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Thread: Old Gray Truck (With an Apology to Dan Seals for Borrowing the Tune)

  1. #1
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Old Gray Truck (With an Apology to Dan Seals for Borrowing the Tune)

    I guess she’s not much to look at.
    She’s not much to drive—
    There’s a hole in the seat
    On the passenger side.
    The engine light stays on
    Because it gets stuck—
    But I really like driving
    That little gray truck…

    There’s a dent on the side
    Where my son took the ditch
    There’s a knob missing
    From the radio switch
    That radio skips and
    The CD player sucks—
    But I really like driving
    That little gray truck…

    The tailgate is missing
    Replaced by a board.
    There’s a chip in the windshield
    And trash on the floor.
    She skids on the ice
    Like an old hockey puck—
    But I really like driving
    That little gray truck…

    The driver’s door takes spells
    When it doesn’t want to close.
    The hood’s hard to open
    When you must check a hose.
    The engine sometimes runs
    On wishes and luck—
    But I really like driving
    My little gray truck!

    There’s more to this truck
    Than you’ll ever know;
    She might squeal on the curves
    And slip on the snow
    But she’ll take any back road
    If you’ve got the pluck—
    And if you’ll put your faith in
    This little gray truck!

    Pendragon
    11/8/2020
    Last edited by Pendragon; 11-10-2020 at 11:44 AM. Reason: Add a verse
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  2. #2
    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Your poem so much reminds me of my ugly wonderful four wheels, that got me to my blue-collar job, that paid my bills. Thank you.

    My truck was so ugly. But it was beautiful the way that it went through the snow and everything else that got in its way! (It had huge wheels!) I was working in Alaska at the time. My truck was my friend!

    I had to edit my earlier comments, because whatever I wrote last night when I was drunk, didn't make any sense to me when I woke up sober this morning.
    Last edited by WolfLarsen; 11-08-2020 at 11:56 AM. Reason: I was drunk when I wrote this, & it was incoherent
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
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  3. #3
    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Your poem is beautiful. One has to love a truck that gets you to work. Because work is a beautiful four letter word that keeps you from being homeless.
    Once again, I like your poem!
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
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  4. #4
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Could be rural Americana or otherwise... a light and pleasing touch. Enjoyed . Great to "see" ya !

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  5. #5
    On the road, but not! Danik 2016's Avatar
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    Good to see you driving around, even if the truck is a bit battered.
    #Stay home as much as you can and stay well

  6. #6
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Had to add in a verse.

    There’s more to this truck
    Than you’ll ever know;
    She might squeal on the curves
    And slip on the snow
    But she’ll take any back road
    If you’ve got the pluck—
    And if you’ll put your faith in
    This little gray truck!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  7. #7
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    Hi Pen. This is rather fun and a lot more enjoyable than the rather cloying maudlin sentimentality that oozes out of the original. You might want to pay a little attention to the scansion though. There are a couple of places that a very minor tweak would rectify the departure from rhythm. I'd be inclined to drop the first two words of S1;
    S4:
    "The driver’s door takes spells
    When it doesn’t want to close.
    The hood’s hard to open
    When you must check a hose.
    The engine sometimes runs
    On wishes and luck—
    But I really like driving
    My little gray truck!"

    Is s bit clunky and would flow better thus:
    "The driver's door, sometimes
    just don't want to close,
    and the hood's hard to open
    when the oil light shows.
    The engine runs often
    on wishes and luck
    But I really like driving
    My little gray truck!"

    Of course, should you ever decide to cast off the twin yokes of religion and respectability, you could indulge yourself in the obvious rhyme for truck

    Live and be well - H
    Last edited by Hawkman; 11-25-2020 at 06:08 AM.

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