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Thread: Hurricane Lamp Belong Jesus Christ Gone Bugger-Off

  1. #1
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    Hurricane Lamp Belong Jesus Christ Gone Bugger-Off

    The world is grey, perpetual twilight
    is what passes here for day.
    The sun would rather stay in bed
    beneath the blanket clouds
    than show his face and grace
    the world with beaming smiles.

    The moon may gaze benignly
    on some foreign shore
    and doubtless, stars are shining
    in antipodean skies
    but here, we get by without their help.
    Cowering like beaten whelps,
    those of us who can,
    Toil in shops.

    Mostly though,
    with winter sales in full swing,
    we stand damp-footed on the chilly concrete flags,
    press our noses to the glass
    like urchins peering at gilded privilege,
    and strain our ears to catch
    those words of wisdom
    spilled when money talks.

    Back home, the opiate of daytime-telly
    waits to fill our bellies
    with the dross of Simon Cowell,
    as would-be failed celebrities compete
    for approbation or derisive howls.

    Bring me sunshine,
    not the might of Rome
    with it’s cold-turkey diet
    of bread and circuses…

  2. #2
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    Wow... seasonal affective disorder never sounded so good (I mean bad good).

    Love the title btw - pidgin English?

    H

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    Thanks hill, and yes it is pidgin, although I believe technically it's pidgin for "Eclipse", but it felt right

    Live and be well - H
    Last edited by Hawkman; 12-28-2011 at 11:10 AM.

  4. #4
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    The title assuredly promised something different and indeed the poem lacks some of your usual attention to form and meter, but you are every bit as good in this more vernacular voice than in any of your other more elegiac poems.

    And the (belated) best of the holiday season...

  5. #5
    The Wolf of Larsen WolfLarsen's Avatar
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    Throw form and especially meter in the garbage. Decent poem. Great title! I think the title shows that you are capable of something far more creative.
    "...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
    My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen

  6. #6
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    The title is enlightening, but to paraphrase the expression from Jerry Maguire, you had me at "antipodean."

    My favorite line is "urchins peering at the gilded privileged," but I love it all.

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    Prince: Thanks for reading and finding it pleasing. Thanks also for your felicitous holiday wishes

    Wolf: Form and metre have their place in the pantheon of poetry, so forgive me if I don't discard them completely. Nevertheless, I am grateful for your edifying comment.

    Auntie: I'm delighted that you found "antipodean" enjoyable I'm glad you liked my urchins too, although they are not so much peering at the priviledged, but rather the gilded trappings of priviledge. Contracted slightly, It was an attempt to convey the yellow of tungsten lighting in posh shops when viewed from the semi-darkness of outside.

    Anyway, I'm immensely pleased you liked the poem. Thanks for reading.

    Live and be well - H
    Last edited by Hawkman; 12-28-2011 at 08:58 PM.

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    Get this man some vitamin D!







    J

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    I'll settle for some sunshine and a bag of money, thanks

    H

  10. #10
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    One of my favourite Hawkman productions, full of wonderful lines,
    S3 was particularly stuffed with brilliant imagery and observation. I am still confused by the title, you have had me googling pidgin English and all sorts I can see the eclipse definition you mentioned... I googled the whole title and I was directed to..............your poem above Ha Ha.
    cheers
    JerryB

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  11. #11
    a dark soul Haunted's Avatar
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    Like Jerry the title had my head spinning in all directions. Couldn't put it next to the poem without knowing it's pidgin for eclipse. But why pidgin? Winter is tough enough, Hawk has to throw us yet another curve. Other than that, the poem echos my winter doldrums and for that, cold-turkey diet doesn't cut it, I'm going cold turkey on the whole winter thing.

    "But do you really, seriously, Major Scobie," Dr. Sykes asked, "believe in hell?"
    "Oh, yes, I do."
    "In flames and torment?"
    "Perhaps not quite that. They tell us it may be a permanent sense of loss."
    "That sort of hell wouldn't worry me," Fellowes said.
    "Perhaps you've never lost anything of importance," Scobie said.

  12. #12
    Card-carrying Medievalist Lokasenna's Avatar
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    To join the recurring theme, the title drew me in... and I'm glad it did! This is an excellent poem. The second stanza, in particular, seems very powerful to me.
    "I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance. And when I saw my devil, I found him serious, thorough, profound, solemn: he was the spirit of gravity- through him all things fall. Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we slay. Come, let us slay the spirit of gravity!" - Nietzsche

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    This myth mixed recipe is irresistible and I like it for I have read a poem I call a poem

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    JB, Haunted, Loki & Osho, thank you all for reading and not being too put off by the title - lol I mean, why not pidgin? I'd love to have a go at writing poetry in pidgin

    Really appreciate your appreciation, so thanks again.

    Live and be well - H

  15. #15
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    There are some really great lines in here, but I particularly enjoyed the cynicism of the third stanza.

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