second chances.....

[baddad]

We often wish for such a thing as 'second chances'. Sometimes our wishes are granted. More often, time beats us back, retrieves such loss and binds its insided a skin we can not penetrate, we cannot recall and excuse. So second chances are a gamble, not to be depended upon.

Second chances can be varied; we wish to take back a hot, maybe viscious retort, or we wish we had hugged, loved, forgiven, or understood those we have interacted with.

The 'Gods' that grant second chances are fickle. Don't trust them. Live, love, scream, dance naked to your favorite tune, love life, revel in the randomness of your own strengths.......otherwise...........you are ripping off the world, withholding your uniqueness favors none.................

[papayahed]

Is this about me?

[papayahed]

ok, after reading the other I realize this isn't about me. But it does help clarify a situation.

[Ancestor]

We humans do seem to take alot for granted and I am not exception to that rule. We should try to appreciate and validate those whom are in our lives for tomorrow we may be breathing although hope we will be still among the living. It seems to have hit close to home for you papayahed I hope that baddad's words helped you. Walking our paths of life is not always easy but I walk them trying to let those whom I love that they are truly loved. Take care,

[Koa]

The 'Gods' that grant second chances are fickle. Don't trust them. Live, love, scream, dance naked to your favorite tune, love life, revel in the randomness of your own strengths.......otherwise...........you are ripping off the world, withholding your uniqueness favors none.................

It took me more than 20 years on this stupid planet before really realising... but since one year ago I do not care or wait for anything... I just LIVE it as best as I can (though I'm still learning to...)... as they say, CARPE DIEM.

(there is a wonderful Latin poem called Carpe Diem, as you might know...I had two beautiful translations, but not into English)

[kilted exile]

I was lucky enough to get a second chance and I have no intention of taking it for granted, because I'm reasonably sure I wont be getting a third.

[subterranean]

I had second..no fourth...chances with someone...but as I was a screwy, I blew each of them...

Point is I do believe in second chances...

[lhaeber]

I find when I get second chances, I usually don't care anymore, I just wanted the second chance. Maybe to prove I could get it. Upon reflection that means that I am shallow and a power seeker...and maybe I set myself up to fail or to "blow it" thus requiring a second chance.
But, having said that, I also give second chances and many more than that, so it makes up for it, no?

[starrwriter]

Has anyone seen the John Frankenheimer film "Seconds"? It sums up what I think about second chances. You only get one real chance, but once is enough if you do it right the first time.

[confused1]

Second chances are present choices......

[baddad]

Oh my!!

Here is a tale appropropriate to this thread, although some may think it a little bizarre.....

*remembers where he is, the crowd that hangs out here......realizes this tale won't even raise an eyebrow in this particular crowd...*

I have a friend. We have known each other for twenty five years. When we first met she had an incredible crush on me. I was hot for her. I told her she was too young for me. She was 17yrs old at the time, I was 22yrs old. I would not sleep with her.
We have 'known' each other since shortly after that.
We have only seen each other infrequently over the years, perhaps once or twice a year, both of us having had other spouses, children, geographical locations, etc. in the meantime. But we always stayed in touch, always insisted no one ever come between us....not our boyfriends or girlfriends, not even our husbands and wives, and we were allowed to remain close.

Cindy and I have always had a 'spark' between us, a silent love stronger than any relationship either of us have ever had, including those with families. We talk often, about everything and anything. We share things we would not ever tell anyone else alive. We have never judged each other. NEVER. This may seem an impossibility, but it is absolutely true. We have always treated each other with respect. ALWAYS. This is more difficult than many people expect. And to sustain these qualities in a relationship over the span of 25 years, to sustain these qualities naturally, with no conscious effort........ well, its practically unheard of.

Cindy's husbands let me borrow her many times over the years. My wives lent me to Cindy many times over the years. And we loved each other, and still do, very much. Even our respective children (whom we each have known the other's since birth) were aware of this, and still are. And no one ever questioned it..........

I finally questioned the relationship myself. Recently.

In all those 25 years everyone assumed our relationship was platonic. Hell, sometimes we fooled ourselves into thinking this.

