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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 304

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 304

    IíM SOMETHING OF A JOKER # 6

    Iím something of a joker
    In fact Iím a comedy clown
    I have a primatology joke
    As I like to monkey around

    IF YOU NEVER WENT TO CHURCH

    If you never went to church
    But watched songs of praise
    That might not be good enough
    When under St Peters gaze

    OUR LOCAL CHURCH IS RAISING MONEY

    Our local church is raising money
    For restoration to the steeple
    Donors make an online payment
    Using the secure system, Papal

    HE WAS RUNNING AN ELECTRIC FIRE ALL DAY

    He was running an electric fire all day
    And heíd never been so extravagant before
    But he said he wasnít worried about the cost
    Because he borrowed it from next door

    HUMEROUS HAIKU # 11

    Exaggerations
    Went up a million percent
    Last year so I heard

    I THINK MEN ARE LIKE WEAPONS

    I think men are like weapons
    Because if you keep one
    Around the house sooner or later
    Youíll want to shoot one

    SOMETIMES IíM MY OWN WORST ENEMY

    Sometimes Iím my own worst enemy
    I admitted to my wife Dot
    In reply she said chillingly
    Not while Iím alive youíre not

    HE WAS LOCKED UP AFTER HE THREW

    He was locked up after he threw
    His wifeís clothes out the window
    What made it a heinous crime
    She was wearing them at the time

    HE MARKED HIS GOLDEN WEDDING

    He marked his golden wedding
    With his customary defiance
    Celebrating the special occasion
    With a two minutes silence

    MY WIFE ALWAYS GETS HISTORICAL

    My wife always gets historical
    When we argue, not hysterical
    She drags up things you know
    That happened many years ago

    SHE WAS NINETY THREE YEARS OLD

    She was ninety three years old
    While he was only ninety one
    Not a cross word, but they were
    Both deaf when said and done

    IF I SAID MY DOG RAN TEN MILES,

    If I said my dog ran ten miles,
    And not so his legs were stretched,
    But to retrieve his favourite stick,
    Would you think it too far fetched

    IN A BORNEO JUNGLE THERE IS

    In a Borneo jungle there is
    An albino orang-utan
    That the indigenous people call
    A meringue-utan

    THE FITTEST HIMALAYAN

    500 sit-ups a day
    For the fittest Himalayan
    Has earned him the name
    The abdominal snowman

    A PARROT SAT ON A CUSTODY CHAIR

    A Parrot sat on a custody chair
    And continually prattled on
    In fact he sang like a canary
    So he was a real Stool Pigeon

    AT THE END OF THE DAY

    At the end of the day
    Cats enjoy a drink
    And the love to hear
    The Mice cubes chink

    THE BEST WAY TO GET YOU SAFELY

    The best way to get you safely
    Across the desert to the next well
    Is on the famous dromedary
    Humphrey the three humped camel

    DAMIEN DUCK WAS DRESSED UP

    Damien Duck was dressed up
    For the Halloween extravaganza
    And went to the Halloween party
    As Vampire Count Quackula

    THE DIAMONDBACK WAS IN TEARS

    The Diamondback was in tears
    And was quite inconsolable
    The reason was that someone
    Had taken away his rattle

    EVERYONE WANTED TO HANG OUT

    Everyone wanted to hang out
    With the mushroom but why?
    I didnít see the fascination
    But itís because heís a fungi

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Farcical quatrains and 1- Humorous Haiku... enjoyed

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  3. #3

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