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Thread: Christmas 2019 # 1

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Christmas 2019 # 1

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 39

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And alone in the Croft
    The owner banged his head and cussed
    As he did all too oft

    ELF IS AN ACRONYM

    ELF is an acronym
    And it has them running amuck
    Because it’s Santa’s code
    For the Elves he’d like to ......

    WHAT DOES RUDOLF CALL HIS WIFE?

    What does Rudolf call his wife?
    Is that the question that I hear?
    I would have thought it obvious
    That he would call her Deer

    THE OFFICE PARTY

    The office party
    Was relief from the slog
    When you spent your time
    Hitting the nog
    And hanging by the mistletoe
    Hoping for a snog

    THANKSGIVING COMES BEFORE CHRISTMAS

    Thanksgiving comes before Christmas
    That is undisputedly customary
    But there is one exception to the rule,
    The order is reversed in the dictionary

    THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ALPHABET

    There is a difference between the Alphabet
    And the Christmas one which we know well
    And it’s quite logical when you think about it
    Because the Christmas Alphabet has no L

    FAIRY TALE STATISTIC

    Here’s a Statistic
    That’s really crappy
    6 out of 7 dwarves
    Really aren’t Happy

    CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

    It was Christmas Eve closing time, nearly
    Where a last minute shopper, frustrated clearly
    Was rummaging through the freezer cabinet
    At her nearest out of town super market
    Desperately searching for a frozen turkey
    And couldn’t find one big enough for her family
    Then she saw a young shop assistant pass by
    And decided that she would give him a try
    “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” she said
    Puzzled he replied “No madam, they’re dead.”

    MR GLISTEN COMES TO TOWN

    The snow has come its falling fast
    It’s time to dance about and cheer
    Soon it will be time to build a snowman
    I build the same one every year

    When the snow is lying deep and fresh
    I go to the cupboard in my room
    Where I get his hat, gloves and scarf
    And of course his Birchwood broom

    Mum says “don’t you stay out long”
    But she knows that I don’t listen
    She knows that it takes some time
    To build the perfect Mr Glisten

    I always start in the same place
    And make the body large and round
    For his head I roll a smaller ball
    Rolling it on the snowy ground

    Soon he stands up taller than me
    Rising up from the fallen snow
    Each year it takes a little longer
    As like me each year he grows

    Down his front go pebble buttons
    From his neck down to the floor
    His stick arms wear his gloves
    Which don’t really fit him anymore

    Then I put on his scarf and hat
    His birch broom stands by his side
    Marbles to make his eyes shine
    And a stick mouth smiling wide

    Last the carrot nose goes in place
    And I step back and a moment spend
    Gazing at the happy snowman face
    Then I say “Hello my old friend”

    TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 40

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all thru the Mill
    Nothing was stirring
    As the great wheel was still
    Only the fire in the hearth moved
    As it kept away the chill

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Nice assortment; enjoyed especially CHRISTMAS SHOPPING and MR GLISTEN COMES TO TOWN.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

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