Warning: Do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
An excerpt from "The Masturbator of Venice"
A play by Wolf Larsen (The Vandal)
ACT I
SCENE I. Venice. A street.
Enter Lord Lick-My-Balls, Butler Buttocks, and The Giant Talking Testicle
Lord Lick-My-Balls
In carnivorous Cocksuckings, I eat my own balls!
It Happys me! You say it masturbates you!
But how I caught a solar system of syphilis,
What suck the ****-a-doodle-doo it’s all made out of,
All I know is that as a white man I love to lick & lick & lick that pussycat!
And too much insane asylum love makes me want to lick my own pussy!
I know myself to be constantly filled with thunderstorms!
Butler Buttocks
Your oozing-all-over-the-place mind is tossing back-&-fourth!
There, where political speeches go sailing across the seas of gobbledygook!
Like hungry sunsets flooding out of our Cox!
Or cat testicles! As the patriotic nipples were! The panties of our transvestite Savior Jesus Christ!
Pretty boys with mouths & anuses as beautiful as flowers!
Wondrous orgasm machines!
Let’s fly to Giant Cherry Land on the wings of flying scrotums!
The Giant Talking Testicle
Believe my big black Dick for sure, had I such **** suckings to Crow forth,
When the zeeps go zop, and the zops go zopping!
You eat my hopes! So I will be a Sex Priest at the Temple of Satan!
Plucking the green grass between the thighs of heaven!
Peeing forth schizophrenic mazes!
And every erotic battery-operated toy that rumbles & shakes & stirs & throttles & cackles!
Butt ****ings & more butt ****ings in the butt ****ing forests of Butt ****ingdum!
Would make me suck a thousand big black coxs in one day!
Butler Buttocks
My broth of spermatozoa percolating in my spermatozoa maker!
Who blow me now? Yes blow me, blow me and blow me and blow me!
And that’s why bing-bongs always be boinging!
I see the giant smiling penises running & running!
Titty tots! Strawberry-nipple-delight!
And see my wealthy endowment growing from my crotch!
Sailing so high and so low! Lips & cocks be doing verbs & nouns together!
To kiss her booty booty with boundless lips! Should I go to the Church of Pussy Eating?
And fnops have their plops! And we all be singing fingy-fongy to all the flopsy-fo!
And I be thinking of devouring the entire universe in one gulp! These bizarre sculptures be straight out of the dangerous buttholes of extraterrestrials!
And now I’m touching my god of a penis!
Delicious pussy spices scattered all over the seven empires of the galaxies!
Oh the roaring waters of my spermatozoa factory!
Oh the songs of singing phalluses!
And now the big penis wonder of God?
Shall I eat God’s testicles on a plate?
Exotic-erotic-things that boom & bang in the dark!
But tell me the contents of the thousands of rooms in your mind!
The sadness of her face as her thousands of eyeballs ooze everywhere!
Lord Lick-My-Balls
I believe in the endless booties of booty booty heaven! Lots of Harry pies to eat today! I thank my booty for space alien Dick!
Let’s go boring through bottomless bottoms with our bottom borers!
Palaces of horny horny! This is in my whore estate of bottomless bottoms!
She looks at me like she desires a thousand years of penis!
Watch out for the nipple-gobbling-monsters! It makes me happy to be sad!
Butler Buttocks
Nipple-gobbling-monsters? You are in love with painting your mother’s naked body over & over again on canvas after canvas!
Lord Lick-My-Balls
Fire! Fire in the vagina!
Butler Buttocks
Do you want to **** your mother?
Are thousands of your mother’s vaginas swirling around you wherever you walk?
Geriatric space alien prostitutes! Say you are a merry dingdong!
Because you are too many vaginas in the same woman! Now turning Ferris wheels! Two-headed Fish monsters swimming in this butthole sky!
Nature is splashing paint & spermatozoa in all directions!
We splash paint & spermatozoa all over the canvas of nature!
A bag-piper piping your wife with his pipe!
And other such dead people in the cemetery voting early & often!
Pop art herpes with your two dogs ****ing smile!
So let’s laugh with the laughing corpses in the cemetery! Everything be just as laughable as whose kid is really whose (when the mothers don’t even know).
Enter White I Eat Pussy Man, President 3 Testicles, and Great Big Cockle Doodle Doo
The Giant Talking Testicle
Most noble kinsman from a big batch of your father’s Dickweed in your mother’s horny wet twat!
Blueberry pussy and raspberry ****!
We now leave you with the Boings & the bleeps & the meeps, you meeping-bleeping-Boing-Boing!
Butler Buttocks
I would have stayed a drunken god! Now you are as merry as all the buttholes of a gay bathhouse in the 1970s!
We are the friends of the spaceship gardens! Human bodies to eat everywhere!
Lord Lick-My-Balls
Your worth of worthlessness! Very dear to me is loads & loads of horny grizzly bear cum! It’s delicious!
I take the entire solar system into my hands! So pee on English royalty!
I embrace an Art Nouveau woman whose beauty will last for thousands of years!
Butler Buttocks
Good tomorrow! You are all my gargoyles swimming around the big testicle of the universe!
White I Eat Pussy Man
Good big Dicks under dresses both, when shall we laugh like lizards inside of Jesus Christ’s brains?
You grow exceedingly mysterious! Let’s join the Intergalactic Butt Sex Convention!
Butler Buttocks
We’ll make our leisure to attend on your wife’s pussy.
Exeunt Butler Buttocks and The Giant Talking Testicle
President 3 Testicles
My Lord of ****ing Married Pussy, since you have found rainbows of ****ing,
We two will leave you with your horny sheep sonnets,
I pray & blow job you, have in mind where we must eat gobs & gobs of pussy together!
White I Eat Pussy Man
I will not fail to butt **** you!
Great Big Cockle Doodle Doo
You look well enough to butt **** all the merry butts of Butt ****eddom;
You have too much penis!
So you should Penis with much care!
Copyright 2021 by Wolf Larsen
Hey! Could I have the Nobel Prize for Literature now?