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Thread: A Little Bit Of Humour # 283

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    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    A Little Bit Of Humour # 283

    A NOTIONAL MOTION

    Toast always lands butter side down
    It’s a rule of locomotion
    And a cat always lands on its feet
    Now here is a curious notion
    If you tie the toast to the cat
    Would that result in perpetual motion?

    SW19 CHEESE

    When you are at Wimbledon
    And you order a cheese baguette
    The filling will most likely be,
    Given the location, Tennis Raclette

    MY WIFE ACCUSED ME

    My wife accused me
    Of being the immature sort
    I wasn’t very happy
    So I said “get out of my fort”

    POSSESSED BUNDLE

    My TV programmer is on the blink
    The things possessed I'm in no doubt
    It records the programs I don't like
    And plays them back when I go out

    THE REASON THAT THE OLD MAN

    The reason that the old man
    Fell in the well?
    Was simply because
    He couldn't see very well

    I ATE MY MUM’S CLOCK

    I ate my mum’s clock yesterday,
    When she finds out shell be fuming,
    However it was a day well spent
    Eating clocks is very time consuming

    I KNOW A LOT OF JOKES ABOUT THE UNEMPLOYED

    I know a lot of jokes about the unemployed
    The unfortunates and the ones who shirk
    But no matter how many jokes I make
    The simple truth is that none of them work

    IF A COWBOY ASKS YOU IF YOU CAN HELP

    If a cowboy asks you if you can help
    Round up his nineteen cows
    Just smile and say “Yes, of course”
    That would be twenty cows”

    A THESAURUS IS PRECIOUS

    A thesaurus is precious
    There’s no doubt about it
    A thesaurus is great
    There's no other word for it

    SLEEP IS MY MOST FAVOURITE THING

    Sleep is my most favourite thing
    From lights out to days dawning
    In fact it would be true to say
    It's the why I get up in the morning

    THE REASON WHY COWS HAVE HOOVES

    The reason why cows have hooves
    Instead of feet, everyone knows,
    Because they are cloven footed
    For the simple reason they lactose

    CAR FOOTBALL IS ACTUALLY A THING

    Car Football is actually a thing
    And some people think it’s cute
    But I don’t think cars should play
    Because they only had one boot

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    MANICHAEAN MANICHAEAN's Avatar
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    Quirky and clever.

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