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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 298

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 298

    GETTING ON # 13

    You know that you have
    Become an older chap
    When your ďhappy hourĒ
    Is spent taking a nap

    FUNERALS DO NOT HAVE TO BE A TIME OF SADNESS

    Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness
    And while they should not be a time of gladness
    They can still be a time of celebration though
    Especially if the deceased was a miserable so and so

    SOMETIMES AFTER THE WEDDING

    Sometimes after the wedding
    Despite the best intentions
    There is a Honeymoon period
    Causing unlucky abstentions

    BREAKING NEWS IS COMING IN

    Breaking News is coming in
    About a tragedy, Iím being told
    Itís at an origami competition
    More to follow as it unfolds

    ON THE MILLENNIUM FALCON

    On the Millennium Falcon
    When things are a bit slow
    With time to knock one out,
    Which is called a hand solo

    AT MY ADVANCED AGE # 3

    At my advanced age
    I can still cut the mustard
    Itís just opening the jar
    That I find so terribly hard

    IíM SOMETHING OF A JOKER # 1

    Iím something of a joker
    In fact, Iím comedy crazy
    I even have a Sloth joke
    But to be fare itís a bit lazy

    TGIGF

    We celebrate Good Friday
    And thank God reverently
    For our saviourís sacrifice
    Thank God It's Good Friday

    MY POETIC LICENSE

    Something has happened
    That I donít think is nice
    Because my poetic license
    Has been revoked, Twice

    THERE WAS A PARADE OF RABBITS

    There was a parade of rabbits
    All in a line
    Hopping backwards,
    A receding hare-line

    WRITER CHARLES DICKENS

    Writer Charles Dickens
    Kept in his kitchen
    The best of thymes,
    The worst of thymes

    THE GIANTS GRANDLY FEAST

    The Giants grandly feast
    In their great dominion
    And the favourite delicacy
    Among them is pickled minions

    WE DONíT HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD

    We donít have all the time in the world
    Make each day count, is my view
    So, focus all of your efforts on today
    And do the things you really want to do

    DR WHO IS RENOWNED

    Dr Who is renowned
    For being totally awesome
    But she had to call a Dalek
    About a termite problem

    FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY

    Float like a Butterfly
    Sting like a Bee
    Float like Buffalo,
    Get punched in the face

    A DEAL OF STRICTURE

    I made an error, for which
    There was a deal of stricture
    On reflection I should not
    Have asked Thor to hang a picture

    THE HABITUALLY DISAPPOINTED SUPPORT GROUP

    The habitually disappointed support group
    Had good reason to bellyache
    As their meeting had been cancelled
    And as a result, there would be no cake

    OLD AGE IS LIKE BEING IN A PLANE

    Old age is like being in a plane
    Flying through a typhoon
    Because once youíre on board
    There is nothing you can do

    MIDDLE AGE IS THE TIME

    Middle age is the time
    When it takes you all night
    To do once, what once,
    You used to do all night

    THE LATE GREAT GEORGE BURNS

    ďI smoke 10 to 15 cigars a dayĒ
    George Burns said when he was still a thing
    Approaching his hundredth birthday
    ďAt my age I have to hold on to somethingĒ

    January 20th,1896 - March 9th, 1996

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Putting the fun back in funerals !... and Origami !!!

    Phoo on those taking your poetic license away... TGIGF, Ali !!!, MARVELous (Thor) !, G.B. (amazing man)

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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