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Thread: Fragmented Dreams

  1. #1
    Registered User
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    Fragmented Dreams

    It lies with me,
    all my fear,
    in the depths of night
    revealing itself.

    The closer I approached
    the farther we appeared.
    Our lips touched
    and I was alone.

    "Happy Birthday"
    I baked you a cake!
    The flour dusts the air
    and frosting crusts the counters of his apartment.
    "I don't want anything to do with you", he said.
    If I cant have everything to do with you."
    I dont notice the roach
    cleaning the mess.

    No one wants to share the table,
    among the sisters
    Ive always wanted, or
    the mother I wished I had.
    Father keeps talk kind but distant.
    I look for you
    and you tell me Im worth it
    as you wash in the bath, the son,
    who wasnt the little girl
    you always wanted.

    The fear of night
    stays until day,
    and keeps me awake.

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    Gold Country
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    Ambitious ambiguity as all dreams must be. Enjoyed very much.

    Small niggle with L1 (the lay/lie conundrum I believe... https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/ed...lay-versus-lie )... though lie sounds better than lay (and agrees with night). Of course if both you and fear (it) are lying, as in telling lies, lie would work... but I don't think that's what you're going for.

    S3... Conditional love and I are old friends (sigh). Not noticing a roach in a dream is excellent.

    S4/L7... I'm

    S5... Awake in a dream - my favorite.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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