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Thread: silly ruff draft.. trying to write a love poem now

  1. #1
    Grim Reaper
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    silly ruff draft.. trying to write a love poem now

    ok i have written all about darkness. now i think it might be fun to try at a mushy gushy love poem. this just kinda came to me this morning. i had no paper so i had to simply remember it.
    I used to think, that love was just a fable
    It was just something that i would never be able
    To do for my past cast a shadow on my heart
    It was not that way from the start
    Before i witnessed what i thought was true love crumble
    Before i saw that love crumble
    And when it was no more i believed
    That thoughts of love were for the young and nieve
    But then You walked into the view of my eyes
    It was like finally seeing heaven behind the vast skies
    I could not eat i could not sleep
    I could not dream or merely think
    I could do nothing but want for you
    I started to wonder if you felt that way too
    And when i finally told you how i felt
    When you smiled i felt my heart melt
    You told me that you knew we would be together already
    And now we're together our love staying steady-

    ok yal (yal??...silly me)
    take in mind this is a mere ruft draft. i am not sure i like it to much because i am better at being depressed.
    whatdoya think. HONESTLY!!
    "My body won't succumb to my heart and it's tearing me apart"

    "There is no point to democracy when ignorance is celebrated"

  2. #2
    Grim Reaper
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    no! on the second before, i meant tumble.. oopsy... my bad
    pardoh moi
    "My body won't succumb to my heart and it's tearing me apart"

    "There is no point to democracy when ignorance is celebrated"

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    Thats a good start. Honest, thoughtful, a little mushy as a love poem should be wink . The question is what does your sweetie think of it?

  4. #4
    Grim Reaper
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    (i'm going "somewhere" who's coming with me?

    - thats a catch..
    .. there is no sweetie
    ......... only a really "close" friend
    ............ wink
    "My body won't succumb to my heart and it's tearing me apart"

    "There is no point to democracy when ignorance is celebrated"

  5. #5
    Registered User caesar's Avatar
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    Yeah, good start........
    Last edited by caesar; 07-09-2006 at 11:35 PM.
    "Don't need a gun to blow your mind"

  6. #6
    Registered User Weems's Avatar
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    I always applaud when a person focusses on the positive! Keep working at it! While we have a natural tendency to look for negative everywhere, we all (maybe secretly) want to be lifted and feel good. I love focussing on the positive and I love being surrounded by people who can lift the layers off the obvious negative and expose opportunities to see bad things in a good light...

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