To morning,

[white camellia]

To fight the pain in the silence? What caused the pain?

[mono]

Interesting subject, Nightshade.
I cannot quite find anything wrong with it, as you typed before the poem, but, I know, when a poet writes something, there always seems a fault that readers cannot see.
There seems, mysteriously, a hidden analogy to water. Perhaps you did not intend on relating this silence to water, but I almost related "the silence" with a suspension in water, especially with words and phrases like "rolling on waves," "the bait," "grey mist," and "suffocating from within." Could you have intended this coincidence? Perhaps not, but it seems a beautiful analogy, regardless - as depression, in its peaceful but torturous silence, can seem much like drowning in one's own emotion, in slow motion, as the surroundings continue, "above the water," so to speak.
Despite what you say, I think it well written.

[Nightshade]

To fight the pain in the silence? What caused the pain?

I think pain was a figure of speech anyway the last 2 lines mean pain is preferable to the hrrible Silence pain you can see feel interact with Silence is just there.

There seems, mysteriously, a hidden analogy to water. Perhaps you did not intend on relating this silence to water, but I almost related "the silence" with a suspension in water, especially with words and phrases like "rolling on waves," "the bait," "grey mist," and "suffocating from within." Could you have intended this coincidence? Perhaps not, but it seems a beautiful analogy, regardless - as depression, in its peaceful but torturous silence, can seem much like drowning in one's own emotion, in slow motion, as the surroundings continue, "above the water," so to speak.
Despite what you say, I think it well written.

No it was inteneded but that is exactly how it feel that suffocating paniccy feeling when your struggling in water and cant quite breathe. Thats what depression is like for me.
Thanks momo again a) because I would still be stuck there if it werent for writing this and I only did it on account of thinking I might as well benifit from the depression in my oetry after what you said. And B) just thanks for the errr I cant hink what to call it not Critisim but the oosite.
THanks

[Nightshade]

A clunking sound deep within me
A churning of gears, digging through my deepest fears.
I’m trying to write a poem.

Hopelessly confused
No longer amused –
Something has stopped the flow.

A drought has come
The words are dammed and I can’t find a hole
Where did all the verses go?

Are they here are they there,
Have they disappeared into air?
Someone tell me where!

Transmission faulty.
Creativity out of order
Diagnosis immanent.

That most annoying of afflictions
A binding of the mind, a drying of the world
Writers Block

My mind is caught in circles- lines repeating;
I’m trying to write a poem
Something has stopped the flow.
Where did all the verses go?
Someone tell me where!
Diagnosis immanent.
Writers Block
Writers Block
Writers Block
WRITERS BLOCK!

[Isagel]

Now you made me smile.

[mono]

I have felt this feeling too many times, but not for a while (hopefully, by typing this, however, I do not jinx myself ).
Hilarious, Nightshade! You explain well those torturous pressures when a writer of some kind sits in front of his/her paper and pen, or computer, or typewriter, and cannot possibly think of a first line, let alone a whole poem/story/play, etc. Somehow, though, you have written something very amusing out of your apparent writer's block.
Well done!

[Aurora Ariel]

I would advise anyone suffering from writers block to consider a few things such as: adventuring outside into inspirational surroundings, play or listen to thought-provoking music(classical is especially good), take a notebook out with you everywhere(even when not in class or home)and get a good night's sleep so you can rejuvinate your body and mind.I've even written poems that were dream-inspired and this reminds me of the famous example of Mary Shelley's waking dream which inspired the gothic 1818 masterpiece Frankenstein.She saw a horrific vision(the character Victor experimenting) which was the start of the creation of the book.It came to her in a dreamy state in the night in 1816 while staying at the Vila Diodati in Geneva, Switzerland with her lover Percy Bysshe Shelley and other fellow poets such as Lord Byron.So there are many ways in which one can help to combat writer's block and hopefully many great works of yours will result!
Also I was wondering how others usually compose pieces-do you write more on a laptop? or in a book or paper with pens?That has always been a bit of an interest to me and personally I do both...

[Nightshade]

Thanks Momo, Isagel. Aurora Ariel USually I use paper but This was composed at the computer because I was mad at not being able to write a narritive poem

[Koa]

This is just an ingenious poems... the last part is so great, with repeating the previous lines and then that 'shout' which is almost a rock song... Brilliant job Nighty!!!

I've been writer-blocked for ages, possibily years now, the little things I've written sound unnatural to me cos they werent made out of a powerful inspiration but trying to join inspiration with something else...

As for AA's question...I often think I should try to write at the computer, but if I am at the computer I can't help multitasking... I write only by pen on paper... I sometimes thought of carrying a notebook with me as I've happened to write on the back of a bus ticket or often on my mobile, like a sms which I then save and copy at home...

[Nightshade]

When the dreams have all faded away
like wisps on a windy day
When wishes have never come true.
How could I talk to you?

I stand and watch them play,
always its been this way
around me they sing and dance
and yet Im all alone.

In my bubble of lonliness I stand
Alone with my castle of sand
I watch them laugh and talk. I wish
I could do that.

You turn and come my way
Then there is somthing you say
IN my mind I turn and run
I feel caught in the sights of a gun.

I shrug and and away I turn
Another bridge I burn
Better the wolf you know
I like being alone anyway.

[Nightshade]

here is yet another experiment with words
-----------------------------------------------------
Today I woke up in a daze,
Butterflies on my lips
Smile in my stomach.

I sang as I drifted through the house
Slid across the floor in socks.
Tap-danced to a soundless song.

Wingless joy blossomed,
Like daffodils in the spring
I couldn’t think why,
Until I heard the telephone ring.

[Koa]

oh my god i shouldnt say this about a non-depressed poem () but...it's absolutely LOVELY!!!

[chispa]

Yes, I agree.....it is lovely!

[mono]

I think you always choose the perfect titles for your poems, giving the best introduction to any verse.
In terms of structure, the poem works very interestingly; the inconsistent rhyme reminds me much of Emily Dickinson's style (by far, one of my favorite poets of all time), yet it still carries a rhythm, to which I can almost tap my foot.
The subject matter seems filled with beautiful analogies. I especially like this one, reminding me of a child at the ocean, building sand castles alone: "Alone with my castle of sand / I watch them laugh and talk." And in these following lines, you demonstrate well the purpose of remaining alone, before you say it in the last line of the final stanza: "IN my mind I turn and run / I feel caught in the sights of a gun."
Very well done, Nightshade.

[mono]

anyideas???

Hmmm, no. For an "experiment with words," as Koa and chispa have said, this turned out beautifully. Reading this, I think, brightened my morning, after a horrible night's sleep, especially these memorable lines, combining human attributes with other interesting objects:

Butterflies on my lips
Smile in my stomach.

. . . and, this one, just because:

Tap-danced to a soundless song.