status = 5/260
|currently reading
I'm just better at guessing than you pensiveOriginally Posted by Pensive
I beat you into it, Aimus!
2/10: in which one was just a blind guess. This leaves me with "1" score. I must be a shame to these teens.
There is no darkness, there is no light, there is only Lasagne!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6183405.stmMillions of adults in England have reading skills too poor to enable them to belt out many favourites from a karaoke autocue, research suggests. The lyrics of the 10 most popular karaoke songs have been assessed and rated by government literacy experts.
Those tackling Robbie Williams' Angels needed the reading skills required to pass five good GCSEs (Level 2).
Experts from the Get On literacy campaign said 17.8 million adults would not be able to follow the song.
Those adults are estimated not to have not reached Level 2 reading skills.
They would also have trouble following the lyrics of Gloria Gaynor's I will Survive, the Commitments' Mustang Sally and Queen's Don't Stop Me Now, the research says.
These people may also have trouble working out a household budget or comparing products and services.
And the 5.2 million adults thought not to have attained Level 1 reading skills would struggle with Summer Lovin' from the film musical Grease, Elvis Presley's Suspicious Minds and Abba's Dancing Queen.
Those without this level of skills may not be able to check a pay slip or read bus and train timetables accurately.
Skills minister Phil Hope said: "Whilst we might think we know these tunes inside out, it's only on reading the lyrics properly that we realise that some of our favourite numbers are complicated.
"There are many pitfalls involved in public singing, but once you've got the mic in your hand you don't want your reading skills to let you down."
Wannabe
Anyone who is a wannabe Elvis or a secret Olivia Newton-John who sometimes struggle with the words should think about brushing up their skills in the New Year, he says.
"After all, getting help with your reading and writing could help you get on in your job, as well as improve your turn in the spotlight."
The government is offering hundreds of free courses to boost the basic skills of those who have a difficulties with literacy, language and numeracy.
The prime minister launched the Skills for Life Strategy in 2001 to tackle the legacy of adults with poor literacy, language and numeracy skills within England.
The strategy aims to help create a society where adults have the basic skills they need to find and keep work and participate fully in society.
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
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http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/...244606,00.htmlA new football team to rival the traditional giants of the Italian game is being planned - by the Vatican.
In a country where football is like a religion, the proposal has been backed by the game's leading European officials.
However, it is not known whether the side would be a domestic or international club as the Vatican City is a sovereign state.
Home games could be a problem as the Vatican - the world's smallest state - is the size of just five football pitches.
The God Squad idea has been revealed by Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Pope's "number two" and avid football fan.
He said: "I don't exclude the possibility that in the future the Vatican could field a football team of the greatest value, at the level of the most famous professional clubs."
Bertone said the huge number of Brazilian religious students at the Vatican could be drafted in to create a divine side, which would play in yellow and white.
A Uefa spokesman said: "The Vatican is a sovereign state recognised by the UN, and we would have no problem in accepting it as a member."
With God on their side, do you think anyone can beat this team?
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
Is it OK to go online on Christmas Day?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6200383.stmBy Stephen Tomkins
What are you doing reading this - haven't you got anything better to do, on this of all days? Do you, as the great poet said, know it's Christmastime at all?
I hate to leap to conclusions about anyone, but I say, from what I know of you, that you're an unsociable Scrooge, creeping away from the jolly throng singing carols around the tree, to check your e-mails, browse aimlessly, gorge on humbugs and skulk. You're probably not even wearing your paper crown.
Admittedly, you're not alone. Last year almost 1.3 million people found time out of their festivities to visit this website on Christmas Day. That's a fair few, but just a third of those who visit on a normal day. It seems there are plenty of people for whom family fun and a stodgy pudding have more attraction than the internet.
Of course there are all kinds of reasons why you might be reading this on Christmas Day, other than anti-social behaviour.
Perhaps your job is so important you have to come in to work today. Though if your job allows you to sit around reading this, what is so important about it? Go on, go home, where your delighted family will turn from the flickering fireside and offer you a roasted chestnut. No-one will mind.
Online addict
More likely, you're an addict. You're an internet user. You mainline online, and simply can't make it through to Doctor Who without your daily fix.
I bet when you come home from a holiday the first thing you do is turn on not the kettle or even the light, but the computer, to catch up with your spam, to see whether the worldwide web has missed you, and just because that chime makes you feel normal again. Don't worry, you're amongst friends now.
Or perhaps you just wanted to touch base with the outside world, to check with the BBC whether anything important had happened. Which is legitimate, in theory. Except that you're reading this, and if you believe it's going to get useful and informative in the second half, you are only fooling yourself. Addict it is, and the sooner you admit it the sooner you will be able to tear yourself away and go and have a drink.
