Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: If it be time

  1. #1
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Egypt
    Posts
    1,017

    If it be time

    If it be time to go back,
    Let me paint my eyes and nails black--
    Let me cover my skin in ink and colors:
    Of cats, birds, words, and flowers.

    If it be time to leave this all behind,
    Let me drain the residue of my mind,
    Interpolate my letters and dashes,
    Rearrange my books and my eyelashes.

    If it be time to die--
    Bear with me this brief goodbye.

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Gold Country
    Posts
    18,135
    Blog Entries
    13
    Love this. I might be tempted to finish with "If it be time to die--" reversing the order of the last two lines, or deleting "Bear with me..." altogether.

    Sincerely,

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  3. #3
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,902
    Blog Entries
    62
    I agree. I like the shift between going back and leaving behind. Very well done and left me pleasantly dizzy.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  4. #4
    Miaaow! Twota's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Egypt
    Posts
    1,017
    Thank you, Taylor and Delta! I am glad you enjoyed it. I think I will also follow what you said in regards to omitting that last line. It does read better without it.

    I can't find the Edit Post option available on the first post in the thread. Is that normal? xD
    Last edited by Twota; 05-23-2020 at 04:19 PM.

Similar Threads

  1. In Search of Lost Time: Am I wasting my time?
    By hcastex in forum General Literature
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-20-2017, 01:53 AM
  2. Time Magazine's List of the Ten Greatest Books of all Time
    By Red Terror in forum General Literature
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-10-2016, 03:16 AM
  3. Replies: 51
    Last Post: 08-30-2015, 02:01 PM
  4. Time Out
    By ampoule in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-21-2008, 12:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •