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Thread: The Rabbit

  1. #1
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    The Rabbit

    The Rabbit walks on moss and rocks
    it’s raining mud through broken sticks
    the cavern makes arachnids talk
    with flames that shadows love to kiss
    The Rabbit stumbles into knots
    of spiderwebs that line the cave
    where butterflies turn into moths
    constricting all his limbs like snakes
    The Rabbit’s fading light is lost
    as silver shatters porcelain
    a silhouette of rocks and moss
    an endless metamorphosis

  2. #2
    Registered User tailor STATELY's Avatar
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    Enjoyed very much. 3-quatrains with 8-sillybibbles in each line. I like the usage of "porcelain" for a change of pace in L10. Subject and wordplay a plus in my estimation.

    Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
    tailor
    tailor

    who am I but a stitch in time
    what if I were to bare my soul
    would you see me origami

    7-8-2015

  3. #3
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
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    You have a very evocative turn of phrase. Particularly liked the second line but the whole thing was great to read.

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  4. #4
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    I appreciate your comments Thank you for reading.

  5. #5
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Its amazing!
    Especially liked
    "The Rabbit’s fading light is lost
    as silver shatters porcelain"
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

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