Unrealistic Romantic Expectations

[starrwriter]

Pay attention and take notes because there will be a quiz later on. The subject is unrealistic romantic expectations.

Women want a hunk with boyish charm who will make their girlfriends GWE (green with envy), the politically correct sensitive man of their dreams. In the words of a TV commercial he must have bad boy looks without bad boy behavior. He must be strong and decisive, yet amenable to reform -- the essence of an oxymoron or some type of moron.

Men are looking for an indulgent mother, female pal and passionate lover all rolled into one woman -- an angel with the body of a Playboy centerfold to make his friends GWE. This mercurial creature must never change from the woman he fell in love with on day one. If she so much as smiles once at another man, she is disqualified as a slut.

The biggest losers of all are men and women who settle for temporary relationships so they will seem "normal" and not losers. This is a holding action until something better comes along. The holder never realizes that if something better was actually available to them, they would have found him/her in the first place.

On the other hand, a realistic couple accepts each other warts and all. The woman resigns herself to the fact that she's dealing with a male animal who is much more interested in doing the nasty than talking about his feelings. The man accepts the fact that his mate is an ever-changing and slightly neurotic creature who needs backup. He gets nookie, she gets emotional support. They grow old and fat together and at times live happily ever after -- the best outcome sane people should expect.

Note: Please don't be pedantic and point out I am generalizing and/or oversimplifying. Of course I am. Did you think this was going to be a PhD thesis? Just exempt yourself if my remarks don't pertain to you (as I'm sure most of you will.)

[Nightshade]

((g))
Interesting.............. personally Im goping to be the spinster librarian cats and all so Im exempt

[starrwriter]

Interesting.............. personally Im goping to be the spinster librarian cats and all so Im exempt.

You're too lively to end up as a spinster. Some guy will chase you until you catch him.

[papayahed]

You're too lively to end up as a spinster. Some guy will chase you until you catch him.

hahaha now thats funny!


I can't believe I'm goping to say this, even as I start to type my fingers are starting to feel like lead and it's getting harder to type.... I sort of agree with you starr. In fact sometimes it's so easy to settle into a temporary situation that you don't even realize it.... hmmm...experience maybe....

and is it possible to miss that something better while being wrapped up in "just ok"?

The holder never realizes that if something better was actually available to them, they would have found him/her in the first place.

huh?

[RobinHood3000]

Is it so awful to dream of perfection? And besides, perfection is in the perception. My theory is that if you connect well enough emotionally with someone, their attributes will become the ultimate in their respective arenas by virtue of vision.

[starrwriter]

I can't believe I'm goping to say this, even as I start to type my fingers are starting to feel like lead and it's getting harder to type.... I sort of agree with you starr ...

It must be snowing in hell.

[emily655321]

Is it so awful to dream of perfection? And besides, perfection is in the perception. My theory is that if you connect well enough emotionally with someone, their attributes will become the ultimate in their respective arenas by virtue of vision.

I agree with you, Robin. Perhaps we're just two idealistic young'n's. Time will tell, I suppose.

Of course we all have a little idea in our mind of what the "perfect" relationship would be, but then, isn't perfection awfully boring? And isn't love meant to be exciting? I don't mean "exciting" as in an ongoing struggle. I mean, I could hypothetically draw up a description of the "perfect man" for me. But if I met that person in real life, I'd probably find him so boring I wouldn't give him a second look. What makes someone attractive is the person they are, not the extent to which they meet a list of preconceived criteria. And what makes love fun is snuggling with your best friend, and enjoying all the quirky little things that make them who they are. If you're out there looking for a specific type of person, no one will ever appeal to you (doesn't the Greek myth of Narcissus address this?), and what's worse, you will devalue the person you do have. (Possibly even call it "settling for something less.") My boyfriend loves Woody Allen and Paul Simon. I can't stand either of them. But I wouldn't have him any other way, because his interests are what make him who he is, and that's the person I like. I think, in fact, that he once said it best. He told me, "You know what I like best about you? How very 'you' you are."

[Countess]

I agree with you starwriter - what women want amounts to a gay man who is straight and men want their mom.

Strangely enough, when they find one another they run the hell away from each other - I kid you not. I'm in a friendship now that qualifies - but he'd rather be with a physically and emotionally abusive woman.

Whatever. Life is too short. That's why I'm blissfully content with the man of my imagination, who is the content for many / most of my stories and all of my fantasies.

Who needs realism when you have a rich imagination?

Countess

[starrwriter]

I agree with you starwriter - what women want amounts to a gay man who is straight and men want their mom. Strangely enough, when they find one another they run the hell away from each other - I kid you not. I'm in a friendship now that qualifies - but he'd rather be with a physically and emotionally abusive woman. Whatever. Life is too short. That's why I'm blissfully content with the man of my imagination, who is the content for many/most of my stories and all of my fantasies. Who needs realism when you have a rich imagination?

Well put, Countess. I think you're a refreshing breath of honesty in a woman.

[Scheherazade]

It must be snowing in hell.

Nope, we haven't had any snow here this year... Been unusually warm!

[emily655321]

Well put, Countess. I think you're a refreshing breath of honesty in a woman.

*duely notes the location of Starr's tongue, yet chooses to proceed*

How about, it's refreshing to meet a woman who thinks the way you do? Just because other women might not believe the same, doesn't mean they're dishonest. Not all women want the same thing, and neither do all men.

One of these days I'm going to make you admit your view of reality isn't universal, just you wait.

[starrwriter]

Just because other women might not believe the same, doesn't mean they're dishonest ...

I can't win with you ladies. Compliment one and another jumps down my throat.

One of these days I'm going to make you admit your view of reality isn't universal ...

Better correct than universal.