Standing still watching the world
Collect and transform a multitude of shapes
Grasp and acknowledge worldly things
Loving everything, and soaking it in
I can feel the wind on my pale face
Where that wind goes... i have yet to embrace
I loved this world, but it has changed before my eyes
It is filled with desperate people, and all of woes and cries
But this world, through it's many changes
Is not standing still
It is trying to fix it, though it cannot at will
Can you still feel
that suppressed anxiety
Tumbling over with cries and confusions within you:
The blackest of black nights
Dissolves the horizon of pale light
Fighting to break through the sky
Where dreams are fading and hope dies
The world keeps changing
But I am still here,
Afraid of aging,
Trying to push away fear.
Our time has passed
And I am still here,
Searching my memories
For a bright night to sleep.
Running away from the changing night,
Where the people are hanging on tight,
Trying to break free,
Trying to follow me.
A new scar in the face
And still here I stand,
Looking in the mirror,
Who once tried to jump the fence.
But i didn't get over
i just fell down
i tried to get back up
but i couldn't get off of the ground
Sitting here
thinking of life
it's absolute value
equals negative both ways.
But another day starts
and in light i begin to see,
from the stars people calling out for me,
i look around but cannot see
They're so far away-What about me?
It is my sorrow of tomorrow,
to feel i've failed what others achieved,
I tried so hard-
you cannot believe.
Break in pieces my life events,
To try to figure out something I can emend,
Days and days and nights again,
Nothing is found-where was my life spent?
I remember a dream of a day,
one of those that are here to stay,
about a friend I wouldn't meet,
no matter how much i seek.
I'm not sad but tired,
I'm not a diamond nor a saphire,
I am one more changing piece,
Of a sadistic game of life.
Mixed and jumbled
a puzzle of this world
i try to fix myself
but i end up getting worse
i felt i should try
maybe get better
but with this yelling and fighting
my hearts gets weighed down by getting wetter
i feel so alone, with everyone moving on
i am the one being left back, cused by those before me
i am desolate and hated, by my peers as well as parents
i woiuld like to be left alone, but included also with no end
Thius mixed up world of mine
has begun to make no sense
with every step i take
my hearts just gets more tense
it cannot be fixed
yet cannot be broken
in an array of lives
i am in the middle... choking
But the sadness i feel
I don't totally understand,
I just know I'm not in command
And no one gives me their hand.
Siting alone in the world of mine,
created by me,
I am just fine.
It's out there I'm afraid.
The world is too big outside the walls
created by me,
They're not big enough-
I can't even dance a walse.
Alone in the room I read and I write,
with the moon by my side tonight,
And in the morning I am too aware of me-
must watch out for danger,
even though all I want to do is dream.
But the world rocks in my sleep
My dream is turbulent
Storms!
Storms!
Cease for a moment and let me listen.
But it never stops
it just keeps on going
this pain i feel
if good it would be flowing
some words i say
mean nothing to me
but to others they're deadly
they cast "insane" as a relation to me
I write down these words,
expecting to understand,
why they're more powerful than a sword
or a cannon-or a pen.
But while I write them down
they're power seems to fade,
as if I was in the middle of a parade
where the people are frown.
I think, I feel and I write
Reading the dreams of others,
Some in which they kill their mothers
and others in which they worship divine.
And as the moon rises high in the night,
And the clean streets go dirty,
I start to wonder what we would see
If there happen to be light in the gutter.
My pen is fainting
In my wordy hand,
Today no more painting
Tomorrow, maybe-if I can.
I will cry when it dies
i hope it will be the same of me
i want to live forever
but there are times when i don't even want to be
So this pen will keep writing
as long as i live
i am starting to get tired
but i have too much to give
Tomorrow came and I haven't sleep,
Lights and shadows mix up-it's a breeze.
Tomorrow came and I'm still alone,
To read or to write-it's destiny written in stone.
The hours pass and the days fly,
The years are gone and I will tell you why
Even if in my toughts I get lost,
Even if in time we cannot trust,
The reasons for this you must learn.
Living life can be of trobles
justice finds a way to lose
just come back and apologize
love is supposed to be in twos
So here i am, standing... watching the world.. again
nothing much is happening.. just chaos and pain
i know the people here might take me
they might leave me to become an insane
what they've already done...
an enigma of lies
i have tried to spread the truth
but what the truth becomes... a dead end
a place with no-where to go
I feel the wind coming onto me
i feel so lonely, desolate, full of loss
if you could fix me
if you could... why...
Courteosy is rare
inside my heart that's bare
i felt lonely inside
my own rules i did not abide
Crazy in their minds,
Staring at my life,
They make judgments-
Only lies.
Trapped in their middle,
Shouting in silence,
Why do I still stand?
Once. And again, and again...
Alone I admire,
And try to cut out the wire.
But it's me again,
Alone and admired.