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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 305

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 305

    IíM SOMETHING OF A JOKER # 7

    Iím something of a joker
    In fact Iím a crazy comic
    I have an experimental joke
    Sadly itís a bit formulaic

    PRISSY LEGHORN CROSSED THE ROAD

    Prissy Leghorn crossed the road
    Without any fuss or theatrics
    Because her husband Foghorn
    Said there was a man laying bricks

    NATURE IS A REALLY WONDERFUL THING

    Nature is a really wonderful thing
    But I particularly like Hummingbirds
    And there is a reason why they hum
    Itís because they donít know the words

    HUMEROUS HAIKU # 10

    On the bottom of
    The sea it twitches? because
    Itís a nervous wreck

    THE FIRST SIGN IS FORGETTING NAMES

    The first sign is forgetting names
    And that really makes you frown
    Then you forget to pull your flies up
    Finally you forget to pull it down

    A MAN ENTERED A BEST PUN CONTEST

    A man entered a best pun contest
    And he chose ten puns to submit,
    Hoping at least one pun would win
    Unfortunately, no pun in ten did

    6 SPRITES

    I went to the shop
    To buy 6 Sprites to sup
    But when I got home
    I realised Iíd picked 7 up

    TWO FISH WERE IN A TANK

    Two fish were in a tank
    And one said after pondering
    ďThis is a really nice tank
    But how do we drive the thing?Ē

    A MAN BOUGHT AN EXPENSIVE GERMAN CAR

    A man bought an expensive German car
    Primarily to impress his friends
    Unfortunately, he drove it into a tree
    And found out how a Mercedes bends

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TEA BAG

    The difference between a tea bag
    And Woking Football Club
    Is a simple one to discover
    A tea bag stays longer in the cup

    I PICKED UP A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY

    I picked up a bottle of Whiskey
    But something was wrong with it
    I didnít know what exactly, but
    I would get to the bottom of it

    SOMEONE STEPPED ON A JUICY GRAPE

    Someone stepped on a juicy grape
    That fell from the vine
    It made no utterance at its demise
    But did let out a little wine

    I HAVE A PHOBIA OF ELEVATORS

    I have a phobia of elevators
    Escalators and travellators
    I canít do any automated system
    So I take steps to avoid them

    ROSES ARE RED # 2

    Roses are red
    Apples are green
    You are a cutie
    And Iím really keen

    THE SAILOR COULDNíT PLAY CARDS

    The sailor couldnít play cards
    On the voyage back
    And that was because he
    Was sitting on the deck

    THE SECURITY SERVICES

    The security services
    Employ cannibal interrogators
    Specifically so they can
    Grill any of the perpetrators

    APPARENTLY IN DAYS OF YORE

    Apparently in days of yore,
    Evidence has come to light,
    That dragonís slept in the day
    So they could fight knights

    DIFFICULT TO SAY HOW

    Difficult to say how
    She earns a living, for
    She sells sea shells
    On the sea shore

    THE THEFT OF A WHOLE SHOP

    The theft of a whole shop in Regents
    Street was caught on CCTV
    But police are appealing for anyone
    Who saw people taking Liberty's

    I HAVE A NUMBER OF CATS

    I have a number of cats, but one
    Is a mischievous kitten
    Who swallowed a ball of wool
    As a result she had Mittens

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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