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Thread: Funniest quotes

  1. #16
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    Was it Oscar Wilde who said 'I can resist everything except temptation'?

  2. #17
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    What about Groucho?

    "I never met a man I didn't like, but in your case I'm willing to
    make an exception."

  3. #18
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    Nature has given us two ears, but only one mouth.

    - Benjamin Disraeli, Henrietta Temple

  4. #19
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    "Facts change, but opinions don't."

    Walter Cronkite

    Quoted by Harry S. Dent, Jr, "The Demographic Cliff", page 227.

  5. #20
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    'Who loves not wine, woman and song,
    He is a fool his whole life long!'

    William Makepeace Thackeray, A Credo

  6. #21
    Artist and Bibliophile stlukesguild's Avatar
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    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress .. But I repeat myself." -Mark Twain

    More true than ever.
    Beware of the man with just one book. -Ovid
    The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.- Mark Twain
    My Blog: Of Delicious Recoil
    http://stlukesguild.tumblr.com/

  7. #22
    Artist and Bibliophile stlukesguild's Avatar
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    “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
    -Will Rogers
    Beware of the man with just one book. -Ovid
    The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.- Mark Twain
    My Blog: Of Delicious Recoil
    http://stlukesguild.tumblr.com/

  8. #23
    Artist and Bibliophile stlukesguild's Avatar
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    Don't forget Ambrose Bierce:

    War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

    Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

    Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
    Beware of the man with just one book. -Ovid
    The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.- Mark Twain
    My Blog: Of Delicious Recoil
    http://stlukesguild.tumblr.com/

  9. #24
    Alea iacta est. mortalterror's Avatar
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    Back in high school I was a big fan of Ambroce Bierce. I liked his definition of Exile so much I wrote it down in my journal:

    EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.


    An English sea-captain being asked if he had read "The Exile of Erin," replied: "No, sir, but I should like to anchor on it." Years afterwards, when he had been hanged as a pirate after a career of unparalleled atrocities, the following memorandum was found in the ship's log that he had kept at the time of his reply:

    Aug. 3d, 1842. Made a joke on the ex-Isle of Erin. Coldly received. War with the whole world!
    "So-Crates: The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing." "That's us, dude!"- Bill and Ted
    "This ain't over."- Charles Bronson
    Feed the Hungry!

  10. #25
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    I don't remember who said this, excuse me. It was a certain public speaker or lecturer and it goes like this:

    Many times I noticed people looking at their watches while I was speaking, because they could hardly wait for the speach to end, but once I saw a man not only looking at his watch, but putting it on his ear to cheque if it was working at all.

  11. #26
    MANICHAEAN MANICHAEAN's Avatar
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    Timothy Timex.

  12. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by MANICHAEAN View Post
    Timothy Timex.
    https://www.google.com.tr/search?q=t...FcMWLAod4jAN8A

  13. #28
    Registered User UlyssesE's Avatar
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    Since Twain, Wilde, and Churchill have already been thoroughly named... how about the surprise entry of Socrates?

    "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher." A quote applicable to those in any type of relationship

  14. #29
    Registered User SkagBoy's Avatar
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    This from Stephen King has always tickled me:

    I'm the literary equivalent of a big mac and fries.
    love many
    trust few
    always paddle
    your own canoe

  15. #30
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    "A jealous women does better research than FBI"..

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