That said, I should not overlook the possibility that you are spending the nativity season alone, without friends or family, through no choice of your own. In which case, I apologise for my insensitivity, and belatedly acknowledge that Christmas must be a miserable time of the year for some people, and I've probably made it worse, and I feel very bad about that. There, now you've spoilt my Christmas too. Thanks.
Then again, global reader, you may live in a part of the world where Christmas simply doesn't happen. Last Christmas, 39% of readers of the BBC news website were from outside the UK, compared to 31% on a normal day. That's a pretty watertight excuse.
Reality bites
Another possibility is that a merry Yule is going on all around you, but you refuse to let it happen to you. You may, for example, be a non-Christian who can't see why the fact that Jesus was born on an unknown date should oblige you to cover a fake fir tree with tinsel, eat sprouts and watch The Vicar of Dibley in his name.
You may, for that matter, be a Christian who can't see why the fact that Jesus was born on an unknown date should oblige you to cover a fake fir tree with tinsel, eat sprouts and watch The Vicar of Dibley in his name.
And yet, after all that, perhaps the reason you're surfing today is simply that it's something to do. We like to think that Christmas should be a day unlike any other, but once you've opened your presents, eaten your dinner and played with your children's toys, what you've got left is pretty much a day like any other, except with better TV.
The image we carry around of friendly robins, wall-to-wall jollity and snow-covered windows through which Dickensian lantern-swinging urchins sing God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen rarely seems to materialise. And when reality fails us, there's always cyberspace. So here we are.
Ah well, merry Monday, and a happy new week.
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
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If you believe even a half of this post, you are severely mistaken.
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
some amusing ecards
http://00fun.com/lifebefore.shtml
http://00fun.com/oxymorons.shtml
enjoy!!
6/7 Im amazed!
My mission in life is to make YOU smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:
Forum Rules- You know you want to read 'em
|Litnet Challange status = 5/260
|currently reading
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6241411.stmSaying sorry used to be a way of apologising, but these days the s-word has come to mean many different things, and its heavy use says much about modern British attitudes.
"It always seems to me that sorry seems to be the hardest word."
So sang a bespectacled, flares-wearing Elton John in his famous 1976 hit Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word.
Not anymore, Elton. Today, sorry seems to be the easiest word.
According to a survey of 1,100 people conducted by Esure car insurance company (famous for their "Calm down dear!" adverts starring Michael Winner), the average Brit will say sorry a staggering 1.9 million times in his or her lifetime.
The word sorry is uttered 368 million times per day in the UK.
The s-word was traditionally used to express regret for having done something wrong. Now, according to Esure, it appears to have "transformed into a common and over-used figure of speech that makes its way into most daily conversations".
WHO DO WE SAY SORRY TO?
37% of our use is aimed at partners
19% to strangers
14% to our children
14% to work colleagues
8% to friends
5% to parents
3% to siblings
1% to the boss
These days, we use the word sorry not only to express sorrow for a misdemeanour, but also as an alternative to "pardon" ("Sorry, I didn't quite catch that") and "excuse me" (as in saying sorry when we bump into someone - or even, rather bizarrely, when they bump into us).
The average Brit says sorry often, but admits that they don't mean it more than a third of the time.
A majority of Britons - 86% - believe that people use the s-word flippantly, as a cheap and convenient way of excusing anti-social or inappropriate behaviour.
Indeed, Esure found that saying sorry for actually having done something wrong - the traditional use of the word - is now at the bottom of the list of reasons why people utter the word.
In the top five reasons for saying sorry,
• number one is when we don't have time to speak to someone or do something ("Sorry, I don't have time to talk right now");
• two is to apologise on someone else's behalf, such as our children, a partner or a colleague ("Sorry, little Jimmy is always smashing things");
• three is when we didn't hear what someone was saying ("Sorry, can you repeat that?");
• in fourth place is when you want something to be explained to you again ("Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean");
• and right at the bottom, at five, is when we actually feel the need to apologise for having double-crossed, lied to or let someone down - "I'm sorry."
We are most likely to say sorry to our partners, and least likely to say it to the boss.
Twenty-seven percent of our uses of the word sorry are aimed at our partners; 19% are said to strangers; 14% to our children; 14% to work colleagues; 8% to friends; 5% to parents; 3% to siblings; and just 1% to the boss-man (or woman).
It seems Britain is developing a reputation as a nation of sorry-sayers.
One textbook for foreign people learning English, published by Longman in 1997, has a section on our peculiar use of the word "sorry".
