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Alright- this is far from finished but i thought id put it out there and get some advice : ) let me know what you think!


A girl sits in the shadows,
crumbling around the edges,
like a statue...

amazingly written, i know the feeling!

What to write about?
Rid my mind of painful emotions,
Those will not do.

I’ve lost who I am,
But I want to find me again.
Drift me off to sleep,
So I find that peaceful person once again.
...

updated version:

Happy Birthday Dad.

I will always be your little girl,
from the times we went fishing,
up to the moments we argue.

The bond between this father and daughter,
and all the...

very nice, i liked the flow of this

Show me you love me;
Do little things for me,
That put smiles on my face.

Call me in the middle of the night,
Telling me all you want is to hold me,
To lay close to me through the night.
...

it says you do not except private messages from people you arent friends with, his birthday isnt until December, it just has to be short and sweet due to space issues on the frame, thanks for helping...

i agree, something in the third stanza needs to change, i dont really like how it is put together

does this sound better:

Although I am getting older,
and the times we see each other may be...

Happy Birthday Dad.

I will always be your little girl,
from the times we went fishing,
up to the moments we argue.

The bond between a father and daughter,
and the memories we have shared,...

very well done...i feel i can relate to this..nicely put : )

thanks everyone, i'm still working on it.. has many improvements to come! : )

very unique, i loved it : )

this is really cute! you put it together well : )

The emptiness within
portrays no distractions nor thoughts.
only utter silence.

a deep breathe revealed at last;
next comes the insanity,
with a mind never at rest.

a wrecking brain with...

i must say i really enjoyed this one : )

Thank you! and thanks for the correction : )

wow this is really good, i agree it sums up a lot of thoughts an emotions and shows how much you care

completely lost
with only hurtful thoughts ahead,
a broken heart,
and a pounding head.

a process many people undertake,
by losing a best friend,
a boyfriend,
even worse,
someone you...

wow, well done!

A pain of no other,
are emotions that are haywire.
theres one solution
to an instant relief,
it leaves no remorse,
only pleasure for the mind.

In goes the line,
the body goes numb,
hurtful...

Blind with love
a heart becomes broke
with two options ahead:
follow my heart
or listen to my mind

Which path do i take?
Here I am,
searching for a clue,
looking into your eyes,

thanks : ), one of my friends was in a jail cell.. and i thought id write about how i would feel if i was in one haha

Crude actions come from this girl,
with dark in her eyes,
and no warmth in her heart.

On the path to destroy others,
prancing around as a princess
when really a witch within.

Begging for...

Shattered in pieces,
Unable to repair,
Resting on the ground,
Sitting scattered.

Breaking more everyday,
by the sharp steps of others,
with no care in the world.

This heart lays,

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