Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Incinerate

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    115

    Incinerate

    Throw your torch!

    Flame-spitten to an ash-wilted pyre
    and watch amongst the phantom hordes,
    a publicly relished rage,
    writhing to fuel a fire.

    Breathe with soft lips upon the embers,
    Heat exposed beneath my feet,
    and deny with a vehemence
    that our lips ever did at one time meet.

    Voice your grievance,
    one in a one-thousand voiced choir,
    and let the cacophony burn in my heart,
    the sound of only your voice,
    forever that does not expire.

    And I could have been anyone
    when anyone would do.
    Not lovingly chosen
    but hunted instinctively in pursuit.

    And I fed the flames
    which once made me feel protected and complete
    but which now make me nothing
    but disappointment disposed of at your feet.
    Last edited by Shadowlight; 05-05-2020 at 05:06 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Gold Country
    Posts
    18,203
    Blog Entries
    13
    A wonderful start. All my poems are subject to revision at any time... sometimes after many years.

    "And I fed those flames
    which once made me feel protected and complete
    but which now make me nothing
    but disappointment disposed of at your feet."

    This sentiment hits a chord within me having experienced being discarded and recently having to relive all the emotions that are associated (it's so complicated!). I'm still processing my feelings with prayer and tears... perhaps a poem or two may result.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  3. #3
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    At the north border
    Posts
    3,381
    Blog Entries
    156
    This has some very raw and significant emotions that you convey well in your imagery. I particularly felt the pain at your conclusion. These are my observations of your poem

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    115
    Thank you for your response BUh4Bee. Im glad the emotion was well conveyed to you in the imagery. I feel I sometimes can be too abstract and like it when I can pull off a vision.

    Tailor, I'm sorry you have recently gone through a loss. Feeling harmed and betrayed by someone you love is the hardest thing. I've always agreed with the Kübler-Ross model of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Ive never necessarily experienced them in that order and anger is always my final stage before acceptance. The situation I was in was really kind of no ones fault and the separation between me and the person I loved was unbearable, mostly because neither of us really wanted to leave each other. But it wasnt until they finally hurt me that I felt any relief, like I could get past not having them in my life by just holding onto that anger. Funny enough, that anger was so delicate and the next time I saw them they showed me a kindness that blew it all away, I lost it's protection and my heart is just raw again. It makes me wonder what it takes to heal, to finally get to acceptance? What can a person actively do?

    Yeah, so im in the whirlwind. I hope you can write a poem Tailor, Id be nice to hear someone else's story. Maybe it can help me forget mine.
    Last edited by Shadowlight; 06-29-2020 at 04:06 AM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •