Firesign Theater

**starrwriter** · 12-29-2005, 03:22 PM

The most INSANELY hilarious comedy album I ever heard was: "How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All," by Firesign Theater. And the funniest skit on it was "Nick Danger, Third Eye (when two aren't enough.)" -- a spoof of the conventions of old detective radio shows. Nick Danger had first-person narration, cheesy special effects, sponsors, an on-air host and convuluted off-the-wall plots.

NARRATOR: Los Angeles, he walks again by night. Out of the fog, into the smog. (cough) Relentlessly, ruthlessly.

NICK: I wonder where Ruth is?

NARRATOR: Doggedly (woof woof), toward his weekly meeting with the unknown. At Fourth and Drucker he turns left. At Drucker and Fourth he turns right. He crosses MacArthur Park and walks into a great sandstone building.

NICK: Oh, my nose.

NARRATOR: Groping for the door (phone rings), he steps inside (ring) climbs the thirteen steps to his office (ring). He walks in (ring). He's ready for mystery (ring). He's ready for excitement (ring). He's ready for anything (ring). He's... (answers phone)

NICK: Nick Danger, third eye.

ROCKY ROCOCCO: I want to order a pizza to go and no anchovies.

NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name Danger! (Hangs up.) Well, now, the gum's on the other shoe.

(Rococo is a takeoff on the Peter Lorre character in the film "The Maltest Falcon.")

NICK: My nostrils flared at the scent of his perfume: Pyramid Patchouli. There was only one joker in L.A. sensitive enough to wear *that* scent -- and I had to find out who he was!

"The Case of the Missing Shoe" includes commercials for Rat-in-a-Box, Lawyer's Hospital, Boobie Chew, Duck-Flavored Coffee ("it's the real decoy!"), Ol' Faithful Scotch (it comes back upon you every hour.)

Other albums from the 1970s have titles that hint at the zany contents:

Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers
I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus
Not Insane Or Anything You Want To
Everything You Know Is Wrong!
In The Next World You're On Your Own

Firesign Theater consists of Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, Phil Proctor, David Ossman.

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**rachel** · 12-29-2005, 04:05 PM

Wow, it seems the sixties were very good to that bunch. I doubt if they have been straight in twenty years.
I love spoofs, especially about the Sam Spade era.
I am beginning to get the strange feeling Starr that you really do just lounge around the old pool and drink and eat and then plunge into the ocean and watch the fishes.
How do you fill in all your hours and do you not get really bored?
How about starting your own publishing company and get on with getting all those good books on to the market. I would rather read something you made up then something you have read or listen to unless of course it is one of the classics.

**starrwriter** · 12-29-2005, 04:45 PM