Next to a set of illustrations of Brits saying sorry in various situations - "Sorry, can I say something?", "Sorry, you've given me the wrong change" - the book explains, "When people say 'sorry' in English, they are not always apologising". It then asks: "Do you use the same word for all these situations in your language?"
How did sorry become the easiest word? It used to be uttered sparingly, as a way of confessing both guilt and sorrow for a mistake. According to one Dictionary of Etymology, sorry has its origins in the Old English word 'Sarig', meaning "distressed, full of sorrow." Now we use it to mean everything from "What?" to "Whatever".
What explains Britons' endless apologetics, our over-reliance on the s-word in all sorts of situations?
For Mark Tyrrell, a psychotherapist at Uncommon Knowledge, a group that promotes personal development and emotional intelligence, a lingering culture of deference is to blame.
"Saying sorry so much is a deep-rooted British characteristic. The class system is largely to blame, as 'sorry' comes out of politeness, which is there for social cohesion.
"The new middle classes had to apologise for no longer being working class, but also for not really being upper class either. The vast majority of Brits belong to the middle classes so saying sorry has become endemic."
Tyrrell believes we also play games with the s-word, sometimes using it to our advantage.
"[In some situations], one partner tries to emotionally blackmail the other so they feel somehow at fault or guilty.
"We also say sorry a lot if we feel that we are to blame for something - which is called 'internalising' - such as when someone bumps into you and you end up saying sorry to them instead of the other way round."
Ed Barrett, a columnist for the satirical website Anorak who has written on modern manners and mores, thinks we sometimes say sorry to show that we are good, upstanding moral citizens, rather than as a way of actually taking responsibility for some wrong or other.
"Sorry is the comic tick of the nervous middle-class caricature found in old sitcoms", he says.
"And then today there is a rise in the theatrical public mea culpa apology - such as Blair's half-apology for slavery - which is usually about ostentatiously displaying oneself in an appealing light. It has nothing to do with contrition."
Barrett thinks there was actually something positive in the old "culture of deference", and it was a world away from today's narcissistic fashion for public apologising.
"Deference was not the same as subservience. Deference means paying people respect and treating them courteously out of deference to their age, position, experience or the service that they provide you. It is not just a case of looking up to people; it's as much about paying deference to your juniors or 'inferiors' as it is vice versa.
"True manners, true politeness, are about being considerate and thoughtful."
And perhaps if we were more truly thoughtful these days, we wouldn't be using "sorry" as a default word - almost as a get-out clause - everywhere from the home to the workplace to the street corner.
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
guilty guilty guilty, sorry even comes out when somen else walks into somthing. Sorry sorry sorry.(as in saying sorry when we bump into someone - or even, rather bizarrely, when they bump into us
My mission in life is to make YOU smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The time has come," the Walrus said,"To talk of many things:
Forum Rules- You know you want to read 'em
|Litnet Challange status = 5/260
|currently reading
An interesting read I was told of a couple of days ago: www.bloodbus.com
It is the adventures of a bus driver in Glasgow (think Taxi Driver but true)
There once was a scotsman named Drew
Who put too much wine in his stew
He felt a bit drunk
And fell off his bunk
And landed smack into his shoe ~(C) Ms Niamh Anne King
Now that one is funny!
I have a plan: attack!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6275997.stm
Each decade has its iconic poster. Man and Baby, which sold at auction for thousands this week, was the defining image of the 1980s, capturing the then nascent New Man and making fortunes in the process.
By the photographer Spencer Rowell's own admission, Man and Baby, or L'Enfant, is "a bit cheesy". There's a cute baby, but the eye is drawn to the buffed and muscular male specimen cradling said infant in his lap.
It made model Adam Perry a hit with the ladies, and a fortune for the photographer and the poster shop Athena, selling more than five million copies.
Twenty-one years after its release, at auction on Thursday, a print of the image went for £2,400 - considerably more than the price paid in the late 1980s by scores of students and young professionals keen to brighten up rented walls.
Today, pinning up posters remains a way to make a rented house a home. At Exeter student Simon Manning's flat, classic images - Audrey Hepburn and co - jostle alongside posters for bands.
The Blu tac ban familiar to many is still in place. But in a world of house makeovers, framed prints from homeware shops are also present.
The original Athena chain has folded, but a newer purveyor of pictures operates under that name on many a High St. For many of the chain's customers, the medium matters as much as the image, with large, chunky, frameless canvases popular sellers, typically of sunsets and seascapes.
Also popular with today's poster buyers are iconic images from the 90s, such as the Gallagher brothers and Pulp Fiction. Then there's the growing trend for DIY artwork - well, enlargements of our own digital photos.
