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Thread: Story openings

  1. #1
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    Story openings

    For my English homework, I had to write 3 story openings. I thought I'd post them here to gain helpful input...

    The first one:

    "Although fluorescent images of Father Christmas smiled at anyone happening to pass by, the afternoon was bleak. Rain gushed down the platform in great rivers as the woman in the red coat hurried onto the train. She had known from the moment she'd woken up that today was the day, the day her destiny would finally be fulfilled. This excited her, but also filled her with a terrible fear of what was to come. How had she got herself in so deep? Her life had changed completely over the last few months. She felt like a bystander, watching as her own life passed her by. But now was not the time for thinking. Now was the time for action. She smiled nervously to herself as the train sped on through the torrents, carrying her off into the darkness of the approaching night."

    The second one:

    "Sarah had often wondered what it would be like to just let loose and escape the confines of her sleepy town. She'd jump in the car, drive towards the horizon and never look back on her endlessly monotonous life. But now as she watched her husband sleeping on the other side of the bed, she knew in her heart this could never happen. To many people depended on her everyday. Oh how she wished she could leave it all behind! But for what? A few hours of freedom before Paul came looking for her? She was stuck where she was, and there was nothing she could do about it. She lifted the sheets over her face, and fell into an uneasy sleep."

    The third one:

    "As Adam drove, he became increasingly aware of an extremely strange phenomenon in the sky. As far as the the eye could see, the sky was turning a deep shade of green. He'd never seen anything like it. Sure, he'd watched a lot of spectacular sunsets, and seen some strange cloud formations in his time, but never in all his years anything as bizarre as what was happening now. He wouldn't tell Gemma, but this terrified him. “What's happening to the sky?” he asked Gemma, trying to sound casual. “I don't know Addy, but it sure is strange...” Gemma replied, her voice laced with curiosity."

  2. #2
    Hooray for Atheism dejosc's Avatar
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    there will be someone on with more literatory knowledge than me in a minute...probably
    They went with songs to the battle, they were young.
    Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.
    They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
    They fell with their faces to the foe.

    They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old:
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
    We will remember them.

  3. #3
    Voice of Chaos & Anarchy
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    Whether any of those would work would depend on the rest of the story, but all three are too descriptive. You shouuld jump into the action rather than describing the situation. If Sarah actually got dressed and got into her car, then changed her mind, that would be a better beginning. Dialog is also a good way to start a story.

    In the third one, this isn't a very good reply: “I don't know Addy, but it sure is strange...” Gemma replied, her voice laced with curiosity."

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    i ran out of ideas in the third one...and it's the start of a story, I'm just trying to make the reader read on and find out what happens you see. The point is to let the teacher speculate about how it carries on I think...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by twiz
    i ran out of ideas in the third one...and it's the start of a story, I'm just trying to make the reader read on and find out what happens you see. The point is to let the teacher speculate about how it carries on I think...
    The start of a story should have something that would make a reader want to read the rest of the story, and that's probably what your teacher would like to see. Take a look at some stories and see how they begin. Something that sets the scene, introduces a character or two, or something that introduces that conflict is what you want to start with. If you can introduce two characters and introduce the conflict and the setting, that is the ideal, but don't stretch too far.

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