I'm very impressed that you came up with a brilliant poem so quickly. I really appreciate your help.
Sorry that your better half was offended by it! lol
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I'm very impressed that you came up with a brilliant poem so quickly. I really appreciate your help.
Sorry that your better half was offended by it! lol
Thanks for your valuable comments, Pompey! Will try and change the poem accordingly.
I would appreciate any comments. It doesn't flow too well..
The Arctic Ocean was alive with music
Young male walruses practised serenading a sweetheart
They rehearsed for hours in quartets and quintets
But Sylvia looked away and sighed
She was looking...
Thank you Cacian! I appreciate your advice and have changed it accordingly.
You're like deja vu
I've seen your face before somewhere
Your words are familiar like an echo from long ago
Does this sound better than the original 1st verse?
You're like deja vu
I've seen your face before somewhere
Your words are familiar like an echo from long ago
As if you knew my mother
My sister and brother
You're like deja vu
I watch you...
Thank you Yalash for your kind comments and peace be on you too!
Thanks for your comments Hawkman. It was a 5 minute exercise in a poetry workshop.
Fidelity as a woodland animal
Fidelity would not be a skunk
It would not stink
It would be a deer
Its fragrance musk
The sweet scent of fidelity
It's true dear
I would propose to you
In Sutton library
Surrounded by books
I'd pick one at random
And read a romantic line
To get you in the mood perhaps?
If you declined
I could sit in my usual spot
And...
I only explained the origin of Iggy's name because it was not a name. Apparently Brooke is unisex but much more commonly a female name.
Thanks very much for suggestions and comments Calidore, DATo and 108 fountains. You've certainly given me some ideas!
The last paragraph was an afterthought 108 fountains so it's interesting that...
This is my attempt at an environmental thriller in flash fiction format. Comments would be greatly appreciated.
It was quiet, green and peaceful. The four boys sat on the ground in the middle of the forest in the dappled sunlight. A smooth, round rock stood in the centre of the clearing. A bird perched high up...
Indeed it does, thank-you Pumpkin337
Uncanny!!
I loved your story, especially the humour. The diplopia and optician advert are cleverly woven in.
I did love Tales of the Unexpected! I know poison in a cup of tea isn't an original idea but it is set in the 1940s
Thank you kindly for your comments Pumpkin337. I hadn't thought of Poe but am interested you thought of the cat as the killer. Black cats have a particularly mysterious and knowing look about them......
Thank you 108 fountains. I really appreciate your advice and I have to watch Dragnet now!
I've made a few changes to stop it sounding misleading.
It was a dark November evening in 1947. A man carrying a briefcase and umbrella tipped his hat at his neighbour who was also on his way home. All the bay windows in the street were dimly lit or not...
The blue expanse deepened
And the white dreamy clouds of morn were merely darker patches in the sky
The sky turned from one shade of sapphire to another
Until the deepest bluest blue spread...
Loved your story. You had alot of fun vit that!
They took it to forensics. So far the signs had pointed to a professional pet kidnapping so unsurprisingly no fingerprints were found. No damage had been done to the collar, nor was there any blood...