But in past decades there were defining images - how and why were they so iconic?
THE 1960S: HENDRIX ET AL
Hendrix - everything a rebel wanted
Marianne Faithful in unzipped tight leathers for the poster promoting Girl on a Motorcycle summed up the music and film zeitgeist of 60s posters.
But the ultimate image was a monochrome Jimi Hendrix headshot, "because it's everything your parents didn't want you to have anything to do with," says David Lee, editor of art paper The Jackdaw.
"The long hair, spaced-out expression, the fag. Youth culture was about identifying with something your parents thought ridiculous."
This was the first generation to put the blown-up poster of his face on student walls and squatters digs - alongside other prominent rock and roll images, such as The Who guitarist Pete Townshend, arm aloft, about to windmill into a guitar chord. Or the psychedelic pink, yellow and green of Cream's Disraeli Gears album.
This was about more than simply expressing a preference for a rock band, says Mr Lee.
"It was nothing to do with rock 'n' roll. It was something new, because prior to that, everyone had been very polite, and in Pete Townshend, here was a guy who was about to smash his guitar to pieces."
THE 1970S: TENNIS'S SOFT SIDE
Enter the 70s, and walking away from the camera is a teenage model, tennis dress hitched up as she scratches her knickerless bottom. Tennis Girl by Martin Elliot is an image recalled by critics and public alike.
But experts find little to recommend such a popular image. Of those contacted, some refused to discuss the image - one dismisses it as "mere masturbation material" and another derides it as "of an unreconstructed time".
For Howard Sounes, the author of Seventies: The Sights, Sounds and Ideas of a Brilliant Decade, it is "just soft porn". And its massive sales can be attributed to "teenage boys who had it on their bedroom walls - if your mum would let you - or at public school, where they encourage that kind of thing.
"I don't imagine any girls bought it; I can't imagine any adult having it. It is the equivalent of a picture today of Kelly Brook in a playboy bunny outfit."
It has of-the-decade soft focus and muted colours. Dated it may be, yet its huge sales have made a lasting impression. Both Kylie and tennis player Anna Kournikova have recreated the image in photo shoots.
Mr Elliot admits his poster is "not a picture I would buy", but puts its appeal down to the seaside postcard spirit of the image, coupled with "one of the world's fantasies that you are going to see up a woman's skirt".
But for Mr Sounes, the defining images of the decade should be David Hockney's paintings, the Pompidou Centre, David Bowie, Joni Mitchell, above the "naff, nasty stuff" recalled by children of that decade.
THE 1980S: NEW MAN BARED
Three factors led Man and Baby selling by the truckload, says Andrew Renton, curating director at Goldsmiths, University of London and a Turner Prize judge.
The image of a smooth-chested hunk, skin to skin with a baby boy subverts more than 1,000 years of art history, replacing the Madonna and child. "The bloke is left holding the baby, and art history never did that before," says Mr Renton.
The 1986 image perfectly depicts the era's ideal of a caring, sharing New Man. A man toned, but not bulging; caring, not aggressive; "an impossible vision" of manhood.
Where young males bought Tennis Girl, young women plumped for Man and Baby - not just for eye-candy, but because of the message it gives off.
"It's not just 'phwoar', it's a much deeper rooted fantasy. It says 'I want this man and I want babies'. It's a complex fantasy that combines sexuality and a nurturing desire - but one wouldn't normally mean to be so public about it."
Today, it looks dated - the square-jawed model, the airbrushing, stonewash jeans, the Chippendale-esque pectorals, the man holding the baby while the power-suited woman goes off to run the company.
"It's definitely the 80s equivalent of the 70s Tennis Girl scratching her bum. It told us how reconstructed we had all become."
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6301525.stmA US advert starring Britney Spears' estranged husband, Kevin Federline, has angered a fast food trade group. The 28-year-old pokes fun at his stalled music career as he daydreams of hitting the big time while serving French fries at a takeaway.
The National Restaurant Association says the advert suggests restaurant work is "demeaning and unpleasant".
But advertiser Nationwide Mutual Insurance insists Federline is the only one being mocked.
The commercial will be shown on 4 February during the Super Bowl - US TV's highest-rated broadcast, commanding the highest fees for advertising.
Rapper Federline, also known as K-Fed, launched his music career amid a blaze of publicity but only sold 6,500 copies of his debut album, Playing with Fire, in the first week of its release.
The backing dancer-turned-musician split from Spears in November after two years of marriage.
Court papers filed in November revealed he plans to fight the pop star for sole custody of their two children.
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"It is not that I am mad; it is only that my head is different from yours.”
~
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