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Thread: Christmas Eve

  1. #1
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Dec 2010
    Under the trees deep in a cave
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    Christmas Eve

    The eve of Christmas
    And throughout the house
    Not a creature was stirring

    -except for the seven ugly friggin' monsters
    Dwelling in the cellar

    Know what I'm sayin'!?

    The stockings hung by the chimney
    Though filled with some hefty solid objects
    Weren't really going to be much protection

    The fire pokers were about the only thing
    That could be reasonably used as weapons
    But really, up against the scaly one and the slimy one
    And the hairy one, and the maggoty one...

    You get the picture

    So whose fault is this? Whoever built the house
    Over a portal to Hell? Or whoever forgot to lock the door
    Which simple act had kept them at bay for these many years

    Anyway damage done and the creeps were free to lurk and devour Santa's cake and biscuits and scull his lemonade

    Which they did

    Awoken by the kitchen clangour resounding
    Up the stairwell
    I leapt from the warmth of my blankets to investigate the ruckus

    I was confronted with a mess, worse than usual - they'd ripped open the presents and knocked the Christmas tree over

    Now I'd spent many minutes wrapping and decorating these things so my annoyance quickly rose to anger

    Grabbing the pokers I stormed into the kitchen where I found the culprits gorging themselves on the contents of my fridge

    Don't they feed them down there?

    I whacked one on the back of his head and he appeared
    Taken aback a bit before remembering his station

    Uh oh

    His eyes grew redder and he growled a bloodcurdling roar

    Instinctively I thrust the poker into his open mouth
    Which seemed to do the trick because he dropped to his knees
    And then fell face forward

    One down six to go

    As a fungusy one lurched at me I jumped to grab the skillet
    And slammed it into his head

    The odds were going my way

    I picked up whatever else was at hand
    Kitchen knives and cleavers

    Next was the severance of the tentacles and talons
    The deft removal of fangs

    I dispatched one after the other like there was no tomorrow
    Which may have been the case if they'd had their way

    I cleaned up the blood and guts before the cops arrived

    Monsters need to learn not to mess with hostile humans

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    May 2009
    Gold Country
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    A MystyrMystyry Christmas present !!!... Lol ! Enjoyed Merry Christmas !!!

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami


  3. #3
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Jan 2016
    Beyond nowhere
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    Thanks! Very fitting for the current times. Enjoyed!
    "I seemed to have sensed also from an early age that some of my experiences as a reader would change me more as a person than would many an event in the world where I sat and read. "
    Gerald Murnane, Tamarisk Row

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