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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 312

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 312

    HUMEROUS HAIKU # 5

    I tuck my knees in
    To my chest and lean forward.
    Thatís just how I roll

    CROWS HAVE FOUR WING FEATHERS

    Crows have four wing feathers,
    Ravens have five,
    Theyíre called pinions
    So, the difference between
    A crow and a raven
    Is just a matter of a pinion

    HOGWARTS ISNíT A PERFECT SCHOOL # 2

    Hogwarts isnít a perfect school
    But there are Heroes by the score
    They eagerly arrive aged eleven
    And get in through the Gryffindor

    THE FORESTRY COMMISSION

    There is new website
    For the Forestry Commission
    To out find information
    About any tree, just log in

    THEREíS NO FORMAL TRAINING

    Thereís no formal training
    For street cleaners
    As far as I know
    I am pretty sure
    They get straight to work
    And pick it up as they go

    PARTING THE RED SEA

    Moses parted the waters
    And left his people in awe
    But he had help on the day
    In the shape of a sea-saw

    AN INTERESTING THOUGHT

    An interesting thought
    Occurred to me
    Just the other day
    About those who play
    At a recital
    And also recite at a play

    SPORTING DECEIT

    An affair between a Sportscaster
    And my wife was my suspicion
    And when I found them, they were
    In the commentary position

    ON THEIR FIRST MISSION TOGETHER

    On their first mission together
    Aboard the Millennium Falcon
    Chewbacca made a Wookiee mistake
    When he killed Han

    GAMBLING WAS NOT CONDONED

    Gambling was not condoned
    And using the Force wasnít done
    However, the Jedi Knights
    Had a bet regardless and Obi Wan

    I DONíT RISE AND SHINE

    I donít rise and shine
    After a night of rest
    I just caffeinate and then
    Hope for the best

    WHEN THE HISTORY IS WRITTEN OF BRITAIN

    When the history is written of Britain
    Historians will just laugh at the joke
    About the crazy people in the Country
    Who put up with **** from the Woke

    I DONíT LIKE TO SPEAK ILL

    I donít like to speak ill
    However, without being rude
    I have to say you can't trust
    A dog to watch your food

    YOU MUST LEAVE LIGHTS ON

    You must leave lights on in the buildings
    When you lock up and go home at night
    For if burglars hurt themselves in the dark
    Its certain youíll be the one in the ****e

    IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS AT 4AM

    If the telephone rings at 4am
    Thereby disturbing your slumber
    Donít be angry if itís not for you
    It could have been the right number

    HUMEROUS HAIKU # 4

    The toughest job that
    I ever had, was selling
    Doors, from door-to-door

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Revenge... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2vVgXA3jHM

    lol... got a call at 5:30 am this morning: someone wanting to know if we'd like to take a survey

    "Its certain you’ll be the one in the ****e"... didn't get this one; one of those instances where we're separated by a common language ? Closest I could come up with was "lurche" (sic)

    HH#4... loved it!

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  3. #3

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