One month ago I told her that 25 years of this relationship just became clear in my mind.

I realized I was 'In Love' with her. Always had been since the first day we met. I just wouldn't admit it out-loud, or even to myself. I finally said it out loud.

Cindy said, "I'm so glad you said something out loud, because I feel the EXACT SAME WAY, and I always have..." So we talked. And talked. And talked. We talked for two days. And.....

...Crap!! It was true, it wasn't all in my mind, or just some 25 year infatuation, or worse still, some fanciful delusion, the product of all the voices in my head. We were/are in love. Head-over-heels-puppy-teenager-always have to touch each other-love. The kind of touchy-feely-groping can'tgetenoughever love that many of us so often long for......and the behaviour that repulses our friends if they must constantly witness it....."get a room" a common retort.......

When I am driving, and she drapes herself around me, legs wrapped around each other from ankle to hip, one hand or two touching a neck, a cheek, stupid dreamy looks draped across our mugs....we forget that we are not teenagers. We have forgotten any other life has ever existed, except the life we have had with and centered around, each other. It is as if we have circled each other for all these years, waiting for an opening, a chance to pounce...

Our respective children are long grown but still a huge part of both of our lives. they seem to understand quite well, have even mentioned that they are jealous, had forgotten the feeling themselves, the original depth of emotional love that brought them and their spouses together in the first place..........

Cindy left her husband yesterday.

She left him for me.

It was very difficult. It was difficult for everyone. She told him the truth about how she felt, wanted him to somehow understand......wanted to lessen his pain. Wanted him to somehow understand the vagaries of life and how this point had been arrived at over the course of two and half decades. She wanted to explain the powerlessness that we felt, how it was an impossible feat to continue denying so strong a truth. I'm not sure what comfort we offered. I'm not sure we could ever manage such a fear. Yet we are as suprised as everyone else. We didn't expect it either......

There was no evil intent on our part, no long running affair in its most common sense, no clandestine meetings.....there was only these feeling we have had for so long.....

And now she is here.

And I am ecstatic, as is she. We dream of spending the rest of our days together. We are going to try.
We both struggle with the implications for those others that we love, our families, ex-spouses, the morals and principles we have always eschewed which now seem to ring hollow or appear in tatters, somewhat beaten up and severely bruised and bleeding.....

But again, we both have beliefs, an awareness of Karma, the interconnectedness of all things in the universe and would never harbour evil intent toward anyone...and so we can regain the contentedness we usually posesss, regain the respect for ourselves that we each so thrive upon.......

And we are beaming...........it is quite sickening to watch actually........


But then, second chances are not always pretty..............

Carpe Deim friends...........peace and love to all at this thoughful time of the year.

[rachel]

I cannot understand how the two of you didn't understand from the beginning that you truly loved one another, didn't communicate it one to the other.
I am thrilled for the two of you but grieved for Cindy's husband. totally grieved. If only the two of you could have been honest with one another others wouldn't be broken hearted. I hope Cindy's ex finds the same sort of forever love you two have found. And considering all that you have gone thru I hope it lasts. really.It is the rare person that finds his/her true soul mate i am thinking. Not that the person didn't come into one's life but that the eyes of understanding weren't exactly focused on the right one.

[Stanislaw]

Second chances, hmm. I beleive in them, I just resent is all. I was given a second chance, and I really wish I hadn't been. oh well. heh, second chance aren't good, they are another burst of power to a careening entity ment to keep them awake for impact.

oh well, maybe too depressing, but tis my opinion

[starrwriter]

Second chances, hmm. I beleive in them, I just resent is all. I was given a second chance, and I really wish I hadn't been. oh well. heh, second chance aren't good, they are another burst of power to a careening entity ment to keep them awake for impact. oh well, maybe too depressing, but tis my opinion

You sound like Camus' ending to his novel "The Fall." Where the anti-hero says most people don't get a second chance fortunately.

[Nightshade]

22+25= 77?!
is that right?
no wait that can be right checks age poll
whats wrong with